My morning started with a 7:00 meeting that was full of emotions heightened by the fact that there is such a division between regular education teachers and "us" (those with special education background). The meeting ran late, and into the time when I was supposed to get my kids set up for their state testing. For me, this means that I am madly running all over the school trying to find computers that can be used, and adults who can sit with my kids, since they aren't included in the computer lab setup, add to that a computer fiasco with computers not being able to be used because of a fuse being blown, and also kids spread all over the school that I needed to find...I was at wit's end by 8:40, and the day had hardly started!
Once I got all that sorted out, I thought maybe I'd have a chance to get everything in my classroom under control, but then I also had a visit from my SPED director. While the kids were busy with a quick game, he sat down and had a conversation with me. All sorts of things were discussed, including the meeting we had just had earlier that morning, plans for next year at MES and how many teachers we would have, and an opening at OASIS (my dream job!) that he was wondering whether I was interested in! I had heard earlier this week that there was an opening, and was expecting this conversation, but I've been in turmoil all week as to what my answer would be. There are pros and cons to me staying, or me going. While the possibility is still there that I could take the job, he told me there is another person who is also interested in it, so it would be between the two of us and him choosing whom to send. At that point, I said that I wasn't interested in fighting someone else for a job. I am truly happy where I am, and if someone else is unhappy enough to be asking for a transfer, then I don't want to stand in their way. If OASIS is something that should happen for me, the doors will be wide open, and I won't have to agonize over the decision. At this point in the conversation he started asking me about how I was...you know, physically. I had to request some medical leave for my 2nd neurologist appt. a few weeks from now, and it went across his desk. The leave form asks for the reason you are requesting leave, and so I had written that I had a neurologist appt. I'm sure that this is the cause for the questioning. It really struck me though---he was actually being kind and caring. Truly concerned about my health and well being.
The rest of the day was much of the same sort of stuff---running after kids, altered schedules, class parties, and then Easter party at the end of the day. Oh, and did I mention that it has been snowing all afternoon? A real blizzard! :) That really got the kids excited.
In short, this last week, and especially today, has been pretty bumpy. There have been times that I've felt alone, unhappy, and out-of-control (I HATE that feeling). The message of Easter though is that Christ will come, and take away all of those feelings, leaving hope and a new chance to do things right.
I'm leaving you well and whole.
That's my parting gift to you.
PEACE.
I won't leave you the way you're used to being left--
feeling abandoned, bereft.
--John 14:27 The Message
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