English Language=A Big, Fat, Red F

In college, when studying to become a teacher, it was discussed that we should avoid using red pens and pencils when we finally had our own classrooms and papers to grade. I think the theory was that the color red would strike more fear in the hearts of our young students than they could take. I'm not sure why grading in bright purple or green makes such a difference to the fragile psyche of a student, after all, an error is an error...but, never-the-less, I took the conversation to heart, and I now grade in a multitude of colors....which leads to the title of this blog.

I've recently had several instances in which I've found the English language, as I know it at least, to be seriously lacking--in fact, I would give it a big, fat, red F. I've found that the language that I have grown up speaking and reading is incomplete. What adds to my dismay is the fact that I feel that I have a pretty good grasp of vocabulary, frequently having to "dumb down" my conversations with those around me... I don't feel that it is my lack of exposure to words that is creating the problem...I simply don't think there are enough words to express what needs to be said.

For instance, a friend of mine recently lost his grandfather. How does one express the sorrow, the sadness, which a compassionate friend feels, without reverting to the hollow and trite sounding statements of "I'm so sorry for your loss." I'm not saying that I don't feel the sorrow, or recognize the sadness the person must surely be feeling... In fact, I am sorry! But, how does a person put that feeling into words, without sounding like every other person who wants to offer comfort? There are no words, at least none that I know, that can encompass what needs to be said. SIDE NOTE: In saying that, I also realize that the fact that I'm even making an effort means something to the person I'm talking to, and that I shouldn't have to say anything other than an "I'm sorry..." but, what is my feeling sorry for them going to accomplish? How is my sorrow for the situation going to end up helping them process their grief? It won't!

Or...

This past week I had my annual physical exam with my primary care physician. After years and years of doctor visits for my migraines and no answers, I finally just stopped going, except for these yearly general checkups. During the course of the numerous doctor visits, I many times felt that there weren't enough words to describe pain. You have the general terms of "hurt", "ache", "shooting"...but nothing that could definitively describe what I was feeling. Instead, I learned a completely different language. I'm now familiar with all manner of explanations for what might be happening in my head (cluster migraines, rebound headaches, pseudo tumor cerebri, tumor, cancer—who the hell knows?). I have found though, that if I use the terms I now know, I'm not taken seriously. I'm instead looked upon as a patient that knows too much about their condition, and therefore can't be trusted, or even a “drug seeker” (although I always try to make it very clear that I’m not interested in being their lab rat for the latest drug therapy and that I'd rather not be on any drugs at all, thank you very much!). Can I ever win? Thankfully, my primary care physician is wonderful! She spent over an hour with me conducting the exam and then answering all of my questions. She has decided to refer me to another neurologist, and I’m dreading starting the cycle again. Endless rounds of questions, that all have the same answers, and will lead to the same conclusion—no one knows what is going on!

One would think that since we speak a language that is made up of other languages, that we would have enough words…Either we need to start stealing a few more words from others, or we need to start making some up! That would be FANTABULOUS! :)