So it’s been several weeks, err…maybe even months…, since my last post. During that time I’ve crammed as much in as possible, and it feels like I need to stop to catch my breath and recover before I head back to school.
My last post talked about how I was leaving the country to spend some time with Heidi, Tim and Gustav. I had a wonderful trip, and loved the time we spent together. I started the trip by travelling to Frankfurt, Germany and staying with them while they finished up the last week of work. Gustav and I had some good one-on-one bonding time while Tim and Heidi put in their last hours at their respective jobs. One of my favorite times of the entire trip was the Farewell Party that Heidi and Tim threw for themselves (odd custom, if you ask me…). It was a wonderful time of fellowship with good friends—sad goodbyes and happy stories were shared. A highlight for me was seeing our former exchange student, Eliane, and spending time with her and another friend in the kitchen. One of our good friends, Kristin, flew in from the Canary Islands to surprise them. While it provided some additional stress for Heidi beforehand (she knew there would be a visitor, but didn’t know WHO), once she saw Kristin, I think all that stress evaporated and she had a great time enjoying the time we could spend together. Heidi, Gustav, Kristin and I all spent time baking “American” treats like cinnamon rolls, and caramel popcorn, and there was plenty of time spent gabbing and telling stories. We spent the last day packing up their belongings and figuring out how they would fit in the vehicle we had rented. We then headed to Hamburg and an overnight visit with our dear friends Reinhold and Gertraud Mesterharm. It had been several years since I had seen them, and it was good to spend a supper catching up with them. Hopefully I will be able to see them again, and much sooner than the many years that have passed between my visits. After Hamburg we headed through Denmark with Sweden as our destination. We had a wonderful drive—rainy until we hit the border of Denmark and Germany and then the sun broke through. It was a beautiful drive, and plenty of country that I had never seen before. We were eager to arrive at our cousin’s house in Vimmerby, Sweden. We had a wonderful visit with Lund’s, spending time at their home relaxing, visiting Pippi Longstocking World, area shops, a fish smoker along the coast,a day spent at a family cottage eating, laughing and playing and wading in a beautiful lake in the evening. Our time in Vimmerby passed much too quickly, and I’m looking forward to a time I can go back again. We left Vimmerby and headed to Stockholm for several days sightseeing there before returning home to Kansas. Favorite spot in Stockholm has to be the Vasa museum, and it was nice to be able to go back and visit again when I’m a bit older and maybe more attentive? I also enjoyed visiting the marketplace and just soaking up the culture and people.
We returned the rental car (and had to deal with 2 parking tickets we had received along the way), and then started the battle with plane tickets and luggage. I’m glad we got their early and were at the beginning of the line. Many plane rides later, we finally arrived in Wichita and retrieved our luggage. The only thing that was missing was the stroller, and Tim made arrangements so that would be delivered the next day. We headed back to Hesston and much needed rest. The next day we spent relaxing and hosting a Welcome Back/4th of July party for the Buller and Huber relatives. I loved exposing Gustav to the fireworks—he had no fear and was very good at “helping” me. He especially loved throwing the little snappers and then stepping on them to make them pop. He still is trying to stamp things out when we play together…
Since getting back from my travels, I’ve been working at the massage clinic and spending lots of time with friends. I’ve been teaching summer school in the mornings (last week, this week, and next week) and then working in the afternoons at the clinic. Yesterday my cousin Carmen hosted a spa party, so I packed up my table and headed to Wichita. After teaching summer school in the morning, and then doing 6 massages in the afternoon, I was pooped by the time I got home. It was a good time, and I enjoyed catching up with people I hadn’t seen in awhile.
Last Friday, after I got done with summer school, I drove to Hesston and Mom, Dad and I piled into the car and headed to Denver. We stayed with Buller cousin Anthony and his wife Farrell, and attended Johnson cousin Eric and Anna’s wedding in Aurora. It was nice to see both sides of my family—and most importantly, family members I don’t normally see. Anthony and Farrell were wonderful hosts, and made us feel very welcome. On Sat. morning before the wedding, we headed to Boulder and some special shopping for me. We hit Whole Foods, and I found several new and exciting Gluten Free goodies. My biggest excitement is the GF bread by Udi’s. It toasts and holds together like real bread! The texture AND taste are great! We also went to a farmer’s market, and I bought several loaves of Aunt Kay’s breads—she makes wonderful breakfast breads like lemon poppyseed, chocolate zucchini, and cinnamon struesel coffee cake. Pricy, but worth every penny! Even my dad liked it, which means it really had to be good! We spent some time at a local lake, and then headed home to get ready for the wedding. In the evening we were hosted for a picnic like supper, and it was good to get to know Anna’s family, and interact with my own family members.
In other news, I went back to the doctor on Monday. She had ordered some more lab work, and so we talked about that. My thyroid level is being over-replaced, so we are going to alternated 2 different levels of the medication to see whether that makes it better. My prolactin level is also fluctuating, and the labwork wasn’t clear as to what that means. While some fluctuation of prolactin is normal, it depends on the day and activities, the fact that it is not within the normal limit on either of my last 2 labs means that something else could be going on. She has ordered an MRI of my pituitary gland, because there is a possibility that I have a tumor that is making the levels fluctuate. I’ll have that done next Tuesday, and then I’ll go back for another followup appointment on the 11th. If the tumor is what is going on, that could also explain the elevated DHEA levels, which means I may not have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome…. Who knows at this point what is going on. I am happy to know that I am finally in good hands and with someone who will help me get to the bottom of it.
After next week, I have about 2 “free” days (which are already filling up with appointments, and things “to-do”) before I start back to school and full-time responsibilities there. My summer has flown by…
I’ve been meaning to post pictures from the trip, but I think that will have to be a post unto itself.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'm leaving...on a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again...
Tomorrow morning, at 10:15 a.m., I'll be leaving to go and visit Heidi, Tim and Gustav. My bags are packed (at least for the most part, there are a few items still getting done in the laundry)...and I'm eager to spend some time with my loved ones.
I'm looking forward to the time we'll spend together. It will be a time for Heidi and Tim to say goodbye to their friends and coworkers, and so I anticipate some sadness. It has been 3 years, and they have made many close friendships. It will also be a time of great happiness (at least I hope!) as I know there are a few surprises planned. As much as Heidi loves to plan surprises, she isn't the best recipient of them... :) How I'm enjoying being on the other end of the surprise and watching her squirm!
I'll be spending some quality time with Gustav while Heidi and Tim finish up their jobs these coming weeks. I'm eager to get to know Gustav again, and spend some good time bonding with him. I haven't seen him since they were visiting at Spring Break time, over a year ago now. I'm hoping the weather cooperates, and we'll be able to do some time playing outdoors, and exploring Bammental together. I'm sure I'll be feeling as though I'm back in Munich and my nanny days...although I'll be a kid short now and won't have to do quite as much grocery shopping probably!
We're renting a car, and driving from Bammental to Hamburg, spending an evening with our dear friends, the Mesterharms, and then heading for Sweden. At this point, we're still uncertain as to what our route will be (and I'm getting a bit anxious about this, since I'm the primary driver) but I'm sure that between the 3 of us and the GPS we'll get there. The uncertainty lies in which ferries/bridges we'll be taking, and how long the trip will actually be. We'll be staying with relatives in Sweden for a few days, and then heading to Stockholm and a youth hostel for the final days before returning to the States on July 3rd. I'm looking forward to visiting the Vasa museum again, and looking for some more crystal to add to my collection.
For some of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you will remember that I invited all of you to my little house in Marion to celebrate "The Dirty 3rd in the Dirty South"--a celebration started many years ago by a group of bachelors that lived down the street that has since grown to gigantic proportions even though the bachelors have moved on--much partying and a fantastic fireworks show. Since I will be traveling home to the US on the 3rd, I will have to rescind my invitation for this year, although I'd be happy to have all of you next year on the 3rd of July at my house. I suppose you can still show up and use my driveway (as I'm sure plenty of other people will be, although please pick up your beer cans after yourself! ;) ) I just won't be able to be there to host and enjoy your company.
I'm looking forward to the time we'll spend together. It will be a time for Heidi and Tim to say goodbye to their friends and coworkers, and so I anticipate some sadness. It has been 3 years, and they have made many close friendships. It will also be a time of great happiness (at least I hope!) as I know there are a few surprises planned. As much as Heidi loves to plan surprises, she isn't the best recipient of them... :) How I'm enjoying being on the other end of the surprise and watching her squirm!
I'll be spending some quality time with Gustav while Heidi and Tim finish up their jobs these coming weeks. I'm eager to get to know Gustav again, and spend some good time bonding with him. I haven't seen him since they were visiting at Spring Break time, over a year ago now. I'm hoping the weather cooperates, and we'll be able to do some time playing outdoors, and exploring Bammental together. I'm sure I'll be feeling as though I'm back in Munich and my nanny days...although I'll be a kid short now and won't have to do quite as much grocery shopping probably!
We're renting a car, and driving from Bammental to Hamburg, spending an evening with our dear friends, the Mesterharms, and then heading for Sweden. At this point, we're still uncertain as to what our route will be (and I'm getting a bit anxious about this, since I'm the primary driver) but I'm sure that between the 3 of us and the GPS we'll get there. The uncertainty lies in which ferries/bridges we'll be taking, and how long the trip will actually be. We'll be staying with relatives in Sweden for a few days, and then heading to Stockholm and a youth hostel for the final days before returning to the States on July 3rd. I'm looking forward to visiting the Vasa museum again, and looking for some more crystal to add to my collection.
For some of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you will remember that I invited all of you to my little house in Marion to celebrate "The Dirty 3rd in the Dirty South"--a celebration started many years ago by a group of bachelors that lived down the street that has since grown to gigantic proportions even though the bachelors have moved on--much partying and a fantastic fireworks show. Since I will be traveling home to the US on the 3rd, I will have to rescind my invitation for this year, although I'd be happy to have all of you next year on the 3rd of July at my house. I suppose you can still show up and use my driveway (as I'm sure plenty of other people will be, although please pick up your beer cans after yourself! ;) ) I just won't be able to be there to host and enjoy your company.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Results
After several hours working for my parents today (I stained trim and closet doors, as well as did some painting in their guest room in preparation for putting wallpaper up in a few days) I went to a follow-up appointment with Dr. Herbel this afternoon.
Since the last time I wrote about all of this, I have tried to focus on the many other parts that my life consists of, in an attempt not to get as upset about it all. As today got closer and closer, it was harder for me not to think about it and let the worry creep in.
My doctor appointment today brought a few more answers, but also a new round of questions. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome still seems to be where we're heading for a diagnosis, but since it is a syndrome, instead of a disease, there is no test that says "yes, you have it" or "no, you don't". I have many of the symptoms, and the diagnosis "fits".
After the last visit, Dr. Herbel ordered another round of tests, plus a sonogram. The sonogram shows that I have cysts on both of my ovaries. And one of the lab tests shows that I have elevated prolactin levels. Elevated prolactin could indicate that my thyroid level is still not regulated as well as it should be (although, it is testing in the "normal" range right now), or it could mean that I have a tumor on my pituitary gland.
Dr. Herbel has adjusted my thyroid medication again, as well as prescribed two more medications to take. I'll be starting Metformin and Spironolactone in the coming days, and I'm hoping that these will help alleviate some of nasty symptoms I'm suffering from. I'll have more blood work in 7 weeks, and then go back for another appointment in 8 weeks.
I leave on the 15th to go to Germany to visit Heidi, Tim and Gustav. We'll be packing up their belongings, saying goodbyes, and then doing some traveling in Sweden. Some of these drugs have some side effects, and so I'm a little worried about it all. I'm sure that it will all end up being ok, and that I'm worrying for nothing... What I'm actually most worried about is being able to eat gluten free as much as possible while traveling. I've decided that all I can do is avoid what I can, and there may be times that it is unavoidable and I will eat gluten because there are no other options. I've also decided that there are a few things that I WILL eat while I'm there--like REAL pizza, wiener schnitzel, etc... I'll have to pack some extra migraine drugs...
Since the last time I wrote about all of this, I have tried to focus on the many other parts that my life consists of, in an attempt not to get as upset about it all. As today got closer and closer, it was harder for me not to think about it and let the worry creep in.
My doctor appointment today brought a few more answers, but also a new round of questions. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome still seems to be where we're heading for a diagnosis, but since it is a syndrome, instead of a disease, there is no test that says "yes, you have it" or "no, you don't". I have many of the symptoms, and the diagnosis "fits".
After the last visit, Dr. Herbel ordered another round of tests, plus a sonogram. The sonogram shows that I have cysts on both of my ovaries. And one of the lab tests shows that I have elevated prolactin levels. Elevated prolactin could indicate that my thyroid level is still not regulated as well as it should be (although, it is testing in the "normal" range right now), or it could mean that I have a tumor on my pituitary gland.
Dr. Herbel has adjusted my thyroid medication again, as well as prescribed two more medications to take. I'll be starting Metformin and Spironolactone in the coming days, and I'm hoping that these will help alleviate some of nasty symptoms I'm suffering from. I'll have more blood work in 7 weeks, and then go back for another appointment in 8 weeks.
I leave on the 15th to go to Germany to visit Heidi, Tim and Gustav. We'll be packing up their belongings, saying goodbyes, and then doing some traveling in Sweden. Some of these drugs have some side effects, and so I'm a little worried about it all. I'm sure that it will all end up being ok, and that I'm worrying for nothing... What I'm actually most worried about is being able to eat gluten free as much as possible while traveling. I've decided that all I can do is avoid what I can, and there may be times that it is unavoidable and I will eat gluten because there are no other options. I've also decided that there are a few things that I WILL eat while I'm there--like REAL pizza, wiener schnitzel, etc... I'll have to pack some extra migraine drugs...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Zwiebach
While surfing the net last night I stumbled across a new blog (Mennonite Girls Can Cook). I've got several blogs that I check consistently, and this will be added to the list. This blog is a group of several women who all contribute recipes and stories, and many of them keep of blogs of their own. What brought me to the site was a reference on another blog to a Verenika recipe that was posted. One of the contributors also has Celiac...and I'm eager to try her variations of traditional Mennonite recipes. When is the next time the Buller's are getting together for Verenika?!? I'm prepared now! :) Thanks Julie!
One of the things I've missed the most is eating bread at family gatherings. Grandma Buller was known far and wide for her baking (being a cook at the school helped with this, I'm sure!), and her speciality was zwiebach. We were always eager to fill up on her zwiebach whenever we gathered as a family. In the past years she hasn't been able to bake, and so I tried to fill her role... Because of my love of baking, at each family dinner I volunteer to bring the bread as my contribution. Even with my celiac diagnosis, I enjoy baking bread, and I continue to bring it whenever we get together.
Last night, after finding the new website, I eagerly shot off an email to Julie, the contributor that also has celiac. I hoped that she had tried to make zwiebach, and if so that she would be willing to share her recipe. This morning I awoke to her reply. She hasn't made zwiebach, but will soon post a recipe for rollkuchen.
As I had the day off today to celebrate Memorial Day, and since I had zwiebach on the brain, I decided to try my hand at making them gluten free. I used Grandma Buller's recipe, only cutting it in 1/2 and substituting Pamela's Products Bread Mix. While the texture isn't quite the same (not as light and fluffy as white bread flour would make them), they do taste good, especially with the homemade rhubarb jam I had in the pantry.
Gluten Free Zwiebach
1 1/4 cup milk, scalded
3 TB sugar
1 TB yeast (I just used the yeast packet in the bread mix)
6 T. melted shortening
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
4 cups Pamela's Bread Mix (one bag)
**Next time I will add some xantham gum to the mix to see if that helps with the elasticity.
One of the things I've missed the most is eating bread at family gatherings. Grandma Buller was known far and wide for her baking (being a cook at the school helped with this, I'm sure!), and her speciality was zwiebach. We were always eager to fill up on her zwiebach whenever we gathered as a family. In the past years she hasn't been able to bake, and so I tried to fill her role... Because of my love of baking, at each family dinner I volunteer to bring the bread as my contribution. Even with my celiac diagnosis, I enjoy baking bread, and I continue to bring it whenever we get together.
Last night, after finding the new website, I eagerly shot off an email to Julie, the contributor that also has celiac. I hoped that she had tried to make zwiebach, and if so that she would be willing to share her recipe. This morning I awoke to her reply. She hasn't made zwiebach, but will soon post a recipe for rollkuchen.
As I had the day off today to celebrate Memorial Day, and since I had zwiebach on the brain, I decided to try my hand at making them gluten free. I used Grandma Buller's recipe, only cutting it in 1/2 and substituting Pamela's Products Bread Mix. While the texture isn't quite the same (not as light and fluffy as white bread flour would make them), they do taste good, especially with the homemade rhubarb jam I had in the pantry.
Gluten Free Zwiebach
1 1/4 cup milk, scalded
3 TB sugar
1 TB yeast (I just used the yeast packet in the bread mix)
6 T. melted shortening
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
4 cups Pamela's Bread Mix (one bag)
**Next time I will add some xantham gum to the mix to see if that helps with the elasticity.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Black and White
or a whole 'lotta gray...
It's been a month since I last wrote... There are the normal excuses of work and responsibilities, and the fact that my life just isn't all that interesting...but the truth would be that it is mostly because I've been unsure of what to write.
This past year has been full of drama, or at least it has felt like that to me. The culmination of which was my surgery in November. I thought that with the removal of the mass that had grown intertwined with my vocal chords and with the news that the growth was non-cancerous; my life would get back to normal. Then came the news that some, if not all, of my health problems of the past years could be tied to that evil thing—gluten. It was with relief and a good amount of happiness (at least on most days) that I traded the gluten for being migraine free. I thought that with time and the proper amounts of medication my thyroid hormones would become more normal, and I would start to feel better.
Time has certainly passed, and with it my patience and understanding with the medical profession. I was still having nagging symptoms, things that “should” have been cleared up with my surgery and with the correct amounts of thyroid medication. Since I was getting no where and just getting more and more frustrated, I took it upon myself to seek a second opinion. I was finally able to get in to see the Endocrinologist 3 weeks ago.
With all the doctors I went to through the years for my migraines, I’ve become disillusioned with the medical profession. I know there are many doctors out there who care about their patients, and truly listen. I do know that because of insurance companies and legal requirements, many doctors are frustrated with their own profession and feel that their hands are tied and that they are unable to provide the care that their patients need. With all that being said, I’m afraid that I haven’t had the chance to meet many of those doctors, the ones that actually care about their patients. Instead my experiences have been more likely to include a few minutes of face time with a physician who doesn’t make eye contact, and a quickly written new prescription to try that will have horrible side effects. No attempt at listening or discovering what the root problem might be. One more patient in and out of the office… And I end up feeling like a lab rat, as my body struggles to adjust to everything I’m being asked to put into it.
It was with hope and more than a little fear that I made that appointment. To start the process over with a new doctor, reviewing my entire medical history and current complaints… How would the appointment go? Would I be brushed off…sent home with yet another prescription…or worse yet told that I was exaggerating my symptoms and that I should just learn to live with how I’m feeling…
I am so thankful to say that I’ve found one of those doctors that I’ve always known is out there, but have not had the opportunity to work with on many occasions. Dr. Herbel took the time to LISTEN to me… She took copious notes… She asked good questions, and asked me to describe what was actually happening and how I FELT… She cried when I cried… She EXPLAINED and answered all of my questions… She was not intimidated by the fact that I read about and try to understand what is happening in my body… She is AMAZING. At the end of it, the only things she had done was change me to Synthroid instead of generic (and she took the time to explain why no one should take generic thyroid medications), and ordered a full round of lab tests.
6 vials of blood and 3 weeks later, I’ve had my second appointment with her. Being the person I am, I took the time to read about the tests she ordered, and what the lab work could indicate. Sometimes it is better to be oblivious, and this may have been the case with this as well. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks thinking about the things I’ve read, and what might be happening in my body. Some of the things, frankly, have scared me. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t worry until I’ve talked with Dr. Herbel about it all and found out what the tests actually say.
I’m still operating in the gray area. I have to say that I am happy that I had read about the tests, as uneasy as it made me in the last weeks. If I hadn’t learned about them, I wouldn’t have been prepared with questions, and I think I would have been more upset with the news today. From what my lab work says (elevated DHEA-Sulfate level) Dr. Herbel thinks that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. She has ordered another round of lab work (I’ll do that tomorrow), as well as a sonogram (which will be Monday). With the symptoms I’ve got though, it is a good chance that this is my answer.
All of those thoughts that caused worry these past weeks have been going through my mind again as I drove home from Newton, and now as I sit and type. There are many things that I hope and dream for my future, and other things that I’ve put on hold until it is the right time in my life. With this diagnosis comes the reality that those things may not happen for me. Again, I was thankful that I had read about all this, and had come prepared with possible questions. Dr. Herbel calmly answered my queries, and I left with optimism that there is possible treatment to help with the symptoms, as well as hope for those dreams I’ve got.
It is another 3 weeks until I can go back to Dr. Herbel, and I’m anticipating that my gray space will become more black and white at that time. Until then, it will be a mad-dash to the end of school year. My life will be busy, and I’ll go about it as I usually do—trying to cram as much in as possible.
Much love to all of you!
Erica
It's been a month since I last wrote... There are the normal excuses of work and responsibilities, and the fact that my life just isn't all that interesting...but the truth would be that it is mostly because I've been unsure of what to write.
This past year has been full of drama, or at least it has felt like that to me. The culmination of which was my surgery in November. I thought that with the removal of the mass that had grown intertwined with my vocal chords and with the news that the growth was non-cancerous; my life would get back to normal. Then came the news that some, if not all, of my health problems of the past years could be tied to that evil thing—gluten. It was with relief and a good amount of happiness (at least on most days) that I traded the gluten for being migraine free. I thought that with time and the proper amounts of medication my thyroid hormones would become more normal, and I would start to feel better.
Time has certainly passed, and with it my patience and understanding with the medical profession. I was still having nagging symptoms, things that “should” have been cleared up with my surgery and with the correct amounts of thyroid medication. Since I was getting no where and just getting more and more frustrated, I took it upon myself to seek a second opinion. I was finally able to get in to see the Endocrinologist 3 weeks ago.
With all the doctors I went to through the years for my migraines, I’ve become disillusioned with the medical profession. I know there are many doctors out there who care about their patients, and truly listen. I do know that because of insurance companies and legal requirements, many doctors are frustrated with their own profession and feel that their hands are tied and that they are unable to provide the care that their patients need. With all that being said, I’m afraid that I haven’t had the chance to meet many of those doctors, the ones that actually care about their patients. Instead my experiences have been more likely to include a few minutes of face time with a physician who doesn’t make eye contact, and a quickly written new prescription to try that will have horrible side effects. No attempt at listening or discovering what the root problem might be. One more patient in and out of the office… And I end up feeling like a lab rat, as my body struggles to adjust to everything I’m being asked to put into it.
It was with hope and more than a little fear that I made that appointment. To start the process over with a new doctor, reviewing my entire medical history and current complaints… How would the appointment go? Would I be brushed off…sent home with yet another prescription…or worse yet told that I was exaggerating my symptoms and that I should just learn to live with how I’m feeling…
I am so thankful to say that I’ve found one of those doctors that I’ve always known is out there, but have not had the opportunity to work with on many occasions. Dr. Herbel took the time to LISTEN to me… She took copious notes… She asked good questions, and asked me to describe what was actually happening and how I FELT… She cried when I cried… She EXPLAINED and answered all of my questions… She was not intimidated by the fact that I read about and try to understand what is happening in my body… She is AMAZING. At the end of it, the only things she had done was change me to Synthroid instead of generic (and she took the time to explain why no one should take generic thyroid medications), and ordered a full round of lab tests.
6 vials of blood and 3 weeks later, I’ve had my second appointment with her. Being the person I am, I took the time to read about the tests she ordered, and what the lab work could indicate. Sometimes it is better to be oblivious, and this may have been the case with this as well. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks thinking about the things I’ve read, and what might be happening in my body. Some of the things, frankly, have scared me. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t worry until I’ve talked with Dr. Herbel about it all and found out what the tests actually say.
I’m still operating in the gray area. I have to say that I am happy that I had read about the tests, as uneasy as it made me in the last weeks. If I hadn’t learned about them, I wouldn’t have been prepared with questions, and I think I would have been more upset with the news today. From what my lab work says (elevated DHEA-Sulfate level) Dr. Herbel thinks that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. She has ordered another round of lab work (I’ll do that tomorrow), as well as a sonogram (which will be Monday). With the symptoms I’ve got though, it is a good chance that this is my answer.
All of those thoughts that caused worry these past weeks have been going through my mind again as I drove home from Newton, and now as I sit and type. There are many things that I hope and dream for my future, and other things that I’ve put on hold until it is the right time in my life. With this diagnosis comes the reality that those things may not happen for me. Again, I was thankful that I had read about all this, and had come prepared with possible questions. Dr. Herbel calmly answered my queries, and I left with optimism that there is possible treatment to help with the symptoms, as well as hope for those dreams I’ve got.
It is another 3 weeks until I can go back to Dr. Herbel, and I’m anticipating that my gray space will become more black and white at that time. Until then, it will be a mad-dash to the end of school year. My life will be busy, and I’ll go about it as I usually do—trying to cram as much in as possible.
Much love to all of you!
Erica
Monday, April 06, 2009
Recipes
As time goes by, I'm gradually changing my favorite recipes to accommodate my new diet. The truth is, as a single person, I don't have many occasions to cook and create my favorite meals, so this is taking longer than I would have thought. I'm including a couple of the recipes I've recently revamped so that when I go visit friends and family they'll have something to work with!
Swedish Pancakes (probably my number 1 comfort food!)
3/4 cup Featherlight mix
1 cup milk
3 eggs
melted butter
sugar
pinch salt
I like mine with more butter and powdered sugar sprinkled on top, or with berry syrup. Other family members prefer pancake syrup.
Cream of Chicken Soup Mix (one of the things I quickly discovered is that almost ALL canned soups have flour in them!)
2 cups dry milk
3/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup chicken bouillon (make sure this is Gluten Free--I use Herbox brand)
2 T. onion flakes
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. pepper
Mix 1/3 cup mix to 1 cup water. If you want more pronounced chicken flavor, use chicken broth in place of the water. 1/3 cup mix is equal to one can of cream of chicken soup. Add chopped mushrooms to make cream of mushroom soup. **This is much cheaper and lower in fat than the actual canned soup!
______________________________________________________
In other news, I'm still having trouble regulating my thyroid medication. I've become very frustrated with how my appointments have gone with Dr. Cranston, and the general lack of attention I'm getting while I'm feeling so crummy. The awful side effects continue, and I feel like I'm not getting any real attention or help with trying to figure out what to do. I've made an appointment with an Endocrinologist for April 15 (that is the soonest I can get in, and I made the appointment almost 2 weeks ago now!). I'm hopeful that she'll listen and help me find a good balance. I'm feeling worse now than I did before the surgery, if that tells you anything, and it's very frustrating feeling as though I have to fight the medical community in order to be heard and taken seriously.
This week my 4th graders are completing the reading and math state tests. It will be a full week, and we're all eager for Easter break. My body is getting very run down between working at the school, and at the massage clinic, as well as the other activities I'm responsible for and I definitely need some down time to recuperate. I'm looking forward to spending some time at my little home, but also seeing friends and family and celebrating Christ's resurrection.
Swedish Pancakes (probably my number 1 comfort food!)
3/4 cup Featherlight mix
1 cup milk
3 eggs
melted butter
sugar
pinch salt
I like mine with more butter and powdered sugar sprinkled on top, or with berry syrup. Other family members prefer pancake syrup.
Cream of Chicken Soup Mix (one of the things I quickly discovered is that almost ALL canned soups have flour in them!)
2 cups dry milk
3/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup chicken bouillon (make sure this is Gluten Free--I use Herbox brand)
2 T. onion flakes
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. pepper
Mix 1/3 cup mix to 1 cup water. If you want more pronounced chicken flavor, use chicken broth in place of the water. 1/3 cup mix is equal to one can of cream of chicken soup. Add chopped mushrooms to make cream of mushroom soup. **This is much cheaper and lower in fat than the actual canned soup!
______________________________________________________
In other news, I'm still having trouble regulating my thyroid medication. I've become very frustrated with how my appointments have gone with Dr. Cranston, and the general lack of attention I'm getting while I'm feeling so crummy. The awful side effects continue, and I feel like I'm not getting any real attention or help with trying to figure out what to do. I've made an appointment with an Endocrinologist for April 15 (that is the soonest I can get in, and I made the appointment almost 2 weeks ago now!). I'm hopeful that she'll listen and help me find a good balance. I'm feeling worse now than I did before the surgery, if that tells you anything, and it's very frustrating feeling as though I have to fight the medical community in order to be heard and taken seriously.
This week my 4th graders are completing the reading and math state tests. It will be a full week, and we're all eager for Easter break. My body is getting very run down between working at the school, and at the massage clinic, as well as the other activities I'm responsible for and I definitely need some down time to recuperate. I'm looking forward to spending some time at my little home, but also seeing friends and family and celebrating Christ's resurrection.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Drip, drop, drip, drop
The sun has come out, and is beginning to melt some of the snow that has accumulated since yesterday afternoon. The icicles on the sides of the house are releasing, and plummeting to the ground. The weather lately has been crazy--shorts and sandals weather earlier in the week, and turning to blizzard yesterday. We started with rain, and dropping temperatures, which turned to ice pellets yesterday afternoon, then ice pellets and snow, and then snow in the evening, throughout the night and into this morning. We did get dismissed from school at 1:15, so it has been nice to have a bit of extra time at home.
I was supposed to have 2 massage appointments this morning, but both were cancelled (of course only AFTER I had woken up early and gotten ready!). Instead, I've spent the day in my house, bumming around. I did go outside long enough to shovel the driveway (it felt like we had 12 feet of snow, but I'm pretty sure it may only be about 6-8 inches). The only part that isn't cleared now is the very end--and I'm just going to say 'no' to that...the wonderful city guys have created a mountain at the edge of my drive from clearing streets--I'm hopeful that it will melt soon. I also had to make a path to the rabbits this morning, as the back door was frozen shut from the rain, and drifted snow.
I've got a pile of laundry that needs to be folded, but instead I'm planning on sitting on the couch for awhile, posting this blog, and possibly starting a Netflix movie. There is always tomorrow (church has been cancelled), so the laundry can wait until then. Right now I've got a batch of meatballs baking in the oven, so the house is starting to smell really good. I'll include the recipe (maybe Heidi and Tim can make these for the hausgemeinschaft? It makes a BIG recipe!). This is adapted from a friend's recipe...I think I'll throw a potato in the oven too and have that too.
BBQ Meatballs
3 1/2 lbs hamburger
1 (13 oz) can Carnation milk
2 cups oats (Gluten free, please!!! Bob's Red Mill is the brand I used)
2 eggs
2 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. pepper
2 chopped onions
2 T. chili powder
Mix the above ingredients and shape into meatball shape (you could also bake as a meatloaf, or individual meat loaves in muffin tins) and put into a 9x13 pan. Bake in 350 degree oven for one hour. While they are baking, make the BBQ sauce. After 20-30 minutes pour off some of the grease in the pan, and then pour the BBQ sauce over. Try to bake them at least 30 minutes with the BBQ sauce on them so that they have good flavor. **These can be made ahead and frozen without the BBQ sauce. Then you'll need to bake them about 1 1/2 hours.
BBQ Sauce
2 cups catsup
1 t. garlic salt
1 onion, chopped
2 TBSP liquid smoke
2 cups brown sugar
Mix the sauce ingredients and bring to a boil. Pour over the meatballs after getting rid of some of the grease.
I was supposed to have 2 massage appointments this morning, but both were cancelled (of course only AFTER I had woken up early and gotten ready!). Instead, I've spent the day in my house, bumming around. I did go outside long enough to shovel the driveway (it felt like we had 12 feet of snow, but I'm pretty sure it may only be about 6-8 inches). The only part that isn't cleared now is the very end--and I'm just going to say 'no' to that...the wonderful city guys have created a mountain at the edge of my drive from clearing streets--I'm hopeful that it will melt soon. I also had to make a path to the rabbits this morning, as the back door was frozen shut from the rain, and drifted snow.
I've got a pile of laundry that needs to be folded, but instead I'm planning on sitting on the couch for awhile, posting this blog, and possibly starting a Netflix movie. There is always tomorrow (church has been cancelled), so the laundry can wait until then. Right now I've got a batch of meatballs baking in the oven, so the house is starting to smell really good. I'll include the recipe (maybe Heidi and Tim can make these for the hausgemeinschaft? It makes a BIG recipe!). This is adapted from a friend's recipe...I think I'll throw a potato in the oven too and have that too.
BBQ Meatballs
3 1/2 lbs hamburger
1 (13 oz) can Carnation milk
2 cups oats (Gluten free, please!!! Bob's Red Mill is the brand I used)
2 eggs
2 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. pepper
2 chopped onions
2 T. chili powder
Mix the above ingredients and shape into meatball shape (you could also bake as a meatloaf, or individual meat loaves in muffin tins) and put into a 9x13 pan. Bake in 350 degree oven for one hour. While they are baking, make the BBQ sauce. After 20-30 minutes pour off some of the grease in the pan, and then pour the BBQ sauce over. Try to bake them at least 30 minutes with the BBQ sauce on them so that they have good flavor. **These can be made ahead and frozen without the BBQ sauce. Then you'll need to bake them about 1 1/2 hours.
BBQ Sauce
2 cups catsup
1 t. garlic salt
1 onion, chopped
2 TBSP liquid smoke
2 cups brown sugar
Mix the sauce ingredients and bring to a boil. Pour over the meatballs after getting rid of some of the grease.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
...poisoning yourself, and hoping that your enemy will die...
While driving to Omaha last Friday for my cousin Craig’s wedding, I had the chance to dig out some of my CDs that I haven’t listened to lately. It isn’t often that I’m in one place long enough to truly listen to the words of songs, and think about how they relate to my own life. If you’ve read some of my earlier postings, I’m sure that you realize that I love music. The truth is that while it is a large part of my life, it is sometimes relegated to the background. While I need to have the constant music going, I really enjoy the times that I can sit down and LISTEN.
One of the CDs that I brought with me for the car ride was a CD that Jon, my brother-in-law’s brother, made for me. He ran the sound for the John McCutcheon concert at Mem Hall last year, and was kind enough to burn me a copy of the entire concert. John McCutcheon is one of my favorite folk artists—his songs and stories ring true for me. There were some very special moments in the concert, lots of good stories, and a large group of Mennonites singing 606. It was amazing!
One of the stories that he related that night was about his father-in-law and the wonderful relationship they have. Amid stories about all the good things his father-in-law had brought with him when he emigrated from Cuba, McCutcheon told this story.
“…Carlos is one of the wisest men I know, and the best story teller I’ve ever heard. And no matter what you come to him with, he always has some entertaining and often illuminating story to illustrate what he thinks. A few years back I came to him and told him that I’d had a falling out with an old and dear friend, and the parting was so acrimonious I was convinced we would never reconcile...”
In the conversation Carlos says “Hatred is a terrible thing…it is like poisoning yourself, and hoping that your enemy will die. But I understand the struggle that goes on between good and evil, and love and hatred in a man. All my life it is as though I’ve had two wolves inside of me and each of them are fighting for dominance of my spirit. One of the wolves is good, and lives in harmony with all around it…never takes offense when none is intended, and only fights when it is the last possible alternative and even then only in the proper way. Ah, but the other wolf is so consumed with his own anger and hatred that he will fight with anyone, over anything at anytime. And all my life it is as though these two have been warring within me.”
McCutcheon asks, “Carlito, which one wins?”
“Ah…the one I feed…”
At the time of the concert this song and story struck me, and going back this weekend and listening to it brought several incidences to the forefront of my mind. I’ve been struggling to come up with something to write about here (to my sister’s severe protestations!) and tonight as I thought about some things happening at work, the story and song came back to me.
There are times that I become very frustrated with individuals that I work with. Recently there has been one person who repeatedly presents me with times of frustration. This has been going on all year, and affects not only myself, but an entire team. While I’m frustrated with the situation, there is another individual that has been affected even more than me. This person is a good friend of mine, and as I’ve watched the entire thing play out, I have seen her struggle with how to handle the situation. Yesterday, she reached a breaking point, and it was hard for me to watch. She was frustrated, and in her frustration she spent a good amount of time venting. While I understand that this is what she needed (and honestly it is sometimes what I myself need!), I also reached a point where I realized that sitting around the table and hashing it all out was only making us more upset. At some point, the disgruntled comments have to turn into a plan. I am a fixer at heart, and I can’t stand seeing someone so upset about what is going on.
I spent a lot of time yesterday and today thinking and praying about how I might go about fixing the problem. The situation with our team is beyond repair, I feel. We will be able to make it through the rest of the school year (just barely), but a new plan must be made for next year. My question to myself then was what I should do…and the only thing that came to mind was talking to the director about the issue. I struggle with this because it feels like I’m jumping the chain of command and turning into a tattler. We have tried to mediate within the group, and the truth is that the situation has only gotten worse and tenser. Today I spent much of my “free” time gathering my thoughts, and deciding how to phrase things. I’ve written a letter to the director, and tried to be as fair as possible about the whole thing—attempting to present facts, and not just my opinions about what has gone on. I was tempted to send it this afternoon, but I realized that I needed to spend some more time in prayer. My prayer tonight is that when I send the email tomorrow with this letter, that I will be feeding the correct wolf. I am uncomfortable with discord, and in constant pursuit of creating peace for myself and those around me. I worry that this letter will create discomfort for us as individuals, and as a team; but as a friend reminded me tonight, peacemaking includes dialogue and a resolution to the situation. The only way that will happen is if we open the lines of communication, and involve someone other than ourselves in the situation.
One of the CDs that I brought with me for the car ride was a CD that Jon, my brother-in-law’s brother, made for me. He ran the sound for the John McCutcheon concert at Mem Hall last year, and was kind enough to burn me a copy of the entire concert. John McCutcheon is one of my favorite folk artists—his songs and stories ring true for me. There were some very special moments in the concert, lots of good stories, and a large group of Mennonites singing 606. It was amazing!
One of the stories that he related that night was about his father-in-law and the wonderful relationship they have. Amid stories about all the good things his father-in-law had brought with him when he emigrated from Cuba, McCutcheon told this story.
“…Carlos is one of the wisest men I know, and the best story teller I’ve ever heard. And no matter what you come to him with, he always has some entertaining and often illuminating story to illustrate what he thinks. A few years back I came to him and told him that I’d had a falling out with an old and dear friend, and the parting was so acrimonious I was convinced we would never reconcile...”
In the conversation Carlos says “Hatred is a terrible thing…it is like poisoning yourself, and hoping that your enemy will die. But I understand the struggle that goes on between good and evil, and love and hatred in a man. All my life it is as though I’ve had two wolves inside of me and each of them are fighting for dominance of my spirit. One of the wolves is good, and lives in harmony with all around it…never takes offense when none is intended, and only fights when it is the last possible alternative and even then only in the proper way. Ah, but the other wolf is so consumed with his own anger and hatred that he will fight with anyone, over anything at anytime. And all my life it is as though these two have been warring within me.”
McCutcheon asks, “Carlito, which one wins?”
“Ah…the one I feed…”
At the time of the concert this song and story struck me, and going back this weekend and listening to it brought several incidences to the forefront of my mind. I’ve been struggling to come up with something to write about here (to my sister’s severe protestations!) and tonight as I thought about some things happening at work, the story and song came back to me.
There are times that I become very frustrated with individuals that I work with. Recently there has been one person who repeatedly presents me with times of frustration. This has been going on all year, and affects not only myself, but an entire team. While I’m frustrated with the situation, there is another individual that has been affected even more than me. This person is a good friend of mine, and as I’ve watched the entire thing play out, I have seen her struggle with how to handle the situation. Yesterday, she reached a breaking point, and it was hard for me to watch. She was frustrated, and in her frustration she spent a good amount of time venting. While I understand that this is what she needed (and honestly it is sometimes what I myself need!), I also reached a point where I realized that sitting around the table and hashing it all out was only making us more upset. At some point, the disgruntled comments have to turn into a plan. I am a fixer at heart, and I can’t stand seeing someone so upset about what is going on.
I spent a lot of time yesterday and today thinking and praying about how I might go about fixing the problem. The situation with our team is beyond repair, I feel. We will be able to make it through the rest of the school year (just barely), but a new plan must be made for next year. My question to myself then was what I should do…and the only thing that came to mind was talking to the director about the issue. I struggle with this because it feels like I’m jumping the chain of command and turning into a tattler. We have tried to mediate within the group, and the truth is that the situation has only gotten worse and tenser. Today I spent much of my “free” time gathering my thoughts, and deciding how to phrase things. I’ve written a letter to the director, and tried to be as fair as possible about the whole thing—attempting to present facts, and not just my opinions about what has gone on. I was tempted to send it this afternoon, but I realized that I needed to spend some more time in prayer. My prayer tonight is that when I send the email tomorrow with this letter, that I will be feeding the correct wolf. I am uncomfortable with discord, and in constant pursuit of creating peace for myself and those around me. I worry that this letter will create discomfort for us as individuals, and as a team; but as a friend reminded me tonight, peacemaking includes dialogue and a resolution to the situation. The only way that will happen is if we open the lines of communication, and involve someone other than ourselves in the situation.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Self Examination
While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” Mark 14:22-24
I’ve been processing this since yesterday, and wondering what I would end up writing. First, I should say that I knew that I would face challenges as I accepted this new way of eating. Some challenges are easily met and life goes on, while others nag at me and wait for alternatives. Yesterday’s church service provided me with a challenge that has been gnawing at me ever since, and I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.
Yesterday was the first church service of the month, and we celebrated communion together. Or rather, I celebrated parts of communion. Because of the gluten in the bread I had to pass the loaf along. While I know in my heart that God understood my reasons, it nearly brought me to tears having to do it.
Having grown up in the Mennonite church, and being baptized as a young adult, I did not participate in communion all of my life. In addition to that, Whitestone (depending on which pastors we had) did not celebrate communion very often. I remember celebrating it maybe once or twice per year. The act of communion grew to be very special to me, and holds much significance. While baptism only happens once in a lifetime, communion is meant to be observed many times throughout the life of a Christian.
My father and I have had conversations in the past about churches that take communion weekly, and how the celebration that is communion becomes common place to the congregation. While I can understand how that might happen, I often wished that Whitestone had had it more often. One of the things I love most about attending the Presbyterian Church in Marion is that they have communion at least once per month.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood; you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:53-54
While I know that I am no less of a Christian because I’m unable to partake of the bread during communion, I do feel that I’m missing out on something. Communion is a time for us to be together as a community…congregation…body… Am I still a part of that group? Surely I am, but the feeling is still there gnawing at me. Observation of communion is about remembering Christ, his sacrifice for us, and self-examination. I’m still able to remember, to be thankful, but there is something about the physical elements that makes this more difficult to me. As a teacher, I’ve learned about how one must teach to a variety of learners, taking into consideration their specific learning styles. Perhaps the kinesthetic portion of communion is how I’m able to truly reflect, learn and change?
I’m unsure whether I have any more answers now, than when I began this post. I know that the process of writing down my feelings and thoughts is cathartic for me. It could be that I will learn to accept my partial participation in communion, or that this is something I will always struggle with. I do know that avoiding the church on days of communion is NOT the approach I should choose, but I have to admit that today that looks really tempting.
I’ve been processing this since yesterday, and wondering what I would end up writing. First, I should say that I knew that I would face challenges as I accepted this new way of eating. Some challenges are easily met and life goes on, while others nag at me and wait for alternatives. Yesterday’s church service provided me with a challenge that has been gnawing at me ever since, and I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.
Yesterday was the first church service of the month, and we celebrated communion together. Or rather, I celebrated parts of communion. Because of the gluten in the bread I had to pass the loaf along. While I know in my heart that God understood my reasons, it nearly brought me to tears having to do it.
Having grown up in the Mennonite church, and being baptized as a young adult, I did not participate in communion all of my life. In addition to that, Whitestone (depending on which pastors we had) did not celebrate communion very often. I remember celebrating it maybe once or twice per year. The act of communion grew to be very special to me, and holds much significance. While baptism only happens once in a lifetime, communion is meant to be observed many times throughout the life of a Christian.
My father and I have had conversations in the past about churches that take communion weekly, and how the celebration that is communion becomes common place to the congregation. While I can understand how that might happen, I often wished that Whitestone had had it more often. One of the things I love most about attending the Presbyterian Church in Marion is that they have communion at least once per month.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood; you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:53-54
While I know that I am no less of a Christian because I’m unable to partake of the bread during communion, I do feel that I’m missing out on something. Communion is a time for us to be together as a community…congregation…body… Am I still a part of that group? Surely I am, but the feeling is still there gnawing at me. Observation of communion is about remembering Christ, his sacrifice for us, and self-examination. I’m still able to remember, to be thankful, but there is something about the physical elements that makes this more difficult to me. As a teacher, I’ve learned about how one must teach to a variety of learners, taking into consideration their specific learning styles. Perhaps the kinesthetic portion of communion is how I’m able to truly reflect, learn and change?
I’m unsure whether I have any more answers now, than when I began this post. I know that the process of writing down my feelings and thoughts is cathartic for me. It could be that I will learn to accept my partial participation in communion, or that this is something I will always struggle with. I do know that avoiding the church on days of communion is NOT the approach I should choose, but I have to admit that today that looks really tempting.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sing a new song
Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. --Ephesians 5:19
Music is a large part of my life. Growing up in a musical family, I was exposed to many types of musical opportunities, and developed an appreciation for many musical genres. As I go about my day to day life, there is a constant stream of music on my mind, in my ears,and on my tongue.
The day may be gloomy, with dark clouds and sleet coming down. At times, depending on what else is going on in my life, my mood will match that. Even when I'm upset there is a song that will match my mood or feelings. Often, the music of my mood is what gets me out of the funk, and on to better things.
The children in my classroom have grown accustomed to me breaking out in song. They grin and giggle each time, and then turn back to their work. Sometimes if they know the song, they'll sing along with me. Even if they don't, they try to hum along. In their time with me they've been exposed to many more types of music than they would have otherwise, as well as the exposure to academics, of course. :)
When one sings, the whole body reverberates with the sound. Deeper breaths=more oxygen in your system=quite the calming effect. For me, it heals my body and lifts my spirits. When preparing for surgery, there were only 2 things I was really concerned about. One of them was what my voice would be like afterwards, and if it were gone, how I would deal with it. I deal with all the "stuff" of life through music, and how do you come to terms with things when your ways of processing are taken away from you? I will be forever thankful for the fact that I'm still able to sing.
All of that to really say this: Today was a tough day for me. There are things that I'm worried about with family members and today brought no answers, even though they were promised. To add to that, I had a student in class who had a difficult day. He's one of my behavior students, and while he's had a good year this year, today must have been a challenge for him. In reaction to it, flying pencils, chairs and books were made a part of my day today. Through it all I had a song going through my head. I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Newcomer lately. She has plenty of songs that reflect my moods and beliefs. One of her songs is called "Geodes" and speaks of how we sometimes overlook the truly wonderful things in life. The chorus of the song especially resonated with me today.
All these things that we call familiar,
Are just miracles clothed in the common place.
You’ll see it if you try in the next stranger's eyes,
God walks around in muddy boots,
Sometimes rags and that's the truth.
You can't always tell, but sometimes you just know.
The student today comes from an awful family life. He's clothed in castoffs from other foster children who've moved on, much too big and worn. His academic needs are enormous--not because he isn't a smart little boy, but because life circumstances have gotten in the way. While he's had quite the history of behavior problems in the past, this is really the first instance he has ever shown aggression with me. Today there was a substitute teacher in his regular education classroom, and any change for a student with behavior issues can cause problems. I'm unsure whether the chaos of the classroom was what caused the problem, or whether there was something deeper bothering him. In either case he doesn't have the skills to express what is truly at the root of the problem. Even while I was dodging items today, I knew that somewhere within is the child he's been all year long for me. Instead of anger at him, I felt an incredible sadness, and an anger that he's had to deal with so much in his short life. I was able to get him calmed down, and he was able to apologize to me before leaving my room this afternoon. I'm hopeful that he is able to find some peace and that we'll be back to our normal relationship tomorrow morning.
Music is a large part of my life. Growing up in a musical family, I was exposed to many types of musical opportunities, and developed an appreciation for many musical genres. As I go about my day to day life, there is a constant stream of music on my mind, in my ears,and on my tongue.
The day may be gloomy, with dark clouds and sleet coming down. At times, depending on what else is going on in my life, my mood will match that. Even when I'm upset there is a song that will match my mood or feelings. Often, the music of my mood is what gets me out of the funk, and on to better things.
The children in my classroom have grown accustomed to me breaking out in song. They grin and giggle each time, and then turn back to their work. Sometimes if they know the song, they'll sing along with me. Even if they don't, they try to hum along. In their time with me they've been exposed to many more types of music than they would have otherwise, as well as the exposure to academics, of course. :)
When one sings, the whole body reverberates with the sound. Deeper breaths=more oxygen in your system=quite the calming effect. For me, it heals my body and lifts my spirits. When preparing for surgery, there were only 2 things I was really concerned about. One of them was what my voice would be like afterwards, and if it were gone, how I would deal with it. I deal with all the "stuff" of life through music, and how do you come to terms with things when your ways of processing are taken away from you? I will be forever thankful for the fact that I'm still able to sing.
All of that to really say this: Today was a tough day for me. There are things that I'm worried about with family members and today brought no answers, even though they were promised. To add to that, I had a student in class who had a difficult day. He's one of my behavior students, and while he's had a good year this year, today must have been a challenge for him. In reaction to it, flying pencils, chairs and books were made a part of my day today. Through it all I had a song going through my head. I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Newcomer lately. She has plenty of songs that reflect my moods and beliefs. One of her songs is called "Geodes" and speaks of how we sometimes overlook the truly wonderful things in life. The chorus of the song especially resonated with me today.
All these things that we call familiar,
Are just miracles clothed in the common place.
You’ll see it if you try in the next stranger's eyes,
God walks around in muddy boots,
Sometimes rags and that's the truth.
You can't always tell, but sometimes you just know.
The student today comes from an awful family life. He's clothed in castoffs from other foster children who've moved on, much too big and worn. His academic needs are enormous--not because he isn't a smart little boy, but because life circumstances have gotten in the way. While he's had quite the history of behavior problems in the past, this is really the first instance he has ever shown aggression with me. Today there was a substitute teacher in his regular education classroom, and any change for a student with behavior issues can cause problems. I'm unsure whether the chaos of the classroom was what caused the problem, or whether there was something deeper bothering him. In either case he doesn't have the skills to express what is truly at the root of the problem. Even while I was dodging items today, I knew that somewhere within is the child he's been all year long for me. Instead of anger at him, I felt an incredible sadness, and an anger that he's had to deal with so much in his short life. I was able to get him calmed down, and he was able to apologize to me before leaving my room this afternoon. I'm hopeful that he is able to find some peace and that we'll be back to our normal relationship tomorrow morning.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Pinning Ceremony
This evening is my pinning ceremony, a celebration of all my hard work, and signifying an end to the classes I've been taking over the past 2 years.
The graduation ceremony starts at 6:30 at the Bowne Corby building (BCCC) and reception will follow. You are invited if you'd like to come!
The graduation ceremony starts at 6:30 at the Bowne Corby building (BCCC) and reception will follow. You are invited if you'd like to come!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
So thankful
I am so blessed to have the family I have.
Heading into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season this year, I was filled with uncertainty. With all the changes in my life recently, I knew that not being able to eat the foods of tradition would be hard for me. In my daily life sticking to the gluten free diet is relatively free from angst, but the holiday season is all about tradition. And most of our traditions center around FOOD!
Again, I must say how blessed I am. Both the Buller and Johnson sides of my family really made an effort to include me and my special diet in our holiday traditions. Whether it was making gravy from cornstarch; making sure the soups for our gathering were gluten free; baking Ostkaka with tapioca and rice flours; making amazing flour-less desserts for dinner or purchases of special rice pastas--everyone really made me feel included. My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have really thrown themselves into learning about this, and helping me stay safe. THANK YOU!
Even my grandmother revamped her cooking for me. I knew that going into this she would most likely be the one that would struggle with it the most. She's amazed me at how well she substituted and was willing to try different things. We even spent time baking caramel cinnamon rolls together one afternoon. While they weren't quite what she would normally produce, they were good (even she admitted that, and she's a tough critic!).
I'm including one of the desserts that we made during my time on the farm. Aunt Terri found it in one of her internet searches... These little cakes are scrumptious! We served them with Aunt Terri's homemade icecream (thanks to Mulberry the cow, too!).
Lavish Lava Cakes (originally from the Hagen Dazs website)
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
5 T. butter
3 eggs, separated
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. finely ground espresso beans (I may have used a bit more! ;) )
t T. unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Generously butter six 3/4 cup ramekins or custard cups (we used muffin tins).
In the microwave heat chocolate and butter on medium power for 1-2 minutes until butter is melted. Stir, reheating if necessary to melt chocolate; set aside. Stir egg yolks and 2 T. sugar into chocolate/butter mixture. Add espresso.
Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl; beat until foamy. Combine remaining 2 T sugar and cocoa powder, gradually beat into whites, until soft peaks fold over when beaters are lifted.
Stir 1/3 of the chocolate/butter mixture into the whites mixture. Gently fold in remaining chocolate mixture until completely combined. Divide evenly between cups. (Can cover at this point and refrigerate up to 24 hours before baking.)
Bake 10-12 minutes until puffy and cracks form on top. Edges should be firm and center moist between the cracks. (Bake 14-16 min. if refrigerated) Cool 3 minutes . Then either serve in ramekins or invert and serve on little plates with ice cream and dusting of cocoa powder.
Heading into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season this year, I was filled with uncertainty. With all the changes in my life recently, I knew that not being able to eat the foods of tradition would be hard for me. In my daily life sticking to the gluten free diet is relatively free from angst, but the holiday season is all about tradition. And most of our traditions center around FOOD!
Again, I must say how blessed I am. Both the Buller and Johnson sides of my family really made an effort to include me and my special diet in our holiday traditions. Whether it was making gravy from cornstarch; making sure the soups for our gathering were gluten free; baking Ostkaka with tapioca and rice flours; making amazing flour-less desserts for dinner or purchases of special rice pastas--everyone really made me feel included. My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have really thrown themselves into learning about this, and helping me stay safe. THANK YOU!
Even my grandmother revamped her cooking for me. I knew that going into this she would most likely be the one that would struggle with it the most. She's amazed me at how well she substituted and was willing to try different things. We even spent time baking caramel cinnamon rolls together one afternoon. While they weren't quite what she would normally produce, they were good (even she admitted that, and she's a tough critic!).
I'm including one of the desserts that we made during my time on the farm. Aunt Terri found it in one of her internet searches... These little cakes are scrumptious! We served them with Aunt Terri's homemade icecream (thanks to Mulberry the cow, too!).
Lavish Lava Cakes (originally from the Hagen Dazs website)
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
5 T. butter
3 eggs, separated
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. finely ground espresso beans (I may have used a bit more! ;) )
t T. unsweetened cocoa powder
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Generously butter six 3/4 cup ramekins or custard cups (we used muffin tins).
In the microwave heat chocolate and butter on medium power for 1-2 minutes until butter is melted. Stir, reheating if necessary to melt chocolate; set aside. Stir egg yolks and 2 T. sugar into chocolate/butter mixture. Add espresso.
Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl; beat until foamy. Combine remaining 2 T sugar and cocoa powder, gradually beat into whites, until soft peaks fold over when beaters are lifted.
Stir 1/3 of the chocolate/butter mixture into the whites mixture. Gently fold in remaining chocolate mixture until completely combined. Divide evenly between cups. (Can cover at this point and refrigerate up to 24 hours before baking.)
Bake 10-12 minutes until puffy and cracks form on top. Edges should be firm and center moist between the cracks. (Bake 14-16 min. if refrigerated) Cool 3 minutes . Then either serve in ramekins or invert and serve on little plates with ice cream and dusting of cocoa powder.
Monday, December 22, 2008
No wonder!
Dr. Cranston called me yesterday with test results from blood testing done last Tuesday. He had met me in the hallway after having my blood drawn, and had promised to call me yet that day with the results. Several days and phone calls to the office later, I still didn't have my results. When I called on Friday the office staff told me that he was coming in over the weekend, and that I should expect a phone call.
I had been feeling pretty crummy, still no where near the energy I would think that I would have, even after taking into consideration the fact that I just had surgery. I've been ready to go to bed at 4:00 each afternoon and stay in bed until the next morning's alarm. I realize that I just had surgery, but surely I should be able to stay up longer than 4:00 p.m.! And this is without adding in all my other responsibilities and loves. I haven't been exercising at all, and before surgery I was exercising before school and in the evening, as well as a full massage schedule. I knew that something wasn't right.
And Dr. Cranston's phone call confirmed that. A normal TSH range (thyroid test) is from 0.47 to 4.68. When my thyroid was tested a couple weeks after my surgery, it was at 0.52 which falls in the "normal" range, and Dr. Cranston was very happy with this number. Anything less than 0.47 would put me in the hyperthyroid range (more thyroid than I need), while anything above the 4.68 puts me in hypothyroid range (not enough thyroid). My test from Tuesday is reading at 5.12, which makes complete sense with how tired and worn out I am, as well as the hair that is in the tub after my baths, and my extremely dry skin.
Dr. Cranston is altering my medication level, and we'll retest in 6 weeks. I'm hopeful that sometime soon I'll start feeling like myself, and that things will be back to normal. I am thankful that Dr. Cranston took me seriously and agreed to retest my levels, and that we're going to work at finding an acceptable level for me.
These last 2 days before Christmas break promise to be busy busy. I'm fighting a cold, which adds to the fact that I have no energy. Pray that the next several days go quickly, and that Christmas vacation can be a time of rest for me!
Merry Christmas to all of you! Relax and REST over the holidays!
I had been feeling pretty crummy, still no where near the energy I would think that I would have, even after taking into consideration the fact that I just had surgery. I've been ready to go to bed at 4:00 each afternoon and stay in bed until the next morning's alarm. I realize that I just had surgery, but surely I should be able to stay up longer than 4:00 p.m.! And this is without adding in all my other responsibilities and loves. I haven't been exercising at all, and before surgery I was exercising before school and in the evening, as well as a full massage schedule. I knew that something wasn't right.
And Dr. Cranston's phone call confirmed that. A normal TSH range (thyroid test) is from 0.47 to 4.68. When my thyroid was tested a couple weeks after my surgery, it was at 0.52 which falls in the "normal" range, and Dr. Cranston was very happy with this number. Anything less than 0.47 would put me in the hyperthyroid range (more thyroid than I need), while anything above the 4.68 puts me in hypothyroid range (not enough thyroid). My test from Tuesday is reading at 5.12, which makes complete sense with how tired and worn out I am, as well as the hair that is in the tub after my baths, and my extremely dry skin.
Dr. Cranston is altering my medication level, and we'll retest in 6 weeks. I'm hopeful that sometime soon I'll start feeling like myself, and that things will be back to normal. I am thankful that Dr. Cranston took me seriously and agreed to retest my levels, and that we're going to work at finding an acceptable level for me.
These last 2 days before Christmas break promise to be busy busy. I'm fighting a cold, which adds to the fact that I have no energy. Pray that the next several days go quickly, and that Christmas vacation can be a time of rest for me!
Merry Christmas to all of you! Relax and REST over the holidays!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Baking up a Gluten Free Storm!
Many heart felt birthday wishes being sent to my dear Gustav today. I'm sad that I'm not able to be there with him today, but I know that his mommy and daddy are doing a great job of celebrating with him. His loving mommy made him a rocket cake yesterday, and I hear it was a HUGE hit today at his birthday lunch with the Hausgemeinshaft! Happy Birthday! I can't wait until you are home in the states again!
Tonight was supposed to involve the landlord coming over to move out the electric stove from my kitchen (several burners don't work on it) and my parents helping me move in a gas range that I purchased at the school auction a couple of weekends ago.
When I called to remind the landlord of his plans for this evening, he told me I just needed to leave his stove outside his garage and then he would take care of it. I guess he forgot about the fact that he said he'd move it for me. When I then called my father to remind him of our conversation about him helping me (to be fair, it did occur last week) he sounded really frustrated and I decided to ditch the idea of moving any stoves tonight. He'd been painting and hanging wallpaper all day (which wasn't going well, I take it) and in addition to all that, it snowed several inches yesterday and it might be a bit dangerous to move anything right now. Instead I think we'll postpone the entire thing until Saturday afternoon.
Instead, I came home and decided to try out one of the gluten free cookie recipes I posted last week. I mixed up the flour mixture in a big ice-cream tubby and labeled everything so that I can easily tell which tubby holds which flour mix. Then I made the dough for the Wedding Cookies (also called Russian Teacakes in our family). Instead of the sunflower seeds, I used walnuts this time. While those were chilling in the refrigerator, I also made some Gluten Free chex-type mix.
I used rice cereal, spanish peanuts, and some Glutino breadsticks I had (these are good, but not at all what I was envisioning when I bought them--no substance at all to them, so will stand in for the pretzels that chex mix normally has). I also made some chocolate chip muffins from a Gluten-Free Pantry mix that I found at Walmart the other day. 
I've looked at WalMart before for GF items, but always came up empty handed. This time I found brownie mix and muffin mix from Gluten-Free Pantry in the same area that the other muffin mix/cake mixes are located. I also found Midel and Pamela's Pantry cookies in the cookie section. Now if they'd only expand into having all the flours I need, as well as pastas.
So far I've taste tested the muffins and the cookies. Both are ok, and actually if I didn't know they were Gluten Free I'd probably think they were fairly average examples of what other people bake. I'm used to my baked good being much better than other people (I know, I'm not sounding very modest...just trying to convey why I'm a little frustrated.) I'm still struggling with the textures of things though--the mouth feel isn't quite right. Doughs are more grainy, not as smooth as I would like. I'm not sure whether I just haven't found the right flour combinations yet, or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Time will tell, I guess...
Somewhat related to all the baking mentioned above is an amazing flourless cake recipe that I stumbled across several weeks ago. I was shopping at Sam's for catering supplies for last weekend, and was able to sample this cake. I'm going to make some for myself soon, although maybe I'll have to invite some people over to enjoy it with me since I probably shouldn't eat an entire cake by myself! :) Anyone want to join me?
Milk Chocolate Flourless Cake
(6 servings)
4 oz. Hershey's milk Chocolate Kisses, unwrapped (I think I may try chocolate chips to substitute if I don't have the kisses on hand)
1 stick butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup cocoa, plus additional for dusting
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and butter sides of 8 inch round baking pan. Line bottom with a round of wax paper and butter the paper.
Combine butter and kisses in a microwavable bowl, and heat on medium/high 40-50 seconds. Stir until smooth. If needed, heat again for 20 seconds or until mixture is smooth when stirred.
Whisk in the sugar until combined. Mixture will not be smooth.
Add eggs one at a time and stir until smooth. Add the cocoa slowly and mix until blended. pour batter into pan and place in the middle of oven for 25 minutes or until top has formed a thin crust.
Cool for 5 minutes and invert onto a serving plate. Dust cake with additional cocoa.
Tonight was supposed to involve the landlord coming over to move out the electric stove from my kitchen (several burners don't work on it) and my parents helping me move in a gas range that I purchased at the school auction a couple of weekends ago.
When I called to remind the landlord of his plans for this evening, he told me I just needed to leave his stove outside his garage and then he would take care of it. I guess he forgot about the fact that he said he'd move it for me. When I then called my father to remind him of our conversation about him helping me (to be fair, it did occur last week) he sounded really frustrated and I decided to ditch the idea of moving any stoves tonight. He'd been painting and hanging wallpaper all day (which wasn't going well, I take it) and in addition to all that, it snowed several inches yesterday and it might be a bit dangerous to move anything right now. Instead I think we'll postpone the entire thing until Saturday afternoon.
Instead, I came home and decided to try out one of the gluten free cookie recipes I posted last week. I mixed up the flour mixture in a big ice-cream tubby and labeled everything so that I can easily tell which tubby holds which flour mix. Then I made the dough for the Wedding Cookies (also called Russian Teacakes in our family). Instead of the sunflower seeds, I used walnuts this time. While those were chilling in the refrigerator, I also made some Gluten Free chex-type mix.
I used rice cereal, spanish peanuts, and some Glutino breadsticks I had (these are good, but not at all what I was envisioning when I bought them--no substance at all to them, so will stand in for the pretzels that chex mix normally has). I also made some chocolate chip muffins from a Gluten-Free Pantry mix that I found at Walmart the other day. 
I've looked at WalMart before for GF items, but always came up empty handed. This time I found brownie mix and muffin mix from Gluten-Free Pantry in the same area that the other muffin mix/cake mixes are located. I also found Midel and Pamela's Pantry cookies in the cookie section. Now if they'd only expand into having all the flours I need, as well as pastas. So far I've taste tested the muffins and the cookies. Both are ok, and actually if I didn't know they were Gluten Free I'd probably think they were fairly average examples of what other people bake. I'm used to my baked good being much better than other people (I know, I'm not sounding very modest...just trying to convey why I'm a little frustrated.) I'm still struggling with the textures of things though--the mouth feel isn't quite right. Doughs are more grainy, not as smooth as I would like. I'm not sure whether I just haven't found the right flour combinations yet, or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Time will tell, I guess...
Somewhat related to all the baking mentioned above is an amazing flourless cake recipe that I stumbled across several weeks ago. I was shopping at Sam's for catering supplies for last weekend, and was able to sample this cake. I'm going to make some for myself soon, although maybe I'll have to invite some people over to enjoy it with me since I probably shouldn't eat an entire cake by myself! :) Anyone want to join me?
Milk Chocolate Flourless Cake
(6 servings)
4 oz. Hershey's milk Chocolate Kisses, unwrapped (I think I may try chocolate chips to substitute if I don't have the kisses on hand)
1 stick butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup cocoa, plus additional for dusting
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and butter sides of 8 inch round baking pan. Line bottom with a round of wax paper and butter the paper.
Combine butter and kisses in a microwavable bowl, and heat on medium/high 40-50 seconds. Stir until smooth. If needed, heat again for 20 seconds or until mixture is smooth when stirred.
Whisk in the sugar until combined. Mixture will not be smooth.
Add eggs one at a time and stir until smooth. Add the cocoa slowly and mix until blended. pour batter into pan and place in the middle of oven for 25 minutes or until top has formed a thin crust.
Cool for 5 minutes and invert onto a serving plate. Dust cake with additional cocoa.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Family
I attend such a wonderful church here in Marion. Upon discovering that I now needed to live gluten-free, one of my friends made an announcement to the congregation during a service several weeks ago. Since then there have been many concerned members who have asked me how the diet is going, offered advice that they've gleaned from "friends of friends", and in general just showed such concern for me and my well being.
Last night was our Christmas Vespers service, and yet another example of their love for me. Someone brought me special gluten free cookies and a recipe attached to the container for how to make them. Originally the recipe was full of gluten, but the recipe has been altered to have brown rice flour instead of wheat flour. The whole Darrow family now likes the gluten free version better than the previous version. Let me tell you, these cookies are scrumptious! Last night I was able to limit myself to one, but I just snarfed down three in the space of 5 minutes. I've only got two left, and then I'll be baking them for myself.
Grandma Darrow's Monster Cookies (Gluten Free Version)
Cream together: 3 eggs and 2 cups brown sugar
Add and beat until smooth: 1 t. vanilla, 1/4 t. white corn syrup, 1 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 stick butter
Add and mix: 2 t. baking soda, 1/2 cup rice flour, 4 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2 c. M&Ms, 1/2 cup chocolate chips
Scoop into balls with cookie scoop or ice cream dipper for big cookies. Flatten on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 min.
Last night was our Christmas Vespers service, and yet another example of their love for me. Someone brought me special gluten free cookies and a recipe attached to the container for how to make them. Originally the recipe was full of gluten, but the recipe has been altered to have brown rice flour instead of wheat flour. The whole Darrow family now likes the gluten free version better than the previous version. Let me tell you, these cookies are scrumptious! Last night I was able to limit myself to one, but I just snarfed down three in the space of 5 minutes. I've only got two left, and then I'll be baking them for myself.
Grandma Darrow's Monster Cookies (Gluten Free Version)
Cream together: 3 eggs and 2 cups brown sugar
Add and beat until smooth: 1 t. vanilla, 1/4 t. white corn syrup, 1 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 stick butter
Add and mix: 2 t. baking soda, 1/2 cup rice flour, 4 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2 c. M&Ms, 1/2 cup chocolate chips
Scoop into balls with cookie scoop or ice cream dipper for big cookies. Flatten on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 min.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Let's try these!
My friend Diana gives me her copy of "Living Without" (a magazine for people with food allergies--predominately gluten free recipes) after she is done reading it. This month's recipes are all about cooking for the holidays. Most exciting to me was a section on Christmas cookies! For everyday, eating gluten free is easy for me. I was a bit upset though that I was going to have to give up the holiday food that is so important to family traditions. Maybe it won't have to happen now!
I haven't tried any of these, but I'm going to post the recipes so that I don't have to lug the copies of the magazine all over, and they are easily accessed when I go home and have some time to bake with Mom. I will report back which ones are keepers and which should be tossed! Hopefully they will all be keepers!
Here is the basic cookie flour mix that you'll need for all the recipes.
Gluten-Free Cookie Flour Mix
4 cups fine brown rice flour
1 1/3 cups potato starch (not potato flour)
2/3 cup tapioca flour/starch
Combine all ingredients. Store in the refrigerator until ready to use.
And now for the cookie recipes! I'm looking forward to decorating cookies with my mom when I go home for Christmas. Some of my favorite memories are Christmas memories of decorating cookies with Mom and Heidi. Mom's cookies always looked the best, absolutely beautiful and more work of art than cookie. Heidi and I had plenty of fun though, and enjoyed making ours as glittery and crunchy as possible--sometimes to the point of being inedible. The cookies got mixed up and put in tins, and Dad was always happy to eat our creations!
Melt-in-Your-Mouth Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening (can be dairy free, etc... if allergic)
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix (above)
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1. Place confectioner's sugar and shortening in bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth and slightly fluffy.
2. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum, baking soda and cream of tartar.
4. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture, beating on low speed until thoroughly combined.
5. Gather up dough into a ball and chill it for 2 hours.
6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
7. Flour (with GF flour!) your work surface and rolling pin. Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes with your favorite cookie cutters. Using a thin spatula, transfer cookies to cookie sheets. Gather up remaining scraps of dough and roll out again, cutting and rolling until you've used it all.
8. Bake cookies in preheated oven on center rack for 10 minutes. Cool on cookie sheets for 10 minutes before transferring to wire rack.
9. Decorate with icing! My favorite part!
Spritz Cookies
(these are the ones I'm most excited about! A family favorite!)
1 1/2 cups shortening
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract (our family usually uses almond extract, I believe)
3 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat shortening and sugar in an electric mixer set on medium for about 30 seconds. Add baking powder and mix until combined. Beat in egg and vanill aextract until combined.
3. In a separate bowl, combine GF flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
4. Add the flour mixture to the shortening mixture, beating on low speed until combined.
5. Pack the dough into a cookie press. Place the face of the press firmly down on an ungreased cookie sheet and press out cookie, a single press for each cookie. Space cookies about 1 inch apart. Decorate with colored sugar, sprinkles, etc...
6. Bake for 8 minutes on center rack in preheated oven until cookie edges are firm but not brown. Cool cookies on the cookie sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Old-Fashioned Ginger Snaps
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
4 T. brown sugar
4 T. molasses
4 T. orange marmalade
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar, for rolling
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Beat shortening and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Add brown sugar, molasses, orange marmalade and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt and spices.
4. Add flour mixture to shortening mixture and beat on low speed to combine.
5. Using your hands, roll uniform-sized pieces of dough into balls.
6. Roll balls in the sugar and place on the parchment paper.
7. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for 14 minutes.
8. Let cookies cool about 5 minutes on cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
Wedding Cookies
(maybe my all-time favorite cookie)
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup finally chopped roasted sunflower seeds (I think we use either walnuts or almonds--I'll have to ask Mom about this)
1. In a large bowl, combine confectioner's sugar, shortening and vanilla extract. Blend well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
3. Stir flour mixture and sunflower seeds into sugar mixture, mixing with hands until dough holds together. Cover the bowl and let chill about 1 hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.
5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Flour your hands and shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 1 inch apart on the cookie sheets.
6. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for about 20 minutes until set but not brown.
7. Spread additional sugar evenly over the surface of a large plate. Reserve.
8. Cool cookies for 10 minutes on sheets. Gently remove with a thin spatula and roll them in confectioner's sugar. Cool completely and re-roll in confectioner's sugar, adding additional sugar as needed.
And the last recipe was given to me by one of my paraprofessionals. Her family has several gluten intolerant people, and so this is a Peanut Butter cookie recipe she makes for all of them. According to Erin, they taste exactly like the real thing!
Erin's Peanut Butter Cookies
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
That's it! Bake as you would for a normal recipe of PB cookies.
I haven't tried any of these, but I'm going to post the recipes so that I don't have to lug the copies of the magazine all over, and they are easily accessed when I go home and have some time to bake with Mom. I will report back which ones are keepers and which should be tossed! Hopefully they will all be keepers!
Here is the basic cookie flour mix that you'll need for all the recipes.
Gluten-Free Cookie Flour Mix
4 cups fine brown rice flour
1 1/3 cups potato starch (not potato flour)
2/3 cup tapioca flour/starch
Combine all ingredients. Store in the refrigerator until ready to use.
And now for the cookie recipes! I'm looking forward to decorating cookies with my mom when I go home for Christmas. Some of my favorite memories are Christmas memories of decorating cookies with Mom and Heidi. Mom's cookies always looked the best, absolutely beautiful and more work of art than cookie. Heidi and I had plenty of fun though, and enjoyed making ours as glittery and crunchy as possible--sometimes to the point of being inedible. The cookies got mixed up and put in tins, and Dad was always happy to eat our creations!
Melt-in-Your-Mouth Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening (can be dairy free, etc... if allergic)
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix (above)
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1. Place confectioner's sugar and shortening in bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth and slightly fluffy.
2. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum, baking soda and cream of tartar.
4. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture, beating on low speed until thoroughly combined.
5. Gather up dough into a ball and chill it for 2 hours.
6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
7. Flour (with GF flour!) your work surface and rolling pin. Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes with your favorite cookie cutters. Using a thin spatula, transfer cookies to cookie sheets. Gather up remaining scraps of dough and roll out again, cutting and rolling until you've used it all.
8. Bake cookies in preheated oven on center rack for 10 minutes. Cool on cookie sheets for 10 minutes before transferring to wire rack.
9. Decorate with icing! My favorite part!
Spritz Cookies
(these are the ones I'm most excited about! A family favorite!)
1 1/2 cups shortening
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract (our family usually uses almond extract, I believe)
3 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat shortening and sugar in an electric mixer set on medium for about 30 seconds. Add baking powder and mix until combined. Beat in egg and vanill aextract until combined.
3. In a separate bowl, combine GF flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
4. Add the flour mixture to the shortening mixture, beating on low speed until combined.
5. Pack the dough into a cookie press. Place the face of the press firmly down on an ungreased cookie sheet and press out cookie, a single press for each cookie. Space cookies about 1 inch apart. Decorate with colored sugar, sprinkles, etc...
6. Bake for 8 minutes on center rack in preheated oven until cookie edges are firm but not brown. Cool cookies on the cookie sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.
Old-Fashioned Ginger Snaps
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
4 T. brown sugar
4 T. molasses
4 T. orange marmalade
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar, for rolling
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Beat shortening and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Add brown sugar, molasses, orange marmalade and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt and spices.
4. Add flour mixture to shortening mixture and beat on low speed to combine.
5. Using your hands, roll uniform-sized pieces of dough into balls.
6. Roll balls in the sugar and place on the parchment paper.
7. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for 14 minutes.
8. Let cookies cool about 5 minutes on cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
Wedding Cookies
(maybe my all-time favorite cookie)
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup finally chopped roasted sunflower seeds (I think we use either walnuts or almonds--I'll have to ask Mom about this)
1. In a large bowl, combine confectioner's sugar, shortening and vanilla extract. Blend well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
3. Stir flour mixture and sunflower seeds into sugar mixture, mixing with hands until dough holds together. Cover the bowl and let chill about 1 hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.
5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Flour your hands and shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 1 inch apart on the cookie sheets.
6. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for about 20 minutes until set but not brown.
7. Spread additional sugar evenly over the surface of a large plate. Reserve.
8. Cool cookies for 10 minutes on sheets. Gently remove with a thin spatula and roll them in confectioner's sugar. Cool completely and re-roll in confectioner's sugar, adding additional sugar as needed.
And the last recipe was given to me by one of my paraprofessionals. Her family has several gluten intolerant people, and so this is a Peanut Butter cookie recipe she makes for all of them. According to Erin, they taste exactly like the real thing!
Erin's Peanut Butter Cookies
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
That's it! Bake as you would for a normal recipe of PB cookies.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Yippee! I found something I like!
Okay,this is sad. I've already told you that the thing that I was most concerned with about going gluten free was the fact that I wouldn't be able to enjoy beer anymore. This coming from a person that rarely drinks--only partaking when I'm with other family members or friends.
While I've found some really bad gluten free items, I've also found some really good things. Two of the best items are gluten free beer! Yippee!!!
Mom and Dad indulged me the other night when we were in Wichita, and we made a trip to Jacob's--the biggest liquor store in Wichita. There I found 3 gluten free beers, one of which I had already tried and decided I hated. Marion in all of it's glory actually carries gluten free beer, although not a brand that actually tastes any good. I had tried Dragon's Gold even before I was diagnosed--it is terrible! Maybe it was what I was eating while I was drinking, but it wasn't to my liking. Very much like a porter, and although I like dark beer, I don't have a taste for porter. I was so excited to find 2 other types of gluten free beer at Jacob's. I bought 6 packs of both.
Anheuser-Busch has a new gluten free beer, called "Redbridge". It is made from sorghum, and is very very good. Reminds me a bit of a wheat beer.
Lakefront Brewery from Milwaukee has a new beer called "New Grist". Made from sorghum and rice extracts, it also is very good.
Between the two of these, I will be fine. Now I've only got to convince the owner in Marion to carry at least one of them.
While I'm drinking my New Grist tonight, I'm waiting for a loaf of bread to rise. I've been really hungry for a crispy grilled cheese sandwich and hot tomato soup to dip in since it has been so cool lately. But...I can't just go out to the store and buy a loaf of bread anymore. I've got to plan ahead and have something already baked. Pamela's Products wonderful bread mix to the rescue again!
My next project will be to make some pecan sticky rolls with the same bread mix. My friend Diana made some right before Thanksgiving, and I guess they were amazing. She says she made the sweet roll dough from on the same package. She put melted butter, cinnamon, and pecans in the bottom of muffin tins, and then scooped some dough in each. YUM!
I'll keep you updated as I discover new products. I hope you are all doing well!
While I've found some really bad gluten free items, I've also found some really good things. Two of the best items are gluten free beer! Yippee!!!
Mom and Dad indulged me the other night when we were in Wichita, and we made a trip to Jacob's--the biggest liquor store in Wichita. There I found 3 gluten free beers, one of which I had already tried and decided I hated. Marion in all of it's glory actually carries gluten free beer, although not a brand that actually tastes any good. I had tried Dragon's Gold even before I was diagnosed--it is terrible! Maybe it was what I was eating while I was drinking, but it wasn't to my liking. Very much like a porter, and although I like dark beer, I don't have a taste for porter. I was so excited to find 2 other types of gluten free beer at Jacob's. I bought 6 packs of both.
Anheuser-Busch has a new gluten free beer, called "Redbridge". It is made from sorghum, and is very very good. Reminds me a bit of a wheat beer.
Lakefront Brewery from Milwaukee has a new beer called "New Grist". Made from sorghum and rice extracts, it also is very good.
Between the two of these, I will be fine. Now I've only got to convince the owner in Marion to carry at least one of them.
While I'm drinking my New Grist tonight, I'm waiting for a loaf of bread to rise. I've been really hungry for a crispy grilled cheese sandwich and hot tomato soup to dip in since it has been so cool lately. But...I can't just go out to the store and buy a loaf of bread anymore. I've got to plan ahead and have something already baked. Pamela's Products wonderful bread mix to the rescue again!
My next project will be to make some pecan sticky rolls with the same bread mix. My friend Diana made some right before Thanksgiving, and I guess they were amazing. She says she made the sweet roll dough from on the same package. She put melted butter, cinnamon, and pecans in the bottom of muffin tins, and then scooped some dough in each. YUM!
I'll keep you updated as I discover new products. I hope you are all doing well!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I've got a "Gratitude Attitude"
This past week the kindergarten, 1st and 2nd graders had their Thanksgiving concert. One of the songs was called "Gratitude Attitude". At a point in the song the kids were able to come up to the mic and shout out what they were grateful for. Many mentioned family, friends, living in the US, etc... The one that was my favorite though was a former student of mine. Knowing the kid as I do, I was praying that something acceptable would come out of his mouth when he came up to the mic. He's had a tough life...abusive father, mother who was beaten numerous times in front of him, learning disability, moving frequently between Marion and Wichita and last year his father committed suicide. He's been talking about his father a lot recently, and his mother wasn't quite sure what would come out of his mouth when he got his chance. We were all relieved when out of his mouth popped "I'm thankful for bananas!" :)
I too am thankful for bananas. I'm thankful for so much more though.
I'm thankful for loving parents who take care of me and have raised me in a wonderful home.
I'm thankful for my sister Heidi, and the loving close friendship we share.
I'm thankful for my dear brother-in-law, Tim, who always makes me smile.
I'm thankful for my nephew Gustav, and his continued good health and constant learning.
I'm thankful for my extended families on both sides, and the fact that we are so close to each other and enjoy spending time with each other.
I'm thankful for a talented surgeon, a benign tumor, and continued recovery.
I'm thankful for a new diagnosis of celiac, and the possibilities of fewer migraines in my future!
I'm thankful for my many friends. They span the globe and have many interests, but I love spending time with each of them.
I'm thankful for a stable job in this unstable economic time.
I am blessed.
Tomorrow is a day devoted to counting our blessings. Mine are more numerous than what I can list here. The following Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. While I have many of my Christmas gifts already purchased and waiting to be wrapped, I know that there are many who will not be able to give gifts.
I happened to see this clip through another friend's blog.
I've written about my hatred of Santa on here before. I won't bore you again. I feel that the clip speaks for itself, and America's consumerism. As I was watching this clip though, my mind kept coming back to how fortunate I am. The church I attend here in Marion usually participates in Marion's version of the Angel Tree. This year our town is in crisis. In a town of 1800 the closings of businesses and layoffs in others has been felt drastically. Our food bank is nearly empty. Parents aren't concerned with giving their children presents for Christmas this year, they need food to put in their children's mouths. Instead of collecting presents for the children in Marion this year, we are all asked to donate to the food pantry.
While I am trying to stretch my dollars as far as they will go these days, I am no-where near where many families are. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, whether there will be anything to put in my mouth. My stomach does not groan with hunger pains.
Tomorrow I will be feasting with my loved ones. I am confident that the table will be packed with dishes, and that no one will be leaving hungry. We'll have seconds, thirds, and leftovers to take home. We'll laugh at each other, and with each other! :) We'll nap, we'll play. We will show our love for each other.
I'm still trying to figure out what all I can do to help those around me. So far I've got a shopping trip planned for purchasing items that food stamps won't cover (toiletries like deoderant, shampoo, etc...) and canned items. It isn't much, but it is a way I can contribute.
Happy Thanksgiving dear friends and family. May you enjoy the time with your loved ones tomorrow and over the weekend, and be thinking of those around you!
I too am thankful for bananas. I'm thankful for so much more though.
I'm thankful for loving parents who take care of me and have raised me in a wonderful home.
I'm thankful for my sister Heidi, and the loving close friendship we share.
I'm thankful for my dear brother-in-law, Tim, who always makes me smile.
I'm thankful for my nephew Gustav, and his continued good health and constant learning.
I'm thankful for my extended families on both sides, and the fact that we are so close to each other and enjoy spending time with each other.
I'm thankful for a talented surgeon, a benign tumor, and continued recovery.
I'm thankful for a new diagnosis of celiac, and the possibilities of fewer migraines in my future!
I'm thankful for my many friends. They span the globe and have many interests, but I love spending time with each of them.
I'm thankful for a stable job in this unstable economic time.
I am blessed.
Tomorrow is a day devoted to counting our blessings. Mine are more numerous than what I can list here. The following Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. While I have many of my Christmas gifts already purchased and waiting to be wrapped, I know that there are many who will not be able to give gifts.
I happened to see this clip through another friend's blog.
I've written about my hatred of Santa on here before. I won't bore you again. I feel that the clip speaks for itself, and America's consumerism. As I was watching this clip though, my mind kept coming back to how fortunate I am. The church I attend here in Marion usually participates in Marion's version of the Angel Tree. This year our town is in crisis. In a town of 1800 the closings of businesses and layoffs in others has been felt drastically. Our food bank is nearly empty. Parents aren't concerned with giving their children presents for Christmas this year, they need food to put in their children's mouths. Instead of collecting presents for the children in Marion this year, we are all asked to donate to the food pantry.
While I am trying to stretch my dollars as far as they will go these days, I am no-where near where many families are. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, whether there will be anything to put in my mouth. My stomach does not groan with hunger pains.
Tomorrow I will be feasting with my loved ones. I am confident that the table will be packed with dishes, and that no one will be leaving hungry. We'll have seconds, thirds, and leftovers to take home. We'll laugh at each other, and with each other! :) We'll nap, we'll play. We will show our love for each other.
I'm still trying to figure out what all I can do to help those around me. So far I've got a shopping trip planned for purchasing items that food stamps won't cover (toiletries like deoderant, shampoo, etc...) and canned items. It isn't much, but it is a way I can contribute.
Happy Thanksgiving dear friends and family. May you enjoy the time with your loved ones tomorrow and over the weekend, and be thinking of those around you!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Gluten Free Lifestyle, Here I Come!
It's been a crash course. I'm glad I had some time off to recover from surgery, and also fill my brain with all the dos and don'ts. I've also visited the nearest health food store (thank you Prairie Harvest!) and Dillon's several times, and stocked up on gluten free baking mixes, flour mixes, and various other items for this new undertaking.
This past week I've tested out 2 mixes. I made Chebe cinnamon rolls, and Chebe pizza crust. So far my favorite bread mix is still from Pamela's products. Chebe (pronounced Cheebee) is a company from Brazil, and the main ingredient is manioc flour (from the yucca plant). The cinnamon roll mix was ok, but nothing fantastic. The problem for me lies in the fact that I come from a family of good bakers and I've been spoiled with good food. For anyone else, the cinnamon rolls would be ok, but not for me. I'm still searching... And it may just be something that I can't make from a mix and will have to figure out a flour blend for myself. The taste was ok, although not quite right...and the texture was what really got to me. As long as I call them something else in my mind, I can eat them...but I have to trick myself! :) I think the pizza crust will be ok. I haven't actually eaten any of it yet, instead I made 4 little personal sized crusts that I can quickly prepare and eat at different times. The crust mix had italian spices mixed in and smelled wonderful. If not, Pamela's Products will come to the rescue again!
I've ordered several books and cookbooks these last weeks. It seems that Bette Hagman is the go-to person for celiac cooking and baking. She's got several cookbooks on the market and is often referred to in other cookbooks. (She hails from Seattle--hey Abbe, do you have a hookup for me? :) ) One of her cookbooks, "The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Comfort Foods", even has a recipe for Swedish Pancakes! I thought that those were only comfort food for my sister and myself! Who knew the whole world considers them comfort food! :)
I'm including the Gluten Free baking mix that she has developed. That way I can access it whenever I travel.
Gluten Free Mix (can be exchanged cup for cup for wheat flour)
2 parts rice flour
2/3 part potato starch
1/3 part tapioca flour
Featherlight Rice Flour Mix (use for more delicate items like cakes, cookies, biscuits)
1 part rice flour
1 part tapioca flour
1 part cornstarch
1 tsp per cup potato flour (3 cups various flours=3 tsp. potato flour)
I'll keep updating all of you as I find new favorite recipes. I think I may have to make Swedish pancakes for supper tonight though!
This past week I've tested out 2 mixes. I made Chebe cinnamon rolls, and Chebe pizza crust. So far my favorite bread mix is still from Pamela's products. Chebe (pronounced Cheebee) is a company from Brazil, and the main ingredient is manioc flour (from the yucca plant). The cinnamon roll mix was ok, but nothing fantastic. The problem for me lies in the fact that I come from a family of good bakers and I've been spoiled with good food. For anyone else, the cinnamon rolls would be ok, but not for me. I'm still searching... And it may just be something that I can't make from a mix and will have to figure out a flour blend for myself. The taste was ok, although not quite right...and the texture was what really got to me. As long as I call them something else in my mind, I can eat them...but I have to trick myself! :) I think the pizza crust will be ok. I haven't actually eaten any of it yet, instead I made 4 little personal sized crusts that I can quickly prepare and eat at different times. The crust mix had italian spices mixed in and smelled wonderful. If not, Pamela's Products will come to the rescue again!
I've ordered several books and cookbooks these last weeks. It seems that Bette Hagman is the go-to person for celiac cooking and baking. She's got several cookbooks on the market and is often referred to in other cookbooks. (She hails from Seattle--hey Abbe, do you have a hookup for me? :) ) One of her cookbooks, "The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Comfort Foods", even has a recipe for Swedish Pancakes! I thought that those were only comfort food for my sister and myself! Who knew the whole world considers them comfort food! :)
I'm including the Gluten Free baking mix that she has developed. That way I can access it whenever I travel.
Gluten Free Mix (can be exchanged cup for cup for wheat flour)
2 parts rice flour
2/3 part potato starch
1/3 part tapioca flour
Featherlight Rice Flour Mix (use for more delicate items like cakes, cookies, biscuits)
1 part rice flour
1 part tapioca flour
1 part cornstarch
1 tsp per cup potato flour (3 cups various flours=3 tsp. potato flour)
I'll keep updating all of you as I find new favorite recipes. I think I may have to make Swedish pancakes for supper tonight though!
Monday, November 17, 2008
I'm beat
Today was my first day back to work after surgery. It was a hard day. I went home early, at 2:30 (which is my plan time) and I'll probably continue to do that this week until I get more of my energy back. The sad thing was that I was ready to be back home on the couch by 9:00 this morning.
My body continues to adjust. I'm not sure that I have the correct dosage of thyroid hormone as my skin is really dry--uncomfortably so. My next appointment is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My hormones are on a roller coaster while my body adjusts...I'm close to tears much of the day. People being nice to me make my cry, and the thoughtless things people say make me cry. In general, the tears are always ready to fall.
One of the children I have in class brought me a basket filled with candy and cookies....tears. Coworkers asking me how I am....tears. Co-teacher announcing my return in front of the entire school at assembly...tears. Staff thanksgiving dinner (where I could hardly eat anything except olives and carrot sticks)...tears. Coworkers checking on me throughout the day and urging me to go home...tears.
Most of those instances I was able to keep myself in check, wiping away the tears quickly and moving on. The one thing that I can't get over was said to me last week. The tears keep coming for this one because it really felt like my entire situation was trivialized. Whether because of lack of knowledge or a general lack of interest (or tact) I'm not sure, but I was told that I am not really badly gluten intolerant, that I should be able to try different gluten filled food if I want a taste, and that I'm not as sick as other celiacs the person knows. The reasoning behind this was that I don't have to run to the bathroom and vomit everytime I eat gluten. While I care for and respect those that suffer in this manner, or with IBS, I have to say that this comment hurt. Do my 10 years of daily migraines not count as suffering? Does the fact that 2 weeks ago I had major surgery (total thyroidectomy) not count? The gluten poisoned my system and attacked a major part of my body. If I don't stop eating gluten now, what will it attack next?
While I am upset over comments like this, as well as the idea that I have to totally change my diet, I'm also thankful that I've finally found some answers. In the week and half that I haven't eaten gluten, I haven't had a migraine! Have I finally found the answer? If so, I'm willing to eat Gluten free for the rest of my life!
I'm thankful for my friend, Diana. She's helping me sort through all the gluten free garbage out there, and find the good stuff! She's brought me food while I recovered, invited me to lectures (even before I was diagnosed!), loaned me magazines, and just provided me with someone I can talk to about all of this.
I'm thankful for my parents too, as they have volunteered (even Dad, the carb king!) to try different pastas and things while I search for things that are tasty. Mom and Dad came over last night for supper, and I think I may have convinced Dad that gluten free can be tasty too.
My body continues to adjust. I'm not sure that I have the correct dosage of thyroid hormone as my skin is really dry--uncomfortably so. My next appointment is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My hormones are on a roller coaster while my body adjusts...I'm close to tears much of the day. People being nice to me make my cry, and the thoughtless things people say make me cry. In general, the tears are always ready to fall.
One of the children I have in class brought me a basket filled with candy and cookies....tears. Coworkers asking me how I am....tears. Co-teacher announcing my return in front of the entire school at assembly...tears. Staff thanksgiving dinner (where I could hardly eat anything except olives and carrot sticks)...tears. Coworkers checking on me throughout the day and urging me to go home...tears.
Most of those instances I was able to keep myself in check, wiping away the tears quickly and moving on. The one thing that I can't get over was said to me last week. The tears keep coming for this one because it really felt like my entire situation was trivialized. Whether because of lack of knowledge or a general lack of interest (or tact) I'm not sure, but I was told that I am not really badly gluten intolerant, that I should be able to try different gluten filled food if I want a taste, and that I'm not as sick as other celiacs the person knows. The reasoning behind this was that I don't have to run to the bathroom and vomit everytime I eat gluten. While I care for and respect those that suffer in this manner, or with IBS, I have to say that this comment hurt. Do my 10 years of daily migraines not count as suffering? Does the fact that 2 weeks ago I had major surgery (total thyroidectomy) not count? The gluten poisoned my system and attacked a major part of my body. If I don't stop eating gluten now, what will it attack next?
While I am upset over comments like this, as well as the idea that I have to totally change my diet, I'm also thankful that I've finally found some answers. In the week and half that I haven't eaten gluten, I haven't had a migraine! Have I finally found the answer? If so, I'm willing to eat Gluten free for the rest of my life!
I'm thankful for my friend, Diana. She's helping me sort through all the gluten free garbage out there, and find the good stuff! She's brought me food while I recovered, invited me to lectures (even before I was diagnosed!), loaned me magazines, and just provided me with someone I can talk to about all of this.
I'm thankful for my parents too, as they have volunteered (even Dad, the carb king!) to try different pastas and things while I search for things that are tasty. Mom and Dad came over last night for supper, and I think I may have convinced Dad that gluten free can be tasty too.
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