While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” Mark 14:22-24
I’ve been processing this since yesterday, and wondering what I would end up writing. First, I should say that I knew that I would face challenges as I accepted this new way of eating. Some challenges are easily met and life goes on, while others nag at me and wait for alternatives. Yesterday’s church service provided me with a challenge that has been gnawing at me ever since, and I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.
Yesterday was the first church service of the month, and we celebrated communion together. Or rather, I celebrated parts of communion. Because of the gluten in the bread I had to pass the loaf along. While I know in my heart that God understood my reasons, it nearly brought me to tears having to do it.
Having grown up in the Mennonite church, and being baptized as a young adult, I did not participate in communion all of my life. In addition to that, Whitestone (depending on which pastors we had) did not celebrate communion very often. I remember celebrating it maybe once or twice per year. The act of communion grew to be very special to me, and holds much significance. While baptism only happens once in a lifetime, communion is meant to be observed many times throughout the life of a Christian.
My father and I have had conversations in the past about churches that take communion weekly, and how the celebration that is communion becomes common place to the congregation. While I can understand how that might happen, I often wished that Whitestone had had it more often. One of the things I love most about attending the Presbyterian Church in Marion is that they have communion at least once per month.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood; you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:53-54
While I know that I am no less of a Christian because I’m unable to partake of the bread during communion, I do feel that I’m missing out on something. Communion is a time for us to be together as a community…congregation…body… Am I still a part of that group? Surely I am, but the feeling is still there gnawing at me. Observation of communion is about remembering Christ, his sacrifice for us, and self-examination. I’m still able to remember, to be thankful, but there is something about the physical elements that makes this more difficult to me. As a teacher, I’ve learned about how one must teach to a variety of learners, taking into consideration their specific learning styles. Perhaps the kinesthetic portion of communion is how I’m able to truly reflect, learn and change?
I’m unsure whether I have any more answers now, than when I began this post. I know that the process of writing down my feelings and thoughts is cathartic for me. It could be that I will learn to accept my partial participation in communion, or that this is something I will always struggle with. I do know that avoiding the church on days of communion is NOT the approach I should choose, but I have to admit that today that looks really tempting.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sing a new song
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. --Ephesians 5:19
Music is a large part of my life. Growing up in a musical family, I was exposed to many types of musical opportunities, and developed an appreciation for many musical genres. As I go about my day to day life, there is a constant stream of music on my mind, in my ears,and on my tongue.
The day may be gloomy, with dark clouds and sleet coming down. At times, depending on what else is going on in my life, my mood will match that. Even when I'm upset there is a song that will match my mood or feelings. Often, the music of my mood is what gets me out of the funk, and on to better things.
The children in my classroom have grown accustomed to me breaking out in song. They grin and giggle each time, and then turn back to their work. Sometimes if they know the song, they'll sing along with me. Even if they don't, they try to hum along. In their time with me they've been exposed to many more types of music than they would have otherwise, as well as the exposure to academics, of course. :)
When one sings, the whole body reverberates with the sound. Deeper breaths=more oxygen in your system=quite the calming effect. For me, it heals my body and lifts my spirits. When preparing for surgery, there were only 2 things I was really concerned about. One of them was what my voice would be like afterwards, and if it were gone, how I would deal with it. I deal with all the "stuff" of life through music, and how do you come to terms with things when your ways of processing are taken away from you? I will be forever thankful for the fact that I'm still able to sing.
All of that to really say this: Today was a tough day for me. There are things that I'm worried about with family members and today brought no answers, even though they were promised. To add to that, I had a student in class who had a difficult day. He's one of my behavior students, and while he's had a good year this year, today must have been a challenge for him. In reaction to it, flying pencils, chairs and books were made a part of my day today. Through it all I had a song going through my head. I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Newcomer lately. She has plenty of songs that reflect my moods and beliefs. One of her songs is called "Geodes" and speaks of how we sometimes overlook the truly wonderful things in life. The chorus of the song especially resonated with me today.
All these things that we call familiar,
Are just miracles clothed in the common place.
You’ll see it if you try in the next stranger's eyes,
God walks around in muddy boots,
Sometimes rags and that's the truth.
You can't always tell, but sometimes you just know.
The student today comes from an awful family life. He's clothed in castoffs from other foster children who've moved on, much too big and worn. His academic needs are enormous--not because he isn't a smart little boy, but because life circumstances have gotten in the way. While he's had quite the history of behavior problems in the past, this is really the first instance he has ever shown aggression with me. Today there was a substitute teacher in his regular education classroom, and any change for a student with behavior issues can cause problems. I'm unsure whether the chaos of the classroom was what caused the problem, or whether there was something deeper bothering him. In either case he doesn't have the skills to express what is truly at the root of the problem. Even while I was dodging items today, I knew that somewhere within is the child he's been all year long for me. Instead of anger at him, I felt an incredible sadness, and an anger that he's had to deal with so much in his short life. I was able to get him calmed down, and he was able to apologize to me before leaving my room this afternoon. I'm hopeful that he is able to find some peace and that we'll be back to our normal relationship tomorrow morning.
Music is a large part of my life. Growing up in a musical family, I was exposed to many types of musical opportunities, and developed an appreciation for many musical genres. As I go about my day to day life, there is a constant stream of music on my mind, in my ears,and on my tongue.
The day may be gloomy, with dark clouds and sleet coming down. At times, depending on what else is going on in my life, my mood will match that. Even when I'm upset there is a song that will match my mood or feelings. Often, the music of my mood is what gets me out of the funk, and on to better things.
The children in my classroom have grown accustomed to me breaking out in song. They grin and giggle each time, and then turn back to their work. Sometimes if they know the song, they'll sing along with me. Even if they don't, they try to hum along. In their time with me they've been exposed to many more types of music than they would have otherwise, as well as the exposure to academics, of course. :)
When one sings, the whole body reverberates with the sound. Deeper breaths=more oxygen in your system=quite the calming effect. For me, it heals my body and lifts my spirits. When preparing for surgery, there were only 2 things I was really concerned about. One of them was what my voice would be like afterwards, and if it were gone, how I would deal with it. I deal with all the "stuff" of life through music, and how do you come to terms with things when your ways of processing are taken away from you? I will be forever thankful for the fact that I'm still able to sing.
All of that to really say this: Today was a tough day for me. There are things that I'm worried about with family members and today brought no answers, even though they were promised. To add to that, I had a student in class who had a difficult day. He's one of my behavior students, and while he's had a good year this year, today must have been a challenge for him. In reaction to it, flying pencils, chairs and books were made a part of my day today. Through it all I had a song going through my head. I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Newcomer lately. She has plenty of songs that reflect my moods and beliefs. One of her songs is called "Geodes" and speaks of how we sometimes overlook the truly wonderful things in life. The chorus of the song especially resonated with me today.
All these things that we call familiar,
Are just miracles clothed in the common place.
You’ll see it if you try in the next stranger's eyes,
God walks around in muddy boots,
Sometimes rags and that's the truth.
You can't always tell, but sometimes you just know.
The student today comes from an awful family life. He's clothed in castoffs from other foster children who've moved on, much too big and worn. His academic needs are enormous--not because he isn't a smart little boy, but because life circumstances have gotten in the way. While he's had quite the history of behavior problems in the past, this is really the first instance he has ever shown aggression with me. Today there was a substitute teacher in his regular education classroom, and any change for a student with behavior issues can cause problems. I'm unsure whether the chaos of the classroom was what caused the problem, or whether there was something deeper bothering him. In either case he doesn't have the skills to express what is truly at the root of the problem. Even while I was dodging items today, I knew that somewhere within is the child he's been all year long for me. Instead of anger at him, I felt an incredible sadness, and an anger that he's had to deal with so much in his short life. I was able to get him calmed down, and he was able to apologize to me before leaving my room this afternoon. I'm hopeful that he is able to find some peace and that we'll be back to our normal relationship tomorrow morning.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Pinning Ceremony
This evening is my pinning ceremony, a celebration of all my hard work, and signifying an end to the classes I've been taking over the past 2 years.
The graduation ceremony starts at 6:30 at the Bowne Corby building (BCCC) and reception will follow. You are invited if you'd like to come!
The graduation ceremony starts at 6:30 at the Bowne Corby building (BCCC) and reception will follow. You are invited if you'd like to come!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
So thankful
I am so blessed to have the family I have.
Heading into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season this year, I was filled with uncertainty. With all the changes in my life recently, I knew that not being able to eat the foods of tradition would be hard for me. In my daily life sticking to the gluten free diet is relatively free from angst, but the holiday season is all about tradition. And most of our traditions center around FOOD!
Again, I must say how blessed I am. Both the Buller and Johnson sides of my family really made an effort to include me and my special diet in our holiday traditions. Whether it was making gravy from cornstarch; making sure the soups for our gathering were gluten free; baking Ostkaka with tapioca and rice flours; making amazing flour-less desserts for dinner or purchases of special rice pastas--everyone really made me feel included. My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have really thrown themselves into learning about this, and helping me stay safe. THANK YOU!
Even my grandmother revamped her cooking for me. I knew that going into this she would most likely be the one that would struggle with it the most. She's amazed me at how well she substituted and was willing to try different things. We even spent time baking caramel cinnamon rolls together one afternoon. While they weren't quite what she would normally produce, they were good (even she admitted that, and she's a tough critic!).
I'm including one of the desserts that we made during my time on the farm. Aunt Terri found it in one of her internet searches... These little cakes are scrumptious! We served them with Aunt Terri's homemade icecream (thanks to Mulberry the cow, too!).
Lavish Lava Cakes (originally from the Hagen Dazs website)
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
5 T. butter
3 eggs, separated
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. finely ground espresso beans (I may have used a bit more! ;) )
t T. unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Generously butter six 3/4 cup ramekins or custard cups (we used muffin tins).
In the microwave heat chocolate and butter on medium power for 1-2 minutes until butter is melted. Stir, reheating if necessary to melt chocolate; set aside. Stir egg yolks and 2 T. sugar into chocolate/butter mixture. Add espresso.
Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl; beat until foamy. Combine remaining 2 T sugar and cocoa powder, gradually beat into whites, until soft peaks fold over when beaters are lifted.
Stir 1/3 of the chocolate/butter mixture into the whites mixture. Gently fold in remaining chocolate mixture until completely combined. Divide evenly between cups. (Can cover at this point and refrigerate up to 24 hours before baking.)
Bake 10-12 minutes until puffy and cracks form on top. Edges should be firm and center moist between the cracks. (Bake 14-16 min. if refrigerated) Cool 3 minutes . Then either serve in ramekins or invert and serve on little plates with ice cream and dusting of cocoa powder.
Heading into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season this year, I was filled with uncertainty. With all the changes in my life recently, I knew that not being able to eat the foods of tradition would be hard for me. In my daily life sticking to the gluten free diet is relatively free from angst, but the holiday season is all about tradition. And most of our traditions center around FOOD!
Again, I must say how blessed I am. Both the Buller and Johnson sides of my family really made an effort to include me and my special diet in our holiday traditions. Whether it was making gravy from cornstarch; making sure the soups for our gathering were gluten free; baking Ostkaka with tapioca and rice flours; making amazing flour-less desserts for dinner or purchases of special rice pastas--everyone really made me feel included. My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have really thrown themselves into learning about this, and helping me stay safe. THANK YOU!
Even my grandmother revamped her cooking for me. I knew that going into this she would most likely be the one that would struggle with it the most. She's amazed me at how well she substituted and was willing to try different things. We even spent time baking caramel cinnamon rolls together one afternoon. While they weren't quite what she would normally produce, they were good (even she admitted that, and she's a tough critic!).
I'm including one of the desserts that we made during my time on the farm. Aunt Terri found it in one of her internet searches... These little cakes are scrumptious! We served them with Aunt Terri's homemade icecream (thanks to Mulberry the cow, too!).
Lavish Lava Cakes (originally from the Hagen Dazs website)
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
5 T. butter
3 eggs, separated
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. finely ground espresso beans (I may have used a bit more! ;) )
t T. unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Generously butter six 3/4 cup ramekins or custard cups (we used muffin tins).
In the microwave heat chocolate and butter on medium power for 1-2 minutes until butter is melted. Stir, reheating if necessary to melt chocolate; set aside. Stir egg yolks and 2 T. sugar into chocolate/butter mixture. Add espresso.
Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl; beat until foamy. Combine remaining 2 T sugar and cocoa powder, gradually beat into whites, until soft peaks fold over when beaters are lifted.
Stir 1/3 of the chocolate/butter mixture into the whites mixture. Gently fold in remaining chocolate mixture until completely combined. Divide evenly between cups. (Can cover at this point and refrigerate up to 24 hours before baking.)
Bake 10-12 minutes until puffy and cracks form on top. Edges should be firm and center moist between the cracks. (Bake 14-16 min. if refrigerated) Cool 3 minutes . Then either serve in ramekins or invert and serve on little plates with ice cream and dusting of cocoa powder.
Monday, December 22, 2008
No wonder!
Dr. Cranston called me yesterday with test results from blood testing done last Tuesday. He had met me in the hallway after having my blood drawn, and had promised to call me yet that day with the results. Several days and phone calls to the office later, I still didn't have my results. When I called on Friday the office staff told me that he was coming in over the weekend, and that I should expect a phone call.
I had been feeling pretty crummy, still no where near the energy I would think that I would have, even after taking into consideration the fact that I just had surgery. I've been ready to go to bed at 4:00 each afternoon and stay in bed until the next morning's alarm. I realize that I just had surgery, but surely I should be able to stay up longer than 4:00 p.m.! And this is without adding in all my other responsibilities and loves. I haven't been exercising at all, and before surgery I was exercising before school and in the evening, as well as a full massage schedule. I knew that something wasn't right.
And Dr. Cranston's phone call confirmed that. A normal TSH range (thyroid test) is from 0.47 to 4.68. When my thyroid was tested a couple weeks after my surgery, it was at 0.52 which falls in the "normal" range, and Dr. Cranston was very happy with this number. Anything less than 0.47 would put me in the hyperthyroid range (more thyroid than I need), while anything above the 4.68 puts me in hypothyroid range (not enough thyroid). My test from Tuesday is reading at 5.12, which makes complete sense with how tired and worn out I am, as well as the hair that is in the tub after my baths, and my extremely dry skin.
Dr. Cranston is altering my medication level, and we'll retest in 6 weeks. I'm hopeful that sometime soon I'll start feeling like myself, and that things will be back to normal. I am thankful that Dr. Cranston took me seriously and agreed to retest my levels, and that we're going to work at finding an acceptable level for me.
These last 2 days before Christmas break promise to be busy busy. I'm fighting a cold, which adds to the fact that I have no energy. Pray that the next several days go quickly, and that Christmas vacation can be a time of rest for me!
Merry Christmas to all of you! Relax and REST over the holidays!
I had been feeling pretty crummy, still no where near the energy I would think that I would have, even after taking into consideration the fact that I just had surgery. I've been ready to go to bed at 4:00 each afternoon and stay in bed until the next morning's alarm. I realize that I just had surgery, but surely I should be able to stay up longer than 4:00 p.m.! And this is without adding in all my other responsibilities and loves. I haven't been exercising at all, and before surgery I was exercising before school and in the evening, as well as a full massage schedule. I knew that something wasn't right.
And Dr. Cranston's phone call confirmed that. A normal TSH range (thyroid test) is from 0.47 to 4.68. When my thyroid was tested a couple weeks after my surgery, it was at 0.52 which falls in the "normal" range, and Dr. Cranston was very happy with this number. Anything less than 0.47 would put me in the hyperthyroid range (more thyroid than I need), while anything above the 4.68 puts me in hypothyroid range (not enough thyroid). My test from Tuesday is reading at 5.12, which makes complete sense with how tired and worn out I am, as well as the hair that is in the tub after my baths, and my extremely dry skin.
Dr. Cranston is altering my medication level, and we'll retest in 6 weeks. I'm hopeful that sometime soon I'll start feeling like myself, and that things will be back to normal. I am thankful that Dr. Cranston took me seriously and agreed to retest my levels, and that we're going to work at finding an acceptable level for me.
These last 2 days before Christmas break promise to be busy busy. I'm fighting a cold, which adds to the fact that I have no energy. Pray that the next several days go quickly, and that Christmas vacation can be a time of rest for me!
Merry Christmas to all of you! Relax and REST over the holidays!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Baking up a Gluten Free Storm!
Many heart felt birthday wishes being sent to my dear Gustav today. I'm sad that I'm not able to be there with him today, but I know that his mommy and daddy are doing a great job of celebrating with him. His loving mommy made him a rocket cake yesterday, and I hear it was a HUGE hit today at his birthday lunch with the Hausgemeinshaft! Happy Birthday! I can't wait until you are home in the states again!
Tonight was supposed to involve the landlord coming over to move out the electric stove from my kitchen (several burners don't work on it) and my parents helping me move in a gas range that I purchased at the school auction a couple of weekends ago.
When I called to remind the landlord of his plans for this evening, he told me I just needed to leave his stove outside his garage and then he would take care of it. I guess he forgot about the fact that he said he'd move it for me. When I then called my father to remind him of our conversation about him helping me (to be fair, it did occur last week) he sounded really frustrated and I decided to ditch the idea of moving any stoves tonight. He'd been painting and hanging wallpaper all day (which wasn't going well, I take it) and in addition to all that, it snowed several inches yesterday and it might be a bit dangerous to move anything right now. Instead I think we'll postpone the entire thing until Saturday afternoon.
Instead, I came home and decided to try out one of the gluten free cookie recipes I posted last week. I mixed up the flour mixture in a big ice-cream tubby and labeled everything so that I can easily tell which tubby holds which flour mix. Then I made the dough for the Wedding Cookies (also called Russian Teacakes in our family). Instead of the sunflower seeds, I used walnuts this time. While those were chilling in the refrigerator, I also made some Gluten Free chex-type mix.
I used rice cereal, spanish peanuts, and some Glutino breadsticks I had (these are good, but not at all what I was envisioning when I bought them--no substance at all to them, so will stand in for the pretzels that chex mix normally has). I also made some chocolate chip muffins from a Gluten-Free Pantry mix that I found at Walmart the other day. 
I've looked at WalMart before for GF items, but always came up empty handed. This time I found brownie mix and muffin mix from Gluten-Free Pantry in the same area that the other muffin mix/cake mixes are located. I also found Midel and Pamela's Pantry cookies in the cookie section. Now if they'd only expand into having all the flours I need, as well as pastas.
So far I've taste tested the muffins and the cookies. Both are ok, and actually if I didn't know they were Gluten Free I'd probably think they were fairly average examples of what other people bake. I'm used to my baked good being much better than other people (I know, I'm not sounding very modest...just trying to convey why I'm a little frustrated.) I'm still struggling with the textures of things though--the mouth feel isn't quite right. Doughs are more grainy, not as smooth as I would like. I'm not sure whether I just haven't found the right flour combinations yet, or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Time will tell, I guess...
Somewhat related to all the baking mentioned above is an amazing flourless cake recipe that I stumbled across several weeks ago. I was shopping at Sam's for catering supplies for last weekend, and was able to sample this cake. I'm going to make some for myself soon, although maybe I'll have to invite some people over to enjoy it with me since I probably shouldn't eat an entire cake by myself! :) Anyone want to join me?
Milk Chocolate Flourless Cake
(6 servings)
4 oz. Hershey's milk Chocolate Kisses, unwrapped (I think I may try chocolate chips to substitute if I don't have the kisses on hand)
1 stick butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup cocoa, plus additional for dusting
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and butter sides of 8 inch round baking pan. Line bottom with a round of wax paper and butter the paper.
Combine butter and kisses in a microwavable bowl, and heat on medium/high 40-50 seconds. Stir until smooth. If needed, heat again for 20 seconds or until mixture is smooth when stirred.
Whisk in the sugar until combined. Mixture will not be smooth.
Add eggs one at a time and stir until smooth. Add the cocoa slowly and mix until blended. pour batter into pan and place in the middle of oven for 25 minutes or until top has formed a thin crust.
Cool for 5 minutes and invert onto a serving plate. Dust cake with additional cocoa.
Tonight was supposed to involve the landlord coming over to move out the electric stove from my kitchen (several burners don't work on it) and my parents helping me move in a gas range that I purchased at the school auction a couple of weekends ago.
When I called to remind the landlord of his plans for this evening, he told me I just needed to leave his stove outside his garage and then he would take care of it. I guess he forgot about the fact that he said he'd move it for me. When I then called my father to remind him of our conversation about him helping me (to be fair, it did occur last week) he sounded really frustrated and I decided to ditch the idea of moving any stoves tonight. He'd been painting and hanging wallpaper all day (which wasn't going well, I take it) and in addition to all that, it snowed several inches yesterday and it might be a bit dangerous to move anything right now. Instead I think we'll postpone the entire thing until Saturday afternoon.
Instead, I came home and decided to try out one of the gluten free cookie recipes I posted last week. I mixed up the flour mixture in a big ice-cream tubby and labeled everything so that I can easily tell which tubby holds which flour mix. Then I made the dough for the Wedding Cookies (also called Russian Teacakes in our family). Instead of the sunflower seeds, I used walnuts this time. While those were chilling in the refrigerator, I also made some Gluten Free chex-type mix.
I used rice cereal, spanish peanuts, and some Glutino breadsticks I had (these are good, but not at all what I was envisioning when I bought them--no substance at all to them, so will stand in for the pretzels that chex mix normally has). I also made some chocolate chip muffins from a Gluten-Free Pantry mix that I found at Walmart the other day. 
I've looked at WalMart before for GF items, but always came up empty handed. This time I found brownie mix and muffin mix from Gluten-Free Pantry in the same area that the other muffin mix/cake mixes are located. I also found Midel and Pamela's Pantry cookies in the cookie section. Now if they'd only expand into having all the flours I need, as well as pastas. So far I've taste tested the muffins and the cookies. Both are ok, and actually if I didn't know they were Gluten Free I'd probably think they were fairly average examples of what other people bake. I'm used to my baked good being much better than other people (I know, I'm not sounding very modest...just trying to convey why I'm a little frustrated.) I'm still struggling with the textures of things though--the mouth feel isn't quite right. Doughs are more grainy, not as smooth as I would like. I'm not sure whether I just haven't found the right flour combinations yet, or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Time will tell, I guess...
Somewhat related to all the baking mentioned above is an amazing flourless cake recipe that I stumbled across several weeks ago. I was shopping at Sam's for catering supplies for last weekend, and was able to sample this cake. I'm going to make some for myself soon, although maybe I'll have to invite some people over to enjoy it with me since I probably shouldn't eat an entire cake by myself! :) Anyone want to join me?
Milk Chocolate Flourless Cake
(6 servings)
4 oz. Hershey's milk Chocolate Kisses, unwrapped (I think I may try chocolate chips to substitute if I don't have the kisses on hand)
1 stick butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup cocoa, plus additional for dusting
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and butter sides of 8 inch round baking pan. Line bottom with a round of wax paper and butter the paper.
Combine butter and kisses in a microwavable bowl, and heat on medium/high 40-50 seconds. Stir until smooth. If needed, heat again for 20 seconds or until mixture is smooth when stirred.
Whisk in the sugar until combined. Mixture will not be smooth.
Add eggs one at a time and stir until smooth. Add the cocoa slowly and mix until blended. pour batter into pan and place in the middle of oven for 25 minutes or until top has formed a thin crust.
Cool for 5 minutes and invert onto a serving plate. Dust cake with additional cocoa.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Family
I attend such a wonderful church here in Marion. Upon discovering that I now needed to live gluten-free, one of my friends made an announcement to the congregation during a service several weeks ago. Since then there have been many concerned members who have asked me how the diet is going, offered advice that they've gleaned from "friends of friends", and in general just showed such concern for me and my well being.
Last night was our Christmas Vespers service, and yet another example of their love for me. Someone brought me special gluten free cookies and a recipe attached to the container for how to make them. Originally the recipe was full of gluten, but the recipe has been altered to have brown rice flour instead of wheat flour. The whole Darrow family now likes the gluten free version better than the previous version. Let me tell you, these cookies are scrumptious! Last night I was able to limit myself to one, but I just snarfed down three in the space of 5 minutes. I've only got two left, and then I'll be baking them for myself.
Grandma Darrow's Monster Cookies (Gluten Free Version)
Cream together: 3 eggs and 2 cups brown sugar
Add and beat until smooth: 1 t. vanilla, 1/4 t. white corn syrup, 1 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 stick butter
Add and mix: 2 t. baking soda, 1/2 cup rice flour, 4 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2 c. M&Ms, 1/2 cup chocolate chips
Scoop into balls with cookie scoop or ice cream dipper for big cookies. Flatten on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 min.
Last night was our Christmas Vespers service, and yet another example of their love for me. Someone brought me special gluten free cookies and a recipe attached to the container for how to make them. Originally the recipe was full of gluten, but the recipe has been altered to have brown rice flour instead of wheat flour. The whole Darrow family now likes the gluten free version better than the previous version. Let me tell you, these cookies are scrumptious! Last night I was able to limit myself to one, but I just snarfed down three in the space of 5 minutes. I've only got two left, and then I'll be baking them for myself.
Grandma Darrow's Monster Cookies (Gluten Free Version)
Cream together: 3 eggs and 2 cups brown sugar
Add and beat until smooth: 1 t. vanilla, 1/4 t. white corn syrup, 1 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 stick butter
Add and mix: 2 t. baking soda, 1/2 cup rice flour, 4 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2 c. M&Ms, 1/2 cup chocolate chips
Scoop into balls with cookie scoop or ice cream dipper for big cookies. Flatten on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 min.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Let's try these!
My friend Diana gives me her copy of "Living Without" (a magazine for people with food allergies--predominately gluten free recipes) after she is done reading it. This month's recipes are all about cooking for the holidays. Most exciting to me was a section on Christmas cookies! For everyday, eating gluten free is easy for me. I was a bit upset though that I was going to have to give up the holiday food that is so important to family traditions. Maybe it won't have to happen now!
I haven't tried any of these, but I'm going to post the recipes so that I don't have to lug the copies of the magazine all over, and they are easily accessed when I go home and have some time to bake with Mom. I will report back which ones are keepers and which should be tossed! Hopefully they will all be keepers!
Here is the basic cookie flour mix that you'll need for all the recipes.
Gluten-Free Cookie Flour Mix
4 cups fine brown rice flour
1 1/3 cups potato starch (not potato flour)
2/3 cup tapioca flour/starch
Combine all ingredients. Store in the refrigerator until ready to use.
And now for the cookie recipes! I'm looking forward to decorating cookies with my mom when I go home for Christmas. Some of my favorite memories are Christmas memories of decorating cookies with Mom and Heidi. Mom's cookies always looked the best, absolutely beautiful and more work of art than cookie. Heidi and I had plenty of fun though, and enjoyed making ours as glittery and crunchy as possible--sometimes to the point of being inedible. The cookies got mixed up and put in tins, and Dad was always happy to eat our creations!
Melt-in-Your-Mouth Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening (can be dairy free, etc... if allergic)
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix (above)
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1. Place confectioner's sugar and shortening in bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth and slightly fluffy.
2. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum, baking soda and cream of tartar.
4. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture, beating on low speed until thoroughly combined.
5. Gather up dough into a ball and chill it for 2 hours.
6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
7. Flour (with GF flour!) your work surface and rolling pin. Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes with your favorite cookie cutters. Using a thin spatula, transfer cookies to cookie sheets. Gather up remaining scraps of dough and roll out again, cutting and rolling until you've used it all.
8. Bake cookies in preheated oven on center rack for 10 minutes. Cool on cookie sheets for 10 minutes before transferring to wire rack.
9. Decorate with icing! My favorite part!
Spritz Cookies
(these are the ones I'm most excited about! A family favorite!)
1 1/2 cups shortening
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract (our family usually uses almond extract, I believe)
3 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat shortening and sugar in an electric mixer set on medium for about 30 seconds. Add baking powder and mix until combined. Beat in egg and vanill aextract until combined.
3. In a separate bowl, combine GF flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
4. Add the flour mixture to the shortening mixture, beating on low speed until combined.
5. Pack the dough into a cookie press. Place the face of the press firmly down on an ungreased cookie sheet and press out cookie, a single press for each cookie. Space cookies about 1 inch apart. Decorate with colored sugar, sprinkles, etc...
6. Bake for 8 minutes on center rack in preheated oven until cookie edges are firm but not brown. Cool cookies on the cookie sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Old-Fashioned Ginger Snaps
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
4 T. brown sugar
4 T. molasses
4 T. orange marmalade
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar, for rolling
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Beat shortening and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Add brown sugar, molasses, orange marmalade and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt and spices.
4. Add flour mixture to shortening mixture and beat on low speed to combine.
5. Using your hands, roll uniform-sized pieces of dough into balls.
6. Roll balls in the sugar and place on the parchment paper.
7. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for 14 minutes.
8. Let cookies cool about 5 minutes on cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
Wedding Cookies
(maybe my all-time favorite cookie)
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup finally chopped roasted sunflower seeds (I think we use either walnuts or almonds--I'll have to ask Mom about this)
1. In a large bowl, combine confectioner's sugar, shortening and vanilla extract. Blend well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
3. Stir flour mixture and sunflower seeds into sugar mixture, mixing with hands until dough holds together. Cover the bowl and let chill about 1 hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.
5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Flour your hands and shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 1 inch apart on the cookie sheets.
6. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for about 20 minutes until set but not brown.
7. Spread additional sugar evenly over the surface of a large plate. Reserve.
8. Cool cookies for 10 minutes on sheets. Gently remove with a thin spatula and roll them in confectioner's sugar. Cool completely and re-roll in confectioner's sugar, adding additional sugar as needed.
And the last recipe was given to me by one of my paraprofessionals. Her family has several gluten intolerant people, and so this is a Peanut Butter cookie recipe she makes for all of them. According to Erin, they taste exactly like the real thing!
Erin's Peanut Butter Cookies
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
That's it! Bake as you would for a normal recipe of PB cookies.
I haven't tried any of these, but I'm going to post the recipes so that I don't have to lug the copies of the magazine all over, and they are easily accessed when I go home and have some time to bake with Mom. I will report back which ones are keepers and which should be tossed! Hopefully they will all be keepers!
Here is the basic cookie flour mix that you'll need for all the recipes.
Gluten-Free Cookie Flour Mix
4 cups fine brown rice flour
1 1/3 cups potato starch (not potato flour)
2/3 cup tapioca flour/starch
Combine all ingredients. Store in the refrigerator until ready to use.
And now for the cookie recipes! I'm looking forward to decorating cookies with my mom when I go home for Christmas. Some of my favorite memories are Christmas memories of decorating cookies with Mom and Heidi. Mom's cookies always looked the best, absolutely beautiful and more work of art than cookie. Heidi and I had plenty of fun though, and enjoyed making ours as glittery and crunchy as possible--sometimes to the point of being inedible. The cookies got mixed up and put in tins, and Dad was always happy to eat our creations!
Melt-in-Your-Mouth Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening (can be dairy free, etc... if allergic)
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix (above)
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1. Place confectioner's sugar and shortening in bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth and slightly fluffy.
2. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum, baking soda and cream of tartar.
4. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture, beating on low speed until thoroughly combined.
5. Gather up dough into a ball and chill it for 2 hours.
6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
7. Flour (with GF flour!) your work surface and rolling pin. Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes with your favorite cookie cutters. Using a thin spatula, transfer cookies to cookie sheets. Gather up remaining scraps of dough and roll out again, cutting and rolling until you've used it all.
8. Bake cookies in preheated oven on center rack for 10 minutes. Cool on cookie sheets for 10 minutes before transferring to wire rack.
9. Decorate with icing! My favorite part!
Spritz Cookies
(these are the ones I'm most excited about! A family favorite!)
1 1/2 cups shortening
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract (our family usually uses almond extract, I believe)
3 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat shortening and sugar in an electric mixer set on medium for about 30 seconds. Add baking powder and mix until combined. Beat in egg and vanill aextract until combined.
3. In a separate bowl, combine GF flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
4. Add the flour mixture to the shortening mixture, beating on low speed until combined.
5. Pack the dough into a cookie press. Place the face of the press firmly down on an ungreased cookie sheet and press out cookie, a single press for each cookie. Space cookies about 1 inch apart. Decorate with colored sugar, sprinkles, etc...
6. Bake for 8 minutes on center rack in preheated oven until cookie edges are firm but not brown. Cool cookies on the cookie sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Old-Fashioned Ginger Snaps
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
4 T. brown sugar
4 T. molasses
4 T. orange marmalade
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar, for rolling
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Beat shortening and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Add brown sugar, molasses, orange marmalade and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt and spices.
4. Add flour mixture to shortening mixture and beat on low speed to combine.
5. Using your hands, roll uniform-sized pieces of dough into balls.
6. Roll balls in the sugar and place on the parchment paper.
7. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for 14 minutes.
8. Let cookies cool about 5 minutes on cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
Wedding Cookies
(maybe my all-time favorite cookie)
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup finally chopped roasted sunflower seeds (I think we use either walnuts or almonds--I'll have to ask Mom about this)
1. In a large bowl, combine confectioner's sugar, shortening and vanilla extract. Blend well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
3. Stir flour mixture and sunflower seeds into sugar mixture, mixing with hands until dough holds together. Cover the bowl and let chill about 1 hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.
5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Flour your hands and shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 1 inch apart on the cookie sheets.
6. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for about 20 minutes until set but not brown.
7. Spread additional sugar evenly over the surface of a large plate. Reserve.
8. Cool cookies for 10 minutes on sheets. Gently remove with a thin spatula and roll them in confectioner's sugar. Cool completely and re-roll in confectioner's sugar, adding additional sugar as needed.
And the last recipe was given to me by one of my paraprofessionals. Her family has several gluten intolerant people, and so this is a Peanut Butter cookie recipe she makes for all of them. According to Erin, they taste exactly like the real thing!
Erin's Peanut Butter Cookies
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
That's it! Bake as you would for a normal recipe of PB cookies.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Yippee! I found something I like!
Okay,this is sad. I've already told you that the thing that I was most concerned with about going gluten free was the fact that I wouldn't be able to enjoy beer anymore. This coming from a person that rarely drinks--only partaking when I'm with other family members or friends.
While I've found some really bad gluten free items, I've also found some really good things. Two of the best items are gluten free beer! Yippee!!!
Mom and Dad indulged me the other night when we were in Wichita, and we made a trip to Jacob's--the biggest liquor store in Wichita. There I found 3 gluten free beers, one of which I had already tried and decided I hated. Marion in all of it's glory actually carries gluten free beer, although not a brand that actually tastes any good. I had tried Dragon's Gold even before I was diagnosed--it is terrible! Maybe it was what I was eating while I was drinking, but it wasn't to my liking. Very much like a porter, and although I like dark beer, I don't have a taste for porter. I was so excited to find 2 other types of gluten free beer at Jacob's. I bought 6 packs of both.
Anheuser-Busch has a new gluten free beer, called "Redbridge". It is made from sorghum, and is very very good. Reminds me a bit of a wheat beer.
Lakefront Brewery from Milwaukee has a new beer called "New Grist". Made from sorghum and rice extracts, it also is very good.
Between the two of these, I will be fine. Now I've only got to convince the owner in Marion to carry at least one of them.
While I'm drinking my New Grist tonight, I'm waiting for a loaf of bread to rise. I've been really hungry for a crispy grilled cheese sandwich and hot tomato soup to dip in since it has been so cool lately. But...I can't just go out to the store and buy a loaf of bread anymore. I've got to plan ahead and have something already baked. Pamela's Products wonderful bread mix to the rescue again!
My next project will be to make some pecan sticky rolls with the same bread mix. My friend Diana made some right before Thanksgiving, and I guess they were amazing. She says she made the sweet roll dough from on the same package. She put melted butter, cinnamon, and pecans in the bottom of muffin tins, and then scooped some dough in each. YUM!
I'll keep you updated as I discover new products. I hope you are all doing well!
While I've found some really bad gluten free items, I've also found some really good things. Two of the best items are gluten free beer! Yippee!!!
Mom and Dad indulged me the other night when we were in Wichita, and we made a trip to Jacob's--the biggest liquor store in Wichita. There I found 3 gluten free beers, one of which I had already tried and decided I hated. Marion in all of it's glory actually carries gluten free beer, although not a brand that actually tastes any good. I had tried Dragon's Gold even before I was diagnosed--it is terrible! Maybe it was what I was eating while I was drinking, but it wasn't to my liking. Very much like a porter, and although I like dark beer, I don't have a taste for porter. I was so excited to find 2 other types of gluten free beer at Jacob's. I bought 6 packs of both.
Anheuser-Busch has a new gluten free beer, called "Redbridge". It is made from sorghum, and is very very good. Reminds me a bit of a wheat beer.
Lakefront Brewery from Milwaukee has a new beer called "New Grist". Made from sorghum and rice extracts, it also is very good.
Between the two of these, I will be fine. Now I've only got to convince the owner in Marion to carry at least one of them.
While I'm drinking my New Grist tonight, I'm waiting for a loaf of bread to rise. I've been really hungry for a crispy grilled cheese sandwich and hot tomato soup to dip in since it has been so cool lately. But...I can't just go out to the store and buy a loaf of bread anymore. I've got to plan ahead and have something already baked. Pamela's Products wonderful bread mix to the rescue again!
My next project will be to make some pecan sticky rolls with the same bread mix. My friend Diana made some right before Thanksgiving, and I guess they were amazing. She says she made the sweet roll dough from on the same package. She put melted butter, cinnamon, and pecans in the bottom of muffin tins, and then scooped some dough in each. YUM!
I'll keep you updated as I discover new products. I hope you are all doing well!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I've got a "Gratitude Attitude"
This past week the kindergarten, 1st and 2nd graders had their Thanksgiving concert. One of the songs was called "Gratitude Attitude". At a point in the song the kids were able to come up to the mic and shout out what they were grateful for. Many mentioned family, friends, living in the US, etc... The one that was my favorite though was a former student of mine. Knowing the kid as I do, I was praying that something acceptable would come out of his mouth when he came up to the mic. He's had a tough life...abusive father, mother who was beaten numerous times in front of him, learning disability, moving frequently between Marion and Wichita and last year his father committed suicide. He's been talking about his father a lot recently, and his mother wasn't quite sure what would come out of his mouth when he got his chance. We were all relieved when out of his mouth popped "I'm thankful for bananas!" :)
I too am thankful for bananas. I'm thankful for so much more though.
I'm thankful for loving parents who take care of me and have raised me in a wonderful home.
I'm thankful for my sister Heidi, and the loving close friendship we share.
I'm thankful for my dear brother-in-law, Tim, who always makes me smile.
I'm thankful for my nephew Gustav, and his continued good health and constant learning.
I'm thankful for my extended families on both sides, and the fact that we are so close to each other and enjoy spending time with each other.
I'm thankful for a talented surgeon, a benign tumor, and continued recovery.
I'm thankful for a new diagnosis of celiac, and the possibilities of fewer migraines in my future!
I'm thankful for my many friends. They span the globe and have many interests, but I love spending time with each of them.
I'm thankful for a stable job in this unstable economic time.
I am blessed.
Tomorrow is a day devoted to counting our blessings. Mine are more numerous than what I can list here. The following Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. While I have many of my Christmas gifts already purchased and waiting to be wrapped, I know that there are many who will not be able to give gifts.
I happened to see this clip through another friend's blog.
I've written about my hatred of Santa on here before. I won't bore you again. I feel that the clip speaks for itself, and America's consumerism. As I was watching this clip though, my mind kept coming back to how fortunate I am. The church I attend here in Marion usually participates in Marion's version of the Angel Tree. This year our town is in crisis. In a town of 1800 the closings of businesses and layoffs in others has been felt drastically. Our food bank is nearly empty. Parents aren't concerned with giving their children presents for Christmas this year, they need food to put in their children's mouths. Instead of collecting presents for the children in Marion this year, we are all asked to donate to the food pantry.
While I am trying to stretch my dollars as far as they will go these days, I am no-where near where many families are. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, whether there will be anything to put in my mouth. My stomach does not groan with hunger pains.
Tomorrow I will be feasting with my loved ones. I am confident that the table will be packed with dishes, and that no one will be leaving hungry. We'll have seconds, thirds, and leftovers to take home. We'll laugh at each other, and with each other! :) We'll nap, we'll play. We will show our love for each other.
I'm still trying to figure out what all I can do to help those around me. So far I've got a shopping trip planned for purchasing items that food stamps won't cover (toiletries like deoderant, shampoo, etc...) and canned items. It isn't much, but it is a way I can contribute.
Happy Thanksgiving dear friends and family. May you enjoy the time with your loved ones tomorrow and over the weekend, and be thinking of those around you!
I too am thankful for bananas. I'm thankful for so much more though.
I'm thankful for loving parents who take care of me and have raised me in a wonderful home.
I'm thankful for my sister Heidi, and the loving close friendship we share.
I'm thankful for my dear brother-in-law, Tim, who always makes me smile.
I'm thankful for my nephew Gustav, and his continued good health and constant learning.
I'm thankful for my extended families on both sides, and the fact that we are so close to each other and enjoy spending time with each other.
I'm thankful for a talented surgeon, a benign tumor, and continued recovery.
I'm thankful for a new diagnosis of celiac, and the possibilities of fewer migraines in my future!
I'm thankful for my many friends. They span the globe and have many interests, but I love spending time with each of them.
I'm thankful for a stable job in this unstable economic time.
I am blessed.
Tomorrow is a day devoted to counting our blessings. Mine are more numerous than what I can list here. The following Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. While I have many of my Christmas gifts already purchased and waiting to be wrapped, I know that there are many who will not be able to give gifts.
I happened to see this clip through another friend's blog.
I've written about my hatred of Santa on here before. I won't bore you again. I feel that the clip speaks for itself, and America's consumerism. As I was watching this clip though, my mind kept coming back to how fortunate I am. The church I attend here in Marion usually participates in Marion's version of the Angel Tree. This year our town is in crisis. In a town of 1800 the closings of businesses and layoffs in others has been felt drastically. Our food bank is nearly empty. Parents aren't concerned with giving their children presents for Christmas this year, they need food to put in their children's mouths. Instead of collecting presents for the children in Marion this year, we are all asked to donate to the food pantry.
While I am trying to stretch my dollars as far as they will go these days, I am no-where near where many families are. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, whether there will be anything to put in my mouth. My stomach does not groan with hunger pains.
Tomorrow I will be feasting with my loved ones. I am confident that the table will be packed with dishes, and that no one will be leaving hungry. We'll have seconds, thirds, and leftovers to take home. We'll laugh at each other, and with each other! :) We'll nap, we'll play. We will show our love for each other.
I'm still trying to figure out what all I can do to help those around me. So far I've got a shopping trip planned for purchasing items that food stamps won't cover (toiletries like deoderant, shampoo, etc...) and canned items. It isn't much, but it is a way I can contribute.
Happy Thanksgiving dear friends and family. May you enjoy the time with your loved ones tomorrow and over the weekend, and be thinking of those around you!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Gluten Free Lifestyle, Here I Come!
It's been a crash course. I'm glad I had some time off to recover from surgery, and also fill my brain with all the dos and don'ts. I've also visited the nearest health food store (thank you Prairie Harvest!) and Dillon's several times, and stocked up on gluten free baking mixes, flour mixes, and various other items for this new undertaking.
This past week I've tested out 2 mixes. I made Chebe cinnamon rolls, and Chebe pizza crust. So far my favorite bread mix is still from Pamela's products. Chebe (pronounced Cheebee) is a company from Brazil, and the main ingredient is manioc flour (from the yucca plant). The cinnamon roll mix was ok, but nothing fantastic. The problem for me lies in the fact that I come from a family of good bakers and I've been spoiled with good food. For anyone else, the cinnamon rolls would be ok, but not for me. I'm still searching... And it may just be something that I can't make from a mix and will have to figure out a flour blend for myself. The taste was ok, although not quite right...and the texture was what really got to me. As long as I call them something else in my mind, I can eat them...but I have to trick myself! :) I think the pizza crust will be ok. I haven't actually eaten any of it yet, instead I made 4 little personal sized crusts that I can quickly prepare and eat at different times. The crust mix had italian spices mixed in and smelled wonderful. If not, Pamela's Products will come to the rescue again!
I've ordered several books and cookbooks these last weeks. It seems that Bette Hagman is the go-to person for celiac cooking and baking. She's got several cookbooks on the market and is often referred to in other cookbooks. (She hails from Seattle--hey Abbe, do you have a hookup for me? :) ) One of her cookbooks, "The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Comfort Foods", even has a recipe for Swedish Pancakes! I thought that those were only comfort food for my sister and myself! Who knew the whole world considers them comfort food! :)
I'm including the Gluten Free baking mix that she has developed. That way I can access it whenever I travel.
Gluten Free Mix (can be exchanged cup for cup for wheat flour)
2 parts rice flour
2/3 part potato starch
1/3 part tapioca flour
Featherlight Rice Flour Mix (use for more delicate items like cakes, cookies, biscuits)
1 part rice flour
1 part tapioca flour
1 part cornstarch
1 tsp per cup potato flour (3 cups various flours=3 tsp. potato flour)
I'll keep updating all of you as I find new favorite recipes. I think I may have to make Swedish pancakes for supper tonight though!
This past week I've tested out 2 mixes. I made Chebe cinnamon rolls, and Chebe pizza crust. So far my favorite bread mix is still from Pamela's products. Chebe (pronounced Cheebee) is a company from Brazil, and the main ingredient is manioc flour (from the yucca plant). The cinnamon roll mix was ok, but nothing fantastic. The problem for me lies in the fact that I come from a family of good bakers and I've been spoiled with good food. For anyone else, the cinnamon rolls would be ok, but not for me. I'm still searching... And it may just be something that I can't make from a mix and will have to figure out a flour blend for myself. The taste was ok, although not quite right...and the texture was what really got to me. As long as I call them something else in my mind, I can eat them...but I have to trick myself! :) I think the pizza crust will be ok. I haven't actually eaten any of it yet, instead I made 4 little personal sized crusts that I can quickly prepare and eat at different times. The crust mix had italian spices mixed in and smelled wonderful. If not, Pamela's Products will come to the rescue again!
I've ordered several books and cookbooks these last weeks. It seems that Bette Hagman is the go-to person for celiac cooking and baking. She's got several cookbooks on the market and is often referred to in other cookbooks. (She hails from Seattle--hey Abbe, do you have a hookup for me? :) ) One of her cookbooks, "The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Comfort Foods", even has a recipe for Swedish Pancakes! I thought that those were only comfort food for my sister and myself! Who knew the whole world considers them comfort food! :)
I'm including the Gluten Free baking mix that she has developed. That way I can access it whenever I travel.
Gluten Free Mix (can be exchanged cup for cup for wheat flour)
2 parts rice flour
2/3 part potato starch
1/3 part tapioca flour
Featherlight Rice Flour Mix (use for more delicate items like cakes, cookies, biscuits)
1 part rice flour
1 part tapioca flour
1 part cornstarch
1 tsp per cup potato flour (3 cups various flours=3 tsp. potato flour)
I'll keep updating all of you as I find new favorite recipes. I think I may have to make Swedish pancakes for supper tonight though!
Monday, November 17, 2008
I'm beat
Today was my first day back to work after surgery. It was a hard day. I went home early, at 2:30 (which is my plan time) and I'll probably continue to do that this week until I get more of my energy back. The sad thing was that I was ready to be back home on the couch by 9:00 this morning.
My body continues to adjust. I'm not sure that I have the correct dosage of thyroid hormone as my skin is really dry--uncomfortably so. My next appointment is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My hormones are on a roller coaster while my body adjusts...I'm close to tears much of the day. People being nice to me make my cry, and the thoughtless things people say make me cry. In general, the tears are always ready to fall.
One of the children I have in class brought me a basket filled with candy and cookies....tears. Coworkers asking me how I am....tears. Co-teacher announcing my return in front of the entire school at assembly...tears. Staff thanksgiving dinner (where I could hardly eat anything except olives and carrot sticks)...tears. Coworkers checking on me throughout the day and urging me to go home...tears.
Most of those instances I was able to keep myself in check, wiping away the tears quickly and moving on. The one thing that I can't get over was said to me last week. The tears keep coming for this one because it really felt like my entire situation was trivialized. Whether because of lack of knowledge or a general lack of interest (or tact) I'm not sure, but I was told that I am not really badly gluten intolerant, that I should be able to try different gluten filled food if I want a taste, and that I'm not as sick as other celiacs the person knows. The reasoning behind this was that I don't have to run to the bathroom and vomit everytime I eat gluten. While I care for and respect those that suffer in this manner, or with IBS, I have to say that this comment hurt. Do my 10 years of daily migraines not count as suffering? Does the fact that 2 weeks ago I had major surgery (total thyroidectomy) not count? The gluten poisoned my system and attacked a major part of my body. If I don't stop eating gluten now, what will it attack next?
While I am upset over comments like this, as well as the idea that I have to totally change my diet, I'm also thankful that I've finally found some answers. In the week and half that I haven't eaten gluten, I haven't had a migraine! Have I finally found the answer? If so, I'm willing to eat Gluten free for the rest of my life!
I'm thankful for my friend, Diana. She's helping me sort through all the gluten free garbage out there, and find the good stuff! She's brought me food while I recovered, invited me to lectures (even before I was diagnosed!), loaned me magazines, and just provided me with someone I can talk to about all of this.
I'm thankful for my parents too, as they have volunteered (even Dad, the carb king!) to try different pastas and things while I search for things that are tasty. Mom and Dad came over last night for supper, and I think I may have convinced Dad that gluten free can be tasty too.
My body continues to adjust. I'm not sure that I have the correct dosage of thyroid hormone as my skin is really dry--uncomfortably so. My next appointment is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My hormones are on a roller coaster while my body adjusts...I'm close to tears much of the day. People being nice to me make my cry, and the thoughtless things people say make me cry. In general, the tears are always ready to fall.
One of the children I have in class brought me a basket filled with candy and cookies....tears. Coworkers asking me how I am....tears. Co-teacher announcing my return in front of the entire school at assembly...tears. Staff thanksgiving dinner (where I could hardly eat anything except olives and carrot sticks)...tears. Coworkers checking on me throughout the day and urging me to go home...tears.
Most of those instances I was able to keep myself in check, wiping away the tears quickly and moving on. The one thing that I can't get over was said to me last week. The tears keep coming for this one because it really felt like my entire situation was trivialized. Whether because of lack of knowledge or a general lack of interest (or tact) I'm not sure, but I was told that I am not really badly gluten intolerant, that I should be able to try different gluten filled food if I want a taste, and that I'm not as sick as other celiacs the person knows. The reasoning behind this was that I don't have to run to the bathroom and vomit everytime I eat gluten. While I care for and respect those that suffer in this manner, or with IBS, I have to say that this comment hurt. Do my 10 years of daily migraines not count as suffering? Does the fact that 2 weeks ago I had major surgery (total thyroidectomy) not count? The gluten poisoned my system and attacked a major part of my body. If I don't stop eating gluten now, what will it attack next?
While I am upset over comments like this, as well as the idea that I have to totally change my diet, I'm also thankful that I've finally found some answers. In the week and half that I haven't eaten gluten, I haven't had a migraine! Have I finally found the answer? If so, I'm willing to eat Gluten free for the rest of my life!
I'm thankful for my friend, Diana. She's helping me sort through all the gluten free garbage out there, and find the good stuff! She's brought me food while I recovered, invited me to lectures (even before I was diagnosed!), loaned me magazines, and just provided me with someone I can talk to about all of this.
I'm thankful for my parents too, as they have volunteered (even Dad, the carb king!) to try different pastas and things while I search for things that are tasty. Mom and Dad came over last night for supper, and I think I may have convinced Dad that gluten free can be tasty too.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
More Lab Results
This has been a full week for me! While I was home recuperating with Mom and Dad I got some other lab results back as well. About one month ago I took at test that was looking for gluten sensitivities. The lab company emailed me back and I test positive for celiac disease.
I've found a lot of research regarding migraines and gluten intolerance, and so originally this was why I wanted to get the testing done. Since then I've found a lot more research that indicates gluten intolerance and thyroid problem are linked. So, it seems that gluten has caused me numerous problems. As troublesome as it is right now, I'm excited about the possibilities of NO MORE MIGRAINES!!!
While this will involve an overhaul of my diet and lifestyle, I know I am more fortunate than others. I am a cook and baker, and I understand what goes into food. I will be better able to identify foods that will be problems for me and avoid them. Since I am familiar with the kitchen, I know that I will be able to come up with new ways of creating things I already love. I've discovered a wonderful company "Pamela's Products" that has a wonderful bread mix that can be made into loaves, pizza crust, foccacia, hamburger buns, bagels...etc... Actually everything I've tried from her company is wonderful--cake mixes, cookies, etc... Knowing that, I know that I will still be able to celebrate with my family and friends all the momentous occasions that life is full of. The thing I'm mourning the most right now is beer! I don't drink very often, but I do enjoy the flavors of the areas I visit when I travel. I'm sure I'll be fine though, and find suitable alternatives.
I've found a lot of research regarding migraines and gluten intolerance, and so originally this was why I wanted to get the testing done. Since then I've found a lot more research that indicates gluten intolerance and thyroid problem are linked. So, it seems that gluten has caused me numerous problems. As troublesome as it is right now, I'm excited about the possibilities of NO MORE MIGRAINES!!!
While this will involve an overhaul of my diet and lifestyle, I know I am more fortunate than others. I am a cook and baker, and I understand what goes into food. I will be better able to identify foods that will be problems for me and avoid them. Since I am familiar with the kitchen, I know that I will be able to come up with new ways of creating things I already love. I've discovered a wonderful company "Pamela's Products" that has a wonderful bread mix that can be made into loaves, pizza crust, foccacia, hamburger buns, bagels...etc... Actually everything I've tried from her company is wonderful--cake mixes, cookies, etc... Knowing that, I know that I will still be able to celebrate with my family and friends all the momentous occasions that life is full of. The thing I'm mourning the most right now is beer! I don't drink very often, but I do enjoy the flavors of the areas I visit when I travel. I'm sure I'll be fine though, and find suitable alternatives.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Recovery at Mom and Dad's
I apologize in advance for any incomplete sentences and misspellings...My eyes are very droopy and I'm ready to rest for awhile. The pain medication they have me on is some good stuff! :)
First, thank you to all of you for your prayers and well wishes. It was evident that there are many people out there who care for me, and I appreciate your love very much.
Monday morning I checked in to Newton Medical Center at 6:00. I was to have an incision on the right side of the neck, as this was where the larger part of the tumor was. The plan was that the larger portion of tumor would be taken out, as well as one lobe of the thyroid. The tumor would be tested to see whether it was malignant. If it did turn out to be malignant, Dr. Cranston planned on going back in later that day, or sometime today to get the rest of the thyroid and tumor. That was the plan, although it was not how the surgery actually went.
He did start on the right side, but once he got in there he found that the left lobe of the thyroid was full of nodules, and that there was no longer any healthy part of the thyroid. Since my thyroid levels have always come back within the "normal" range, or right on the edge of what is acceptable, I am very confused. Even though I have many of the symptoms of hypothyroidism; there have been some drs. that have inferred that it was all in my head. I know differently now. Dr. Cranston said that I had the worst case of thyroiditis that he had ever seen; and that he and the pathologist have spent plenty of time looking at my thyroid under the microscope in wonder. He took the left side of the thyroid as well. This means that I have a larger incision (it goes across the entire front of my neck), and has left me feeling a bit like what I would think the headless horseman to feel--like I could detach my head and carry it at my side. Dr. Cranston said that I would have had to have another surgery at a later date to take the left side of the thyroid, so he took it all at once.
The path report is still not back for the tumor. Dr. Cranston told me originally that we would know one way or another by Monday afternoon. This then turned into Tuesday morning, then Tuesday afternoon, and I was told today when I was being dismissed that he hopes to have it to me by tomorrow morning. The dr. said that he was taking "deeper cuts" of the tumor each time he was sending it off, which is leaving me feeling a bit unsettled. He did say that during the surgery he was able to check my lymph nodes, as well as the parathyroids, and that they seemed "clean". He feels that the tumor will most likely come back benign, but did say that I couldn't hold him to that if it turns out differently.
For those of you who don't know, the thyroid is a butterfly shaped gland in your neck. It is located where the Adam's apple is on a man. The thyroid is in charge of regulating metabolism, and the absorption of calcium, among many other things. Since I no longer have a thyroid, I will need to be on thyroid supplement for the rest of my life (I had already been on it for several years; although I will be switching to Armour now instead of taking the synthetic); as well as taking calcium supplements three times a day.
While there are still unknowns, I am feeling better about some things. One of the things I was most concerned about was whether my vocal chords would be harmed--a big risk for this surgery. This was very disturbing for me, since I am a teacher and make a living using my voice. Vocal music is also a large part of my life, and I was scared that I was going to have to give that up. As I was coming to I overheard a conversation between the surgeon and the anesthesiologist--there was very real concern that they had nicked my vocal chords, and were uncertain about whether I would be able to talk. While I haven't tried singing yet (and most likely won't be attempting that for awhile); I do know that I'm able to speak. It is very uncomfortable at this point, but I know that this will get better. I hope that my singing voice has been left intact as well.
I had very good care at Newton Medical Center, and I'm thankful for the people who took care of me over the past several days. They all took the time to answer questions, give me extra bag baths and hair washing, as well as try to make me comfortable in any way they could.
As well as the pain I feel at the incision area; my throat hurts anytime I swallow or cough. I also seem to be allergic to latex--something I only recently found out. My entire body itches, and I've got rashes in all the areas that had tape or dressings that were latex. I'm hopeful that this will go away in the next few days.
I return to see Dr. Cranston on Friday to see whether he can remove the sutures.
Okay, it's time for me to drift off. Thank you again to all of you!
Love,
Erica
First, thank you to all of you for your prayers and well wishes. It was evident that there are many people out there who care for me, and I appreciate your love very much.
Monday morning I checked in to Newton Medical Center at 6:00. I was to have an incision on the right side of the neck, as this was where the larger part of the tumor was. The plan was that the larger portion of tumor would be taken out, as well as one lobe of the thyroid. The tumor would be tested to see whether it was malignant. If it did turn out to be malignant, Dr. Cranston planned on going back in later that day, or sometime today to get the rest of the thyroid and tumor. That was the plan, although it was not how the surgery actually went.
He did start on the right side, but once he got in there he found that the left lobe of the thyroid was full of nodules, and that there was no longer any healthy part of the thyroid. Since my thyroid levels have always come back within the "normal" range, or right on the edge of what is acceptable, I am very confused. Even though I have many of the symptoms of hypothyroidism; there have been some drs. that have inferred that it was all in my head. I know differently now. Dr. Cranston said that I had the worst case of thyroiditis that he had ever seen; and that he and the pathologist have spent plenty of time looking at my thyroid under the microscope in wonder. He took the left side of the thyroid as well. This means that I have a larger incision (it goes across the entire front of my neck), and has left me feeling a bit like what I would think the headless horseman to feel--like I could detach my head and carry it at my side. Dr. Cranston said that I would have had to have another surgery at a later date to take the left side of the thyroid, so he took it all at once.
The path report is still not back for the tumor. Dr. Cranston told me originally that we would know one way or another by Monday afternoon. This then turned into Tuesday morning, then Tuesday afternoon, and I was told today when I was being dismissed that he hopes to have it to me by tomorrow morning. The dr. said that he was taking "deeper cuts" of the tumor each time he was sending it off, which is leaving me feeling a bit unsettled. He did say that during the surgery he was able to check my lymph nodes, as well as the parathyroids, and that they seemed "clean". He feels that the tumor will most likely come back benign, but did say that I couldn't hold him to that if it turns out differently.
For those of you who don't know, the thyroid is a butterfly shaped gland in your neck. It is located where the Adam's apple is on a man. The thyroid is in charge of regulating metabolism, and the absorption of calcium, among many other things. Since I no longer have a thyroid, I will need to be on thyroid supplement for the rest of my life (I had already been on it for several years; although I will be switching to Armour now instead of taking the synthetic); as well as taking calcium supplements three times a day.
While there are still unknowns, I am feeling better about some things. One of the things I was most concerned about was whether my vocal chords would be harmed--a big risk for this surgery. This was very disturbing for me, since I am a teacher and make a living using my voice. Vocal music is also a large part of my life, and I was scared that I was going to have to give that up. As I was coming to I overheard a conversation between the surgeon and the anesthesiologist--there was very real concern that they had nicked my vocal chords, and were uncertain about whether I would be able to talk. While I haven't tried singing yet (and most likely won't be attempting that for awhile); I do know that I'm able to speak. It is very uncomfortable at this point, but I know that this will get better. I hope that my singing voice has been left intact as well.
I had very good care at Newton Medical Center, and I'm thankful for the people who took care of me over the past several days. They all took the time to answer questions, give me extra bag baths and hair washing, as well as try to make me comfortable in any way they could.
As well as the pain I feel at the incision area; my throat hurts anytime I swallow or cough. I also seem to be allergic to latex--something I only recently found out. My entire body itches, and I've got rashes in all the areas that had tape or dressings that were latex. I'm hopeful that this will go away in the next few days.
I return to see Dr. Cranston on Friday to see whether he can remove the sutures.
Okay, it's time for me to drift off. Thank you again to all of you!
Love,
Erica
Monday, October 20, 2008
Fall has come!
This past week I spent 5 days in Minnesota. I just arrived home last night to find the air with a chill in it, and crunchy leaves strewn on my lawn. It is feeling like fall, my favorite time of year. When we left Kansas last Wednesday morning, the leaves had just begun to turn shades of yellow, red, orange and brown. On the ride back from Minnesota yesterday though, it seemed like we saw them changing before our eyes. It was beautiful!
The conference I attended was called "Closing the Gap" and was about assistive technology. I am one of the assistive technology coordinators for our special education cooperative, and this was a chance for me to learn more about what my role is. There are 5 of us on the AT team, some of whom have been on the team for several years, and 2 that have joined us as of this summer. This was one of the first things we did together as a team, and we used the chance to get to know each other. Of course, 9 hours in the car can be quite the bonding experience, especially when 3 of the 5 are prone to car sickness. All in all it was a great trip. I was able to attend many very good workshops, plus talk to vendors about products that are currently on the market. I feel like I learned a lot of new things, and came away with many ideas of how to make what I'm already doing even better!
Workshop sessions started at 8 each morning, and ran until 5:00 each evening. Each session was an hour, with 1/2 hour in between to account for getting to and from each session (sessions were split between two hotels that were across the street from each other).
We stayed in a very nice hotel (Hotel Sofitel http://www.sofitel.com/gb/hotel-0539-sofitel-minneapolis/index.shtml) and our rooms were amazing! It was culture shock for some of our group. The Sofitel is French owned and operated, so everyone spoke with an accent. Comfortable beds, with down duvet comforters, turn down service, etc... :) There was a nice European bakery in the hotel, so I was able to have good pastry for breakfast that tasted as it should!
In the evenings we went to the Mall of America for dinner, and activities. We ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp (think Forest Gump), Rainforest Cafe, and Kokomo's (Jamacian tiki bar theme). We had wonderful food everyday, and it will be hard to go back to the "regular" food I eat! Activities were shopping, the great amusement park that is inside (awesome roller coaster!), and a movie (The Duchess). I was able to shop for some of the birthday and Christmas presents I'll need, and I hit the sale racks for clothing. I was able to go to my favorite shop H&M, something I usually can only do when I'm in Europe!
I had a great time at the conference, but I was eager to get home and in my own house.
I'm including the link to my class's blog. (http://deeperdigging.blogspot.com) We're just starting to use it in our classroom. Please check back often to see my student's work. Check out the Voki on the right side--press play and hear my message! My student's would love it if you responded about their work occasionally. Comments will be moderated, so don't be surprised if the comment doesn't show up right away. I want to make sure it is appropriate before I let my students see it!
The conference I attended was called "Closing the Gap" and was about assistive technology. I am one of the assistive technology coordinators for our special education cooperative, and this was a chance for me to learn more about what my role is. There are 5 of us on the AT team, some of whom have been on the team for several years, and 2 that have joined us as of this summer. This was one of the first things we did together as a team, and we used the chance to get to know each other. Of course, 9 hours in the car can be quite the bonding experience, especially when 3 of the 5 are prone to car sickness. All in all it was a great trip. I was able to attend many very good workshops, plus talk to vendors about products that are currently on the market. I feel like I learned a lot of new things, and came away with many ideas of how to make what I'm already doing even better!
Workshop sessions started at 8 each morning, and ran until 5:00 each evening. Each session was an hour, with 1/2 hour in between to account for getting to and from each session (sessions were split between two hotels that were across the street from each other).
We stayed in a very nice hotel (Hotel Sofitel http://www.sofitel.com/gb/hotel-0539-sofitel-minneapolis/index.shtml) and our rooms were amazing! It was culture shock for some of our group. The Sofitel is French owned and operated, so everyone spoke with an accent. Comfortable beds, with down duvet comforters, turn down service, etc... :) There was a nice European bakery in the hotel, so I was able to have good pastry for breakfast that tasted as it should!
In the evenings we went to the Mall of America for dinner, and activities. We ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp (think Forest Gump), Rainforest Cafe, and Kokomo's (Jamacian tiki bar theme). We had wonderful food everyday, and it will be hard to go back to the "regular" food I eat! Activities were shopping, the great amusement park that is inside (awesome roller coaster!), and a movie (The Duchess). I was able to shop for some of the birthday and Christmas presents I'll need, and I hit the sale racks for clothing. I was able to go to my favorite shop H&M, something I usually can only do when I'm in Europe!
I had a great time at the conference, but I was eager to get home and in my own house.
I'm including the link to my class's blog. (http://deeperdigging.blogspot.com) We're just starting to use it in our classroom. Please check back often to see my student's work. Check out the Voki on the right side--press play and hear my message! My student's would love it if you responded about their work occasionally. Comments will be moderated, so don't be surprised if the comment doesn't show up right away. I want to make sure it is appropriate before I let my students see it!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thank you!
Wow! What a week...it seemed to drag on forever! Even though it seemed so long, I have to express my thanks to all of you for your prayers and well-wishes. I was surprisingly very calm this week. Aside from a few tears last Tuesday after first talking to Dr. Cranston, I've been calm and composed. I am sure the prayers are a large part of that.
I met today with Dr. Cranston. The visit did not go as I anticipated, but who really knows what to expect when you're preparing for a visit. Dr. Cranston and I sat down to talk today about what my "options" are. He started the visit by just asking what I had to say, what I had researched, etc... I explained that I understood what the two options were (adenoma, and carcinoma), that from my reading I felt that I wanted to have the surgery, but that I had lots of questions for him. I spent the whole week researching thyroid tumors and cancer, and felt I was well prepared for my visit with him. Dr. Cranston did not really tell me anything I hadn't already read, but it was good to talk to someone in person about it, instead of just reading it. I was able to tell what I knew, and see if I truly understood what was going on. Sometimes knowledge is the most helpful when fighting your fears!
We talked a lot about the possibility of this being cancer, and the fact that we wouldn't know one way or another until the surgery happens. From talking to Dr. Cranston today, he really didn't talk at all about me NOT having surgery, so I feel like I'm making the right choice, one that he would make for himself. As it is right now, I'll have surgery Nov. 3, and will stay 2 days in the hospital. I'll be off work for at least a week, and it could be more depending on how I'm feeling. The larger part of the tumor is on the right side of my thyroid, and Dr. Cranston will take one lobe of the thyroid during the surgery. Tests will be run, and depending on what is found, I may be taken back to surgery the same day or the next day to take out more tumor/thyroid tissue. If it is cancer, I get to look forward to drinking a radioactive cocktail that will hopefully kill the rest of it.
I'm feeling good about the whole thing--like I know what is going on, and what to expect. There are some risks to surgery, but I'm going to trust that Dr. Cranston knows what he is doing.
I would appreciate your continued prayers, but I really just wanted to say THANK YOU. I have definitely felt God's peace this week. I'll keep you updated as I know more.
I met today with Dr. Cranston. The visit did not go as I anticipated, but who really knows what to expect when you're preparing for a visit. Dr. Cranston and I sat down to talk today about what my "options" are. He started the visit by just asking what I had to say, what I had researched, etc... I explained that I understood what the two options were (adenoma, and carcinoma), that from my reading I felt that I wanted to have the surgery, but that I had lots of questions for him. I spent the whole week researching thyroid tumors and cancer, and felt I was well prepared for my visit with him. Dr. Cranston did not really tell me anything I hadn't already read, but it was good to talk to someone in person about it, instead of just reading it. I was able to tell what I knew, and see if I truly understood what was going on. Sometimes knowledge is the most helpful when fighting your fears!
We talked a lot about the possibility of this being cancer, and the fact that we wouldn't know one way or another until the surgery happens. From talking to Dr. Cranston today, he really didn't talk at all about me NOT having surgery, so I feel like I'm making the right choice, one that he would make for himself. As it is right now, I'll have surgery Nov. 3, and will stay 2 days in the hospital. I'll be off work for at least a week, and it could be more depending on how I'm feeling. The larger part of the tumor is on the right side of my thyroid, and Dr. Cranston will take one lobe of the thyroid during the surgery. Tests will be run, and depending on what is found, I may be taken back to surgery the same day or the next day to take out more tumor/thyroid tissue. If it is cancer, I get to look forward to drinking a radioactive cocktail that will hopefully kill the rest of it.
I'm feeling good about the whole thing--like I know what is going on, and what to expect. There are some risks to surgery, but I'm going to trust that Dr. Cranston knows what he is doing.
I would appreciate your continued prayers, but I really just wanted to say THANK YOU. I have definitely felt God's peace this week. I'll keep you updated as I know more.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Prayers would be appreciated
Last year about Thanksgiving time I wasn't feeling myself--nothing really bad, but just not like myself. I felt stupid for even complaining about it, but went to the doctor anyway. During the course of the visit, we found a lump on my thyroid. I was referred to a specialist for further evaluation. The specialist (Dr. Cranston) diagnosed me with a multi nodular goiter, and increased my thyroid medication, to make up for the lack of thyroid hormone I was naturally producing. At that time the dr. did a biopsy, which came back with no cancerous cells.
I have gone back several times since then, as it is important to keep the thyroid level within certain amounts. My last visit was this last Thursday. I anticipated that it would be much like my other visits. Checked in, asked how I'm feeling, quick sonogram of the goiter, blood testing, and I'm on my way... This time was different. The goiter had changed size. Dr. Cranston took another biopsy, had me do the blood work, and then told me he'd let me know what the results were.
I've been waiting for the results all week. I called yesterday to see whether the results were back, and I ended up talking to his nurse. She told me after looking at the pathology report that the cells didn't look the way they should, but that the dr. would need to talk to me about it. She left him a note to call me. Needless to say, I was unnerved...but I told myself that I shouldn't get too worried without talking to the dr. The nurse told me that the dr. had a full schedule of patients that afternoon, that he was still in surgery, but that I could expect a call from him yesterday evening. If I did not hear from him by 11:30 this morning, I was supposed to call back. Dr. Cranston did not call me last night, nor did he call me by 11:30 this morning. At lunch time I called the dr.'s office to see what was going on. Again, he had a full load of patients, but he would call me later in the afternoon.
After another phone call on my part in the afternoon, the dr. finally called me back this evening. My thyroid levels are normal, but the cells from the biopsy are not. He wasn't able to go into anything in detail this evening, except to say that the tumor is either a follicular adenoma or follicular carcinoma. From what I've been able to research so far an adenoma is a benign tumor, while carcinoma is cancer. Dr. Cranston said that it would be up to me as to whether we would take it out, but did say that the only way to know which it was for sure was to do surgery and take it all out. He wants to meet with me and talk about it more in depth and in person instead of over the phone, so I will be going this coming Thursday for another appointment to talk about my options. Until then I'll be doing some reading, so that I can go into the meeting feeling prepared and armed with good questions.
Tonight I've swung between feelings of extreme calm and peace, level headed and prepared for whatever may come, to tears and fear of the unknown. I swing from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes, depending on who I'm talking to or what I'm thinking about.
Tomorrow I head to school and a "normal" day. I'm going to try to act as if everything is ok, not only for my own sanity, but because my kids are very good at reading emotions and then being affected by the adults in their day. I'm going to try to be very calm for the rest of the week, and concentrate on knowing as much as I can before the next time I see Dr. Cranston. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go about the next week, I'm sure I will need them.
I have gone back several times since then, as it is important to keep the thyroid level within certain amounts. My last visit was this last Thursday. I anticipated that it would be much like my other visits. Checked in, asked how I'm feeling, quick sonogram of the goiter, blood testing, and I'm on my way... This time was different. The goiter had changed size. Dr. Cranston took another biopsy, had me do the blood work, and then told me he'd let me know what the results were.
I've been waiting for the results all week. I called yesterday to see whether the results were back, and I ended up talking to his nurse. She told me after looking at the pathology report that the cells didn't look the way they should, but that the dr. would need to talk to me about it. She left him a note to call me. Needless to say, I was unnerved...but I told myself that I shouldn't get too worried without talking to the dr. The nurse told me that the dr. had a full schedule of patients that afternoon, that he was still in surgery, but that I could expect a call from him yesterday evening. If I did not hear from him by 11:30 this morning, I was supposed to call back. Dr. Cranston did not call me last night, nor did he call me by 11:30 this morning. At lunch time I called the dr.'s office to see what was going on. Again, he had a full load of patients, but he would call me later in the afternoon.
After another phone call on my part in the afternoon, the dr. finally called me back this evening. My thyroid levels are normal, but the cells from the biopsy are not. He wasn't able to go into anything in detail this evening, except to say that the tumor is either a follicular adenoma or follicular carcinoma. From what I've been able to research so far an adenoma is a benign tumor, while carcinoma is cancer. Dr. Cranston said that it would be up to me as to whether we would take it out, but did say that the only way to know which it was for sure was to do surgery and take it all out. He wants to meet with me and talk about it more in depth and in person instead of over the phone, so I will be going this coming Thursday for another appointment to talk about my options. Until then I'll be doing some reading, so that I can go into the meeting feeling prepared and armed with good questions.
Tonight I've swung between feelings of extreme calm and peace, level headed and prepared for whatever may come, to tears and fear of the unknown. I swing from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes, depending on who I'm talking to or what I'm thinking about.
Tomorrow I head to school and a "normal" day. I'm going to try to act as if everything is ok, not only for my own sanity, but because my kids are very good at reading emotions and then being affected by the adults in their day. I'm going to try to be very calm for the rest of the week, and concentrate on knowing as much as I can before the next time I see Dr. Cranston. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go about the next week, I'm sure I will need them.
Monday, September 08, 2008
Welcome to the World
Announcing the birth of
Elijah James Hoelscher
September 6, 2008
Proud parents are: Becca and Micah Hoelscher
Becca was one of my roomies in college! Can't wait to see my new "nephew"!
Elijah James Hoelscher
September 6, 2008
Proud parents are: Becca and Micah Hoelscher
Becca was one of my roomies in college! Can't wait to see my new "nephew"!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hello everyone!
Saturday we enjoyed a beautiful evening at the reservoir. Ruth and the kids joined Mom, Dad and me for an evening of food and swimming. We grilled Hillsboro sausage, ate fresh veggies and dip, enjoyed several salads and of course yummy smores. After dinner the kids and I went swimming, the water was cool because we were in the shade by that point, but we had a good time playing Monkey in the Middle and just swimming around.
Mint and Feta Lentil Salad
1 cup lentils
3 bay leaves
4 cloves garlic
1/4 to 1/2 tsp. oregano
1 red onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
5 TBSP chopped mint (I used dried)
salt and pepper to taste
6 oz. Feta cheese
Marinade
6 TBSP olive oil
6 TBSP red wine vinegar
2 TBSP lime juice
1/2 to 1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. minced garlic
Rinse lentils. Cover lentils with water with several inches extra. Put in bay leaves, garlic and oregano, and boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes, until lentils are tender. Drain and cool.
Whisk together the marinade/dressing, and add salt and pepper. Add the veggies and dressing to the lentils and let it marinate before serving. Add mint and feta right before serving.
Sunday the Buller siblings sat in Arlin and Maretta's basement to divide out some of the boxes left over from moving Grandma. I went as well, and enjoyed listening to their stories and their laughter together. I am so thankful to be part of 2 large families that love to be together. Not very many are as fortunate as I.
We've had some spectacular sunsets in my area of KS recently. Sunsets are one of my favorite ways of remembering God and his love for us. I've been reading the book "The Shack" these past weeks. It is a book that has been difficult for me to get through (although this is not most people's experience with the book). While at times I have forced myself to keep turning the pages, I do like the fact that the book questions what we feel we "know" about God. While we "know" that God is neither male nor female, most of the people I went to school with only see God as a male figure, and when we talked about God as a mother in Bible class, reacted with a feeling close to revulsion. In the book "The Shack" God appears as an African American woman, speaking in incomplete sentences, and dishing up collard greens. I've never understood my classmate's reactions in that Bible class, whether they were more familiar with a vengeful God, whether it was a battle over the sex of God, etc... For myself, I delight in the idea that God escapes our ability for exact descriptions. My own imagination has several versions of what God looks like, but my favorite closely resembles the grandfather figure in my favorite children's book "Grandfather Twilight", by Barbara Berger. The book has beautiful soft pictures, and its a wonderful 'good-night' book before bed. The story shows Grandfather Twilight as he walks through the darkened forest each evening to welcome the night with his gift to the darkness, the moon. The recent sunsets have had me turning the pages to this book many times in the past weeks. Each time I look at it I smile, and find peace in the knowledge I have a loving mother, father, friend, and protector...May you have that same peace.
Good night!
Mint and Feta Lentil Salad
1 cup lentils
3 bay leaves
4 cloves garlic
1/4 to 1/2 tsp. oregano
1 red onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
5 TBSP chopped mint (I used dried)
salt and pepper to taste
6 oz. Feta cheese
Marinade
6 TBSP olive oil
6 TBSP red wine vinegar
2 TBSP lime juice
1/2 to 1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. minced garlic
Rinse lentils. Cover lentils with water with several inches extra. Put in bay leaves, garlic and oregano, and boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes, until lentils are tender. Drain and cool.
Whisk together the marinade/dressing, and add salt and pepper. Add the veggies and dressing to the lentils and let it marinate before serving. Add mint and feta right before serving.
Sunday the Buller siblings sat in Arlin and Maretta's basement to divide out some of the boxes left over from moving Grandma. I went as well, and enjoyed listening to their stories and their laughter together. I am so thankful to be part of 2 large families that love to be together. Not very many are as fortunate as I.
We've had some spectacular sunsets in my area of KS recently. Sunsets are one of my favorite ways of remembering God and his love for us. I've been reading the book "The Shack" these past weeks. It is a book that has been difficult for me to get through (although this is not most people's experience with the book). While at times I have forced myself to keep turning the pages, I do like the fact that the book questions what we feel we "know" about God. While we "know" that God is neither male nor female, most of the people I went to school with only see God as a male figure, and when we talked about God as a mother in Bible class, reacted with a feeling close to revulsion. In the book "The Shack" God appears as an African American woman, speaking in incomplete sentences, and dishing up collard greens. I've never understood my classmate's reactions in that Bible class, whether they were more familiar with a vengeful God, whether it was a battle over the sex of God, etc... For myself, I delight in the idea that God escapes our ability for exact descriptions. My own imagination has several versions of what God looks like, but my favorite closely resembles the grandfather figure in my favorite children's book "Grandfather Twilight", by Barbara Berger. The book has beautiful soft pictures, and its a wonderful 'good-night' book before bed. The story shows Grandfather Twilight as he walks through the darkened forest each evening to welcome the night with his gift to the darkness, the moon. The recent sunsets have had me turning the pages to this book many times in the past weeks. Each time I look at it I smile, and find peace in the knowledge I have a loving mother, father, friend, and protector...May you have that same peace.
Good night!
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