Wishing I was traveling......

2011-05-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile (again) since I’ve blogged. I’ve honestly thought about taking the blog down, and wondered whether this is something I still need. My original intentions were to have a place to communicate with friends and family, a place where I could journal and process my thoughts and feelings, but mostly it was to be a way for my sister and her family to stay in touch with me while they were overseas. Said sister has since moved home, and I see them on a regular basis. I know that I have family members and friends who continue to check this as a way to keep in touch with me, and as a way to understand what I am thinking about. Unfortunately, there are some side effects to having a blog that is open to the community at large. Throughout the time, there have been inappropriate comments left on the blog by complete strangers (which I have taken down as they emerge). It is also a way for people that I would rather not have contact with (for various reasons) to keep “track” of me. I realize that I could change the format so that only selected people can view the blog and it’s contents. This seems like a whole lot of work, which is why I’ve been thinking more seriously about discontinuing it all together. The other thought that pops into my head is that I know there are individuals out there who do read this and look for my updates on a regular basis. I know that this is one of the many ways that they show that they care for me. It is these people that I keep coming back to, and that convince me that this is something I “need” to continue. And so, I think I will. There may be stretches where I post many times, and then there may be times (like more recently) when you won’t hear anything from me. Such is life! ☺

My life has changed courses several times over the past months since January. On some subjects I am willing to expound, while others I will remain “mum” over. These months have been some of the hardest of my life as I’ve pondered what my life means to me, as well as to others. I’ve felt incredible sadness, consuming anger, hurt that I didn’t think it was possible to recover from…. On the other hand, I am finding my way back to being me, and putting the pieces back together. I have felt incredible PEACE. I have JOY in my life. I know that I am LOVED. And, I know that God is guiding me through this all and will show me His plans for me.

Eric and I have broken up, gotten back together, and then broken up (for good this time) again. I will not stoop to placing blame or badmouthing. Things did not work out and we are both hoping to move on and be better for the experience.

One of my students struggles with knowing right from wrong. There have been several incidents throughout the school year with various adults and children that have shown how serious of a problem he has. This behavior culminated in an interaction with me, which then turned into him being charged with sexual battery. I have had lots of conflicting thoughts about this, and I’ve been so thankful for the full support of the administration I’m working with this year.

I’ve begun my ESL (English as a Second Language) endorsement. Classes are in 8-week increments, and meet each week for several hours at a time. 8 weeks means lots of work out of class and tons of reading on your own. By spring of 2012 I will have my endorsement completed. I feel a bit crazy for having taken on this responsibility while I’m also trying to complete my Master’s Degree, but the school district offered to pay for the endorsement (or at least most of the costs related to it) and I realize that this offer will not come along again anytime soon.

I’m at the end of my second semester of Master’s degree coursework. I’m finishing up my final project(s) for this semester, and preparing for the summer work. I have 12 credits completed towards my degree. A few weeks ago the organization that has helped pay for most of my Master’s coursework up to this point sent me a letter asking whether I had any interest in continuing to take classes during this summer. This is the first time they’ve had enough money to offer help during the summer months, and I jumped at the chance to “knock out” some additional courses over the summer. By August I’ll have finished 6 more hours towards the degree. Slowly and steadily….

I’ve also been offered a summer position with the school district. One of the principals in the district is developing a new summer program, and I’ve been asked to help create the pilot program. I’ll be teaching Monday through Thursday mornings with 4-7th grade students for a total of 6 weeks. The principal trusts me to develop my own curriculum and activities for the students, and her only request is that it is not worksheet based learning. I’ll be taking data from achievement testing (district, state, etc…) as well as the State Standards that students need to understand and put into practice at the different grade levels and put all of that into activities for the students. I’ve already been doing quite a bit of planning in my free time, and I’m excited with what I’ve come up with so far. I’m hopeful that the kids get as excited about it as I am!

Another of the projects I’ve recently taken on is to be a spokesperson for one of the Gluten Free companies that I love. It’s a bakery called Udi’s and is based in Denver. As an Udi’s ambassador I get to meet with groups and share about the product I love so much. So far I’ve met with a group in Hesston, and will be in Wichita next weekend presenting (and handing out samples) at Green Acres Market. There are two other gluten free groups that I’m talking with about possible opportunities, and I’m excited about how I’m able to help others. Udi’s does not pay me to be a spokesperson for them, I just know how much they are a resource to me, and I want to share that with others.

I’ve been busy baking (gluten filled) treats for my friend’s bookshop. Each weekend I make a delivery of cupcakes, scones, and muffins. I’m thankful for the opportunity to bake treats, but I’ll also be thankful when the bookshop/coffee shop changes ownership hands, and I will no longer be baking on such a regular basis. Since the shop is in Newton, it is sometimes a logistical nightmare to make sure they have baked goods when they are needed.

I’ve been blessed with a new niece, as well as plenty of time to enjoy her (as well as my nephew, sister and brother-in-law). As I write this, Gustav and I are enjoying the sunshine as I wait for Mormor to show up and finish out the afternoon babysitting needs. I’ll head to the doctor and then home.

I’m praying for the final weeks of school to pass quickly. As I look at the calendar I feel overwhelmed, knowing what all needs to be packed into these days and evenings. I know it is possible, and that I will get it all accomplished, but at this point I feel stress.

Blessings to you as you enter the weeks of May. Enjoy the moments as they come and go,

Erica

A New Year

2011-01-21T07:24:00.000-08:00

I’ve been meaning to sit down and write for some time now. Unfortunately, life seems to get in the way, and I don’t sit down to jot things down often enough.

Since the last time I wrote, there has been so much. Christmas has come and gone again. My Christmas tree is outside my duplex, waiting for me to take it to the back yard and take it off the base. I still have a few gifts waiting to be given, piled in the front room, but for the most part, Christmas decorations are packed away (or at least down in the basement ready to by packed away). This Christmas was a bit different in the fact that I got sick with a cold/virus the first day out, and it’s hung on until now. There were several days during break that I didn’t do much besides laying on the couch and sleeping. I had a list full of projects that I wanted to accomplish, but my body decided otherwise.

Even though I didn’t feel very good, I’m still thankful for the time spent with others during the Christmas season.

*I was able to meet Eric’s mom, and spend time with all of his family on the 26th. We had a great day full of good food and gift giving. I love this family, and I am thankful for their willingness to include me and make me feel welcome.

*I was able to meet with a friend who was recently diagnosed with celiac. We did a crash course on how to be gluten free. This is not the first time I’ve done something like this, and the more times I do it, the more I really feel that this is an area that I need to make a permanent part of my life. Maybe I can expand it into a business opportunity, or it could be that it remains as my “mission” for now. Anyway, I loved our time spent together, answering questions, and just chatting. It is my hope that she came away feeling better about her new life, and that it isn’t quite as overwhelming to her. I am thankful that she is already seeing the difference in her health!

*Eric, Heidi, Tim, Gustav and I traveled to Nebraska in Eric’s Prius over New Years. It reminded some of us of another trip we took all packed into a car with little space left for us. Even though we were tightly packed in the car, it was a great experience. The entire time I was thinking about how special a relationship I have with my sister, my brother-in-law and their family. I love them dearly, and I was near tears many times when I looked around and saw how much love there is between us all. I could also have been a TAD sad, because since Heidi is pregnant, this will be the first and last trip with us squooshed into the Prius. I guess we’ll have to figure out another mode of transport for us to squeeze into. Our time on the farm was filled with more love and laughter. I am blessed to have so many places I am able to come “home” to. The moment we round the corner and the farm is in sight, a part of me is completely at peace. I love the people, I love the food, and I love the smells and sights… Thank you farm family for the wonderful visit, and the love you show to us.

Since Christmas, my life hasn’t slowed down. It seems to get busier and busier. This last week I started classes for the second semester coursework towards my Master’s degree. This semester I will be taking an Assessment course, and a Behavior Management course. Both “should” be easy courses for me, but the sheer amount of coursework required is mind-boggling. I’ve had to color-code my planner so that nothing gets missed.

To add to the madness I’ve also decided to get my ELL/ESL (English Language Learners or English as a Second Language) endorsement. Hutchinson School district is offering to pay for the majority of my expenses for classes, and I know that these offers don’t come very often. I full realize how busy this will make me, but I also realize that if I buckle down and concentrate I can accomplish it. These classes start in March, and I need to make sure I get everything organized before then.

In addition to all of the coursework, I’ve also agreed to do bakery items for a friend’s shop in Newton. Her baker/caterer fell through, and she thought of me. I’m excited for this opportunity, although there are a few things we still need to figure out. I will be making a weekly delivery to Pages Bookshop of cinnamon rolls, scones, muffins, cupcakes, and cookies. Holly is also open to me expanding and making some gluten free selections available, so I’m eager for that as well.

Items for prayer:

*I’ve still got some chest congestion hanging on from my Christmas cold. I feel much better than I did, but I would be happy to be completely rid of the stuff!

*In general, I’m feeling much more run-down than I normally do. My migraines have been more frequent as well, so I’m not sure whether I am getting gluten inadvertently somehow. There have been many more potluck scenarios during the holidays, and I need to be smarter about how I go about those. One of my resolutions is to be much more vigilant.

*That I’m able to juggle everything. I already use all of my plan times during school time for working on course work and items for school, but I need to figure out a way that I can accomplish more during those times. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and to be honest it’s freaking me out a bit right now. I want to do well in all of the things that I’m responsible for, but I realize that it is a bit crazy of me to think I can do this all.

Season of "Gimme"

2010-12-09T10:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas is coming, and the beats and squeals of John Denver and the Muppets are sounding in my classroom.

This week we are focusing on the “Gift of the Magi” story. Once of my favorite stories, right up there with “The Christmas Carol” and “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”. I’m wondering whether it was too much to bite off for the kids in my class, but we are forcing our way through it. The big language is difficult for them, but the ideas and concepts in the story are so applicable. “My” kids need to hear a different version of the ideas of Christmas (and really, don’t we all?), not just the commercialized version that we see and hear. I’m always saddened by the idea of “gimme” instead of “giving”.

I’ve eagerly anticipated the Christmas season. I’ve been trying to discuss Christmas/Holiday traditions with the children in my classroom. When I listed off the important days in my family’s December/January calendar, their eyes became huge!
*Monday was the first day of celebration for me, with St. Nicholas day. Eric, Heidi, Tim and Gustav came over for an evening of Roast Beast, and shoe gifts. ☺ Some were too big for shoes, but there was much excitement on all of our parts as we discovered what had been left for us.
*Next comes St. Lucia day on this coming Monday. No gifts are exchanged, but it is a special day with lots of childhood memories involved. I’m just glad I no longer have to get up early and carry lighted candles on my head while singing to family members and bringing them treats. I was always jealous that they were able to wake up and have breakfast in bed.
*December 25, Christmas Day. Eric and I will celebrate for several days between the two families. We will also make a trip up to the farm over New Years, to enjoy some more Christmas celebration.
*January 6 is Three Kings Day. I’ve never celebrated this day before, but Eric is bringing this tradition with him. We always talked about the Three Kings coming in our house, but it was more attached to the time period we actually took our Christmas tree down, rather than anything else. I’m excited to add another day of celebration and another new family tradition.

Things to be thankful for:
*The trip to Chicago went well. Eric and I had a great time, and certainly not enough time. We went to the Aquarium, and a Bears game. We also ate at a few restaurants, and showed me some of the area. We’ll have to go back sometime, because there is still so much I want to see!
*I also went to Denver for a long weekend. The school has asked that I be on the Social Studies Curriculum committee as the Special Education representative. They also tapped me and asked that I go to the National Social Studies Conference in Denver. I had a wonderful time, meeting and getting to know more people from the district I now work for, as well as taking in the various parts of the conference. Usually teachers are reluctant to go to in-services and conferences because we are never sure what we will have to sit through. This was a completely different experience for me. Every session I went to was fantastic, and I was able to come back with plenty of ideas to implement in my own classroom. I also came back laden with all sorts of freebies from textbook companies and tour agencies. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to travel as part of my job!?! Someday…
*Thanksgiving weekend brought family from near and far, as well Eric’s safe arrival in Kansas. For good. ☺ There was, and is, much to be thankful for! I had a great time with the Buller family members, and I always enjoy my time catching up with the cousins. I have been blessed by a wonderful, supportive family (both Johnson and Buller sides). I also was able to spend time with Eric’s side of the family, and the Wallaces did a great job of making me feel welcome.
*Work continues to be a place that I find joy. I love the people I’m working with. I love the people I’m working for. I love the subject matter I am teaching. I love the kids that I’m working with…. Life is good. Eric also seems to be enjoying his new job (started Dec. 6), and I’m impressed with all the people he’s already met. I’m hopeful that he will find as much joy at his new job as I have with mine.
*I’ve been busily making cookies to celebrate the Christmas season. Last night I made gluten free Spritz cookies, and I have to say it was a huge success! There have been several recipes that have proven difficult to convert, and I’m happy to say that these are no longer on that list! Also on the table at home are peanut butter kisses, chocolate oatmeal nobake cookies, and white chocolate peppermint brittle. I think I may have to make another round of Spritz, fudge and possibly try some cutout sugar cookies to decorate. Oh, and I’ll need a few volunteers to eat it all!

Christmas blessings to all of you! Take time to count the things you have to be thankful for!

Heidi is begging again...

2010-10-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

Or in fact, she's being pretty pushy with her demands about a new blog post. She feels that I have much to share, and she's probably right!

Life in Hutch is going very well. All of my feelings of wonder and excitement are still here, even after almost 9 weeks of the school year. Each day I look forward to going to work, a feeling that I haven't had in a long time. There are still times I don't want to get out of bed, but that's more because I don't want to leave the warm little nest I've created.

I'm currently doing a novel study with my literature classes. We're reading the book "Holes", by Louis Sachar. I love this book, and I was eager to have another class to read it with (I taught it during my student teaching). The kids seem to be loving it, although most have seen the movie which is providing problems. The book is always better, but it's hard to convince children of that!

I'm thankful for the friendships I've already made here in Hutchinson. I know that I've been blessed. The people I work with are looking out for me and including me in their invitations. There are times that I feel like I'm never home, and as I look at my calendar I realize that I rarely am. This is "normal" for me, although my "normal" schedule involves me doing more massage/work in the evenings and not as much hanging out. I'm sure that will change again whenever my "newness" rubs off. In the meantime, I'm very thankful.

Since my last posting I've also had several wonderful things to attend. These are in no particular order, just as I thought of them!
*My favorite weekend of the year (3rd weekend in September) rolled around, and with it the beautiful music and surroundings that is the Walnut Valley Festival.
*I've been able to attend the wine tasting that I go to with my friends Cindy and Phil. The art, tapas and wine pairings are always wonderful, and an enjoyable time spent with friends. This year the highlight may have been Julia Child (in drag), who made appearances at each of the tapas/wine tables.
*My friend, Chris, also threw a wine party. It was fun to sit outside on a beautiful evening with a roaring fire. Lots of good conversations and wonderful food.
*Shalom's Brew Club had an apple picking afternoon and evening. We harvested apples, and then turned them into cider. It was a wonderful family experience, and it was nice to be able to spend time with Heidi, Tim and Gustav, in addition to all of my wonderful church family members.
*Heidi and Tim hosted Hutoberfest. Always good to see the people they invite and taste the good foods brought. Each year it seems to get bigger and better!
*Pedicures with my friend Whitney and my cousin Carmen. Ultimate pampering for my birthday, plus a dinner at P.F. Changs! Love their gluten free menu!
*My birthday was on the 23rd of September. I have had many (MANY) opportunities to celebrate. Thank you for thinking of me! I truly have felt very special.

Things to look forward to:
*Tonight I get to see my friend, Becca, and her little family. It's been several months since we've seen each other, which doesn't make much sense since we live so close to each other.
*Tomorrow evening I get to go hear Straight, No Chaser in concert for the second time. The put on a phenomenal concert, and I can't wait to go again.
*Friday evening I leave to spend a few days in Chicago. Which brings me to the information Heidi is really wanting me to share! :) (Love you, Heidi) I have a boyfriend. He currently lives in Chicago, but will be moving to Kansas soon. Buller family members, you'll get to meet him at Thanksgiving. Johnson family members, we're hoping to go to the farm over New Years, so that may be your chance to meet him. If you don't fit into the Johnson or Buller categories, feel free to email me and we'll figure out another time to see each other!

Love to all of you,
Erica

God IS working His purpose out!

2010-09-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

The last months have been filled with stress and heartache, and yet so much happiness as well. It was hard for me to make the decisions that led up to me leaving Marion, but it is evident that I made the right decisions. As much as I hated to leave my church family and friends, God has had His hand in it all, and I know that He has good things in store for me.

Thanks to all that helped me move! The crew that helped load the truck and the crew that unloaded in Hutchinson both did a great job. It was a busy and very hot day, and I am thankful for all that volunteered their time. What added more stress to the entire event was the fact that I wasn’t able to stay in Hutchinson and unpack everything. Instead I spent most of the rest of the weekend in Hutch, only to drive back and teach another 2 weeks of summer school in Marion. It is difficult knowing that you have so much work waiting for you (unpacking), and that you aren’t able to go and do it. That last 2 weeks was a good time for me too, because it meant that I had 2 weeks devoted to spending time and making memories with my good friends in Marion. Thanks to Julie and Quinn, and Kym and Troy who opened their homes to me when I was homeless! Thanks for the meals, the beds, the running water, and especially the time spent together talking and laughing!

Before leaving Marion, I took in 2 different trainings, one on Reiki (for use with massage therapy) and the other on Macs. It’s been many years since I’ve worked on Apple computers, but my new position in Hutch requires me to. I wanted to make sure I had brushed up on my Apple skills before being confronted with an entire class full of kids staring at me, and me not being able to bring up the activities I want. Both classes went well, and I’ve already used many things I learned in those days.

Tuesday, August 10th, brought the first day I needed to report in Hutchinson. It was a day filled of training for Special Education teachers new to the Hutchinson district. The following 3 days were new-teacher trainings for Hutchinson. After that came a week full of trainings and meetings for all teachers that work for Hutchinson.

We’ve had two full weeks of school with kids now, and I have to say, I LOVE my job! I love the people I am working with, I love the subjects I am teaching, and I’m really excited about the kids (I can’t say I love them yet…but I’m sure that before the year is out, I’ll love them too!). I’ve been so impressed with the levels of support built into the Hutchinson school district. I’ve got a mentor teacher (even though this is my 8th year of teaching), I have a “professional friend” (a different person who is assigned to make sure I have everything I need, as well as invitations to events, and a person to sit next to in trainings, etc…), the teachers I am working with have all been really supportive, and I’m enjoying my time with them. The administrators that I work with consistently show their support of their staff (what a refreshing concept!); I’ve got two great paraprofessionals that work for me… My list could go on and on…

The unpacking is coming to a close. Most everything has found a home, and I’m anticipating being completely done with it by the end of the week. The only room that isn’t unpacked at this point is the room that will be my office and massage room. I’ve already got people asking when I’ll be ready for clients, so I’m happy that that is all falling into place too!

Thank you for the many prayers you’ve said on my behalf! I appreciate them so much! Please make sure to drop by next time you are in the area! I would love to show off my new home and I love having company!

Much love,
Erica

Bit by bit...

2010-07-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

The summer is seeping away.

I was supposed to babysit a daughter of one of my friends each day, but that fell through the day before it was supposed to start. While I was disappointed, I know God had a hand in it all. My summer has been jam packed even without that time, and I know that HE made it so that my schedule this summer was more manageable!

People ask what has kept me so busy, and I honestly can't point to one thing and say "that's it!". My life is normally very busy, and while I often wish for it to slow down (and think that summer will be the magical time of the year when it finally does!), I don't know that I would actually enjoy the slower pace if it were ever to appear.

I've been glad to have the time this summer to visit my grandparents, uncle, and aunt on the farm with my parents. We went to enjoy the Chautauqua that was in North Platte for almost a week. It was nice to have the time to enjoy the afternoon sessions and spend time together in the evenings learning about the 30's and the Great Depression. Really interesting stuff, and very applicable to what is happening today.

I've also had the freedom to pick up and spend time with Heidi, Tim and Gustav. I've been able to do some babysitting when it was needed, and I always love anytime I get to spend with my nephew!

I'm slowly packing up my house at 912 Highland. Every couple of weeks I make a trip to Hutch to check on the new place, get the mail, do additional cleaning, pick up things at the school. I also make a point of taking a full car-load of items at the same time and unpacking them while I'm there. Hopefully it will mean less stress on moving day, and less stress to unpack before school starts!

Moving day is set for July 24. I'm unsure as to how many people will be showing up to help, and this is an item that is a bit stressful for me right now. I'm sure it will all work itself out, but until the actual day I will continue to worry that there won't be enough people. I'm also praying for a cool, cloudy day, with no rain. July can be beastly in KS!

I've been fairly busy at the massage clinic these weeks of summer. While I was anticipating no longer working at the clinic after the last week of July, I believe that Carolan and I have come to an agreement that I will still come back to Marion once per month to help with Saturday clients. This will be good for both of us, I think! I'll get to keep some of my clients (hopefully), plus I'll be able to visit some of my loved ones on a fairly regular basis! I am continuing to plan for and prepare for opening my own massage business in Hutch. It is another item that I worry about, because I've got a client base built up in Marion, and now I'll be starting over. I'm sure God will have his hand in that too.

As I write this, I'm sitting at my cousin's house in Omaha. Craig and Jen invited me to come up for a few days. It has been great to be able to spend time with them. We've spent the evenings drinking wine and catching up. While they are at work during the day I've just stayed at their house and caught up on some of the work I've been avoiding as far as looking through my new curriculum for Hutch. I've actually enjoyed the time that I've spent looking through my teacher manuals, and figuring out which books are used and when. I'm really excited about what the next year will bring and the types of lessons I'll be able to teach! I've also been working on creating items for my MAC class that I've been taking this summer (sidenote: The SPED teachers all get MACs at my new school, and I've been working on a PC for many years. While I used a MAC in college for newspaper, it has been awhile. I was confident that it wouldn't take much to figure it all out again, I also decided that it was worth taking a summer class, as well as being able to have some more credit hours!, so that I don't look like an idiot those first days of school). Yesterday Jen and I met at Whole Foods for lunch, and then I spent much of the rest of the afternoon poking around in that store, going up and down each and every aisle. I left with purchases for myself and for my sister (somehow she got more than I did!). I could so easily live in a big city! :) Today I went out and had to buy a cooler to take my purchases home with. This is something I actually needed, so I don't feel so bad about it! I'm forever having to borrow one from people when I need to transport things, so it will be good to have one of my own now! I believe that this evening Jen and I will be going to get pedicures while Craig has a late meeting, and then we'll all meet for dinner somewhere. This little visit has been wonderful, and very restful for me! Thank you Craig and Jen!

This last Sunday marked the last time I would sing at Marion Presby Church. The last several times I've attended I've been much more emotional, and I know that it is because this church has been such a special place for me for my time in Marion. They love me and it is evident! I was dreading this last Sunday because I was doubtful as to whether I would actually get through the song without dissolving into tears. I was able to, but just barely. Pastor Jeremiah said some very nice things about me right before I sang, and I nearly lost my grip! I will miss this congregation, but know that I can always come back to visit easily.

While I've been in Omaha one of the things I've needed to work on is my Grad School Loans, and financing things. This morning I spent quite a bit of time looking at it all. From what I can determine, I've been awarded a Teacher Scholarship from the State of KS, and it will cover all of my expenses as far as college hours. While I haven't gotten my formal letter in the mail yet, the money is showing up in my financial aid package, so I'm very optimistic! I'm still going to take some loan money to cover expenses like books, etc. This scholarship is wonderful, and will help relieve some of the financial burden that schooling can be! This is a scholarship I also got for several years of my undergrad work. It is set up like a forgivable loan program, where as many years as I get the scholarship, I promise to work that many years in Special Education. If my circumstances change (as far as I decide to get out of teaching, or I change to teaching something besides SPED) then I will be responsible for repaying whatever is left from the loan/scholarship as far as how much time is left. I am rejoicing that it all seems to be working out!

Thank you!

2010-06-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you to those of you who have sent up prayers on my behalf since my last post. All 3 items of prayer have been taken care of! :)

1) Facebook can be a blessing, although sometimes just as much a curse, I'm sure! In this case it was a blessing, as it greatly eased my responsibilities regarding breaking the news to the children in my classroom. I have several parents that have "friended" me on facebook, and thankfully they did much of the "dirty" work. I am thankful for the private conversations they had with their children, and how the kids handled it. The kids spread it to each other, but I was amazed at how well 3rd and 4th grade students processed it and shared with each other. Don't get me wrong...there were tears shed by me, and many tears shed by the children, but overall it was a very smooth conversation and much easier on me than it could have been.

2) I have found a WONDERFUL place to live. After a day spent traipsing through some hell-holes and being bitten by fleas, my last appointment of the day was a little bit of heaven. A 2 bedroom duplex, that is just a bit more expensive than what I was hoping for, but still within my price range. Beautiful wood floors, clean and well taken care of, and with very good landlords from what I can tell. Knowing that I couldn't afford to rent 2 places until my move, I wasn't thinking that I would have much luck looking so early. I am so thankful that they are working with me, and made a special deal with me that I could pay 1 month's worth of rent for June and July (basically 2 months for the price of 1), plus a reduced deposit. The duplex came with appliances, but quickly agreed to move them all out so that I could keep my own. Such a relief that I won't have to figure out how to sell everything before moving! Best of all, even though the duplex was advertised as a no-pet property, they have agreed to let me keep my kitty, Manje, and aren't even charging me a pet deposit. I even offered to make her an outside only cat, but they said that as long as she was litter trained that it would be OK. My new place is very (VERY) close to the Cosmosphere. Please stop by and visit! I love to host people in my home!

3) After many worries over whether I would be able to do a home-based business (Massage Therapy), I have been pleasantly surprised. I have been officially approved to have a home-based massage business. The formal process only took about 20 minutes of my time (and was in the same building that I needed to go to anyway to get my utilities turned on--convenient!) As long as I promise not to have more than 3 people working for me or more than 5 people for massage therapy on the property (all this in a two-bedroom house?!?!?!)---and really there were a few more things that I agreed to--the city of Hutchinson is OK with me. I even have an official letter saying so! :)

So far the summer has not gone as I anticipated, but things are working out for the best. I was supposed to be babysitting during the day for the daughter of one of my friends. My friend had said that at some point her fall day-care option might open up (she was thinking mid July) and at that point she wouldn't need me to babysit. Instead, the position opened up the last week of May. So...I haven't been babysitting. Somehow my time has been filled anyway, and I'm thankful for all the ways things have fallen into place. I really feel God's presence in my life right now, and I feel like I am moving in the direction that He wants me to go in. I've made several trips to Hutchinson to clean the duplex, go to my classroom at the 8th grade building, and figure out utilities/details that moving to a new home consist of. While I know I would be able to get it all done even if I had been babysitting, I have to say that it has been very stress-free so far... I'm also thankful for the ease in picking up and driving to Newton to spend time with family...I've been able to stay overnight many times (Thanks Hubers!), spending afternoons and evenings canning, laughing, talking, watching EuroVision, grocery shopping with Heidi(One of my favorite activities!!!!), making Elderflower syrup, working at the massage clinic... So much to be thankful for!

Things to look forward to:

*Travelling to see family in Hershey, Nebraska and taking in the Chautauqua activities.
*Travelling to see family in Omaha, Nebraska.
*Several concerts
*Spending time with family and friends at the reservoir and county lake
*Spending time with family and friends; going out to lunches/dinner and just spending moments together!
*Canning and preserving fruits and vegetables.

Again, thank you to those of you who have sent up a prayer (or two!) on my behalf!

Much love to you all!
Erica

I'm resigned.

2010-05-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

I've got 3.5 days of school left with students, and 1.5 inservice/work days after that. After those 5 days I will be done with my teaching career at Marion Elementary School. As of about 11:15 a.m. today, I have resigned my position with MCSEC. I will live in Marion through most of the summer, and anticipate moving sometime at the end of July or beginning of August. I will be teaching summer school here in Marion the last 2 weeks of July and the 1st week of August. Since I'm not wanting to rent for that week in August (more specifically I don't want to pay rent and utilities on 2 houses), I will most likely be house hopping for that last bit of time in August. Hopefully my friends will be generous and open their homes to me for a bit of time! :)

The last several months have been filled with stress and sorrow as I've watched the progression of things. While I'm under no allusion that my stress will end, I do think that it will be a different kind of stress.

I will be starting a new teaching position in the middle of August at Hutchinson Middle School. I will be a special education teacher, teaching 5 sections of literature, and 1 section (team taught with reg. ed.) of social studies. I've always thought that my "perfect" job would be working for a publishing company in the young adult division. I'm hopeful that my love of YA lit will mesh perfectly with my new position. I'm very excited about the possibilities that the new school year may bring.

In the meantime, please pray:
*That I can figure out how to break the news to the kids in my classroom.
*I will be able to find a nice place to live. I'd like to have at least 2 bedrooms and be able to keep my cat. I'm not so sure about her wanting to keep me! :)
*That I will be able to figure out how to make the massage angle work. I will be sad to leave our massage clinic here in Marion, and want to be able to continue working with massage. Currently Hutch is having zoning discussions about having businesses run out of the home, so I'm uncertain how this will all work out. I would prefer having a home-based business so that I can control a bit more and not have to pay additional rent.

Right now

2010-03-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

A friend posted this on Facebook earlier today. I've read an email that circulated awhile back that was very similar, but this is worth a watch. It hits home right now, considering the situation we're facing with the cooperative I work for. The last month or so of my life have been filled with turmoil. I don't feel like I can share right now what all has gone on and is going on, but I would appreciate it if you kept me in your thoughts and prayers. The entire experience has left me feeling very much alone and as if I have little control over anything.

1, 2, 3, 4….5…6, 7, 8, 9, 10….11…12…13!!!!

2010-02-27T16:20:00.000-08:00

The other night when Heidi, Tim and Gustav came over I sang this to Heidi to see whether she could remember the song and where it came from. She did. Do you?

This past week I’ve been singing this song quite a bit. We’re counting down the days until state testing, and to help prepare have turned our little small groups into test prep groups. We’ve each taken a state standard and planned several days’ worth of activities for our groups, and then rotated the groups so that each child in the grade will have a session with that particular standard. Because of how few days we have left, one of our groups got combined with another group, and now instead of the 3 or 4 students that a small group normally consists of, my group was made up of 12 students…plus me (everyone shout now—13!!). I sang that song over and over this week as I gave questions to my “small” group, and each time a hand would raise with an answer, I would count them as I sang this song. The kids loved it…and I finally asked whether any of them knew this song. Nope. Guess I’m officially old. I explained that this was a song from one of my favorite shows growing up. “Teletubbies” they guessed. “Barney!” they shouted out… ok, maybe I’m getting younger?  I explained it was a show that is around now, but would have also been around when I was a little girl… This stumped them until one of them guessed “Ben and Jerry”…well, I guess black and white cartoons are getting closer…or at least older… Finally one of them guessed Sesame Street, although none of them had heard this song when they watched. It’s too bad, since I loved watching the pinball machine knock around as the ball hit each peg and a number was sung… I remember looking forward to it each day as I watched, hoping that this would be the day that it would be shown again.

Heidi’s been begging for another blog (I truly think she’s the only one who reads this thing…and we talk often enough that she knows everything before I would write something down and post it) so here it is…

As I thought about what I wanted to write today, there are several things that popped into my head. There’s been a lot going on in my life, and while some of it I would like to share, I really can’t. I am bound my confidentiality responsibilities in my jobs, and I must honor them, even when those things are the things in my life that cause me the most sadness, that give me the most happiness, or those things that I just need to process through writing about it. I’ll just leave it to say that I’ve shed a lot of tears lately. The tears come at times that are understandable…they come at times when I can’t make them stop, no matter how hard I try…there are times that the tears come and there appears to be no good reason for them… a few will drop as I laugh… I don’t feel depressed (please don’t worry about that), there’s just a lot going on in all aspects of my life right now and it seems that tears are the way my body is dealing with it all.

One of the titles I considered today was “Small Successes”, but in reality I’ve got a lot of LARGE successes in my life right now.
1) I just got the letter that I was deemed eligible to take my National Massage Exam. This is a very difficult exam, and most do not pass it on the first try. Kansas law does not regulate massage therapists, but most states require the national test as one of the hurdles you need to jump to be able to practice massage. Not knowing what the future holds for me, I’d rather take (and hopefully pass!) the exam so that I can easily be able to practice in another state if/when I ever decide to move. That and the fact that it provides another aspect of credibility to me and my massage practice. Who knows when Kansas will finally become wise and start patrolling the field of Massage Therapy. Hopefully it will be soon (there are too many people out there practicing who don’t know what they are doing, and give us all a bad reputation!), and then I will be ready. I need to finalize my test date, but I’m hoping to take it sometime during Spring Break in March.
2) I also got my acceptance letter from Fort Hays State University. This fall I will be “heading back to” college to pursue a Master’s Degree in Special Education. This is completely online, so I won’t have to give up my teaching position or move. I’ll be busy between teaching, working at the clinic, and taking classes, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to juggle it all. The last weeks have been full of writing personal letters, asking friends and colleagues to write recommendations on my behalf and researching how to make it all happen. I’ve gotten my taxes completed (at least my portion!) and taken them to my tax guy. I am hoping they get done quickly so that I can then complete the FAFSA and start applying for scholarships.
3) Wine making experiment one is almost complete. After watching my science experiment for the last few weeks, I needed some man-power. I convinced Heidi, Tim and Gustav to come over for dinner and afterwards Tim and Gustav helped me bottle my Riesling. It’ll be another 3 months before there will be any to drink. Tim was a great help to me in the process, and Gustav was so cute trying to hold the bottles still for me as we filled them. Now that we’ve got one bottled, I better start on another…either mead or a red wine this time.
4) After several weekend attempts at baking sweet rolls, I’ve finally got a good result. A couple weeks ago I was browsing in Heidi’s bookstore and stumbled across another gluten free cookbook. Normally I’m pretty leery of gluten free recipes…there are too many people out there that are satisfied with mediocrity…either they are gluten intolerant people who never really had a taste of what GOOD baking is supposed to taste like, or they are “normal” people who think that those of us that are gluten intolerant should just be satisfied with whatever they come up with. There are so many products on the market (they are SOOOO expensive) that just taste like CRAP. I’m sick of buying products and throwing them away. I’ve narrowed it down to a few brands that I trust, and I’d really rather go hungry than try to eat some of what is on the market. Sorry, I’ve probably offended someone now, but sometimes I just need to rant.  But, I digress… Anyway, I decided to buy the book at Heidi’s store because I feel like I need to help support the people I love and the places they work, and I’m always hoping that somehow this product/book/gadget will actually come through and help me make the foods I’ve loved to prepare and eat for so much of my life. In this case…I might have actually stumbled across something that lived up to my high expectations! Yippee!!!

Of course, this book also called for flours that aren’t readily available in my pantry, or at the health food store or grocery stores that I frequent. So, I turned to the internet (although Terri, if you’re reading this, I think that your health food store has this brand!) and ordered some of the flour that I needed. After last week’s flopped cinnamon rolls, I was reluctant to try again. After all, that batch went directly into the trash. I’m so glad that I tried again!

Cinnamon Rolls (adapted from “Gluten-Free Baking Classics” by Annalise G. Roberts)
Dough:

7 TBSP milk, heated to 110 degrees F (I ended up using more than this…the dough wouldn’t hold together and resembled pie crust. I just added milk until it looked like I thought it should. Sorry, I’ll try to measure better next time!)
1 TBSP yeast
¼ tsp. sweet rice flour
¼ cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
2 TBSP canola oil
1 ¾ cup Brown Rice Flour blend (see recipe after this one)
1 ¼ tsp. xanthan gum
½ tsp. salt
Rice flour (about 2 TBSP to use to flour the board)
1 TBSP melted butter

Combine warm milk, yeast, 1 TBSP of the sweet rice flour, and 1 TBSP of the sugar in a measuring cup; stir until well blended. Cover with a towel and set aside for 5-10 minutes until mixture becomes foamy. Mix eggs and canola oil together in a small bowl and set aside. Lightly grease a round cake pan with cooking spray. Mix brown rice flour mix, xanthan gum, salt, and remaining 3 TBSP sweet rice flour and 3 TBSP sugar in large bowl of electric mixer. Add warm milk/yeast mixture, egg and oil to the bowl; mix until blended. Scrape bowl and beaters and then beat at high speed for 3 minutes. Liberally spread rice flour over surface of a wooden board and lightly flour hands. (I spread saran wrap over a cutting board, and then sprinkled with the rice flour). Dough will be sticky. Roll dough around in the rice flour until it is lightly covered. Gently press into a 12x8 inch rectangle with your hands. (I was actually able to roll it with a rolling pin after covering it with the rice flour). Lightly brush the melted butter over the rolled dough. The recipe also has a mixture to put in the inside, but I just covered the butter with cinnamon and sugar the way I’ve always baked. Carefully roll dough, do not roll dough tightly; the individual rolls will rise better if they are more loosely rolled. Using a small, sharp knife cut roll of dough into eight 1-inch slices. Carefully arrange slices I prepared cake pan so that they do not touch. Cover with a light cloth and let rise in a warm place until rolls have doubled or more in size and have filled the pan. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bake about 20 minutes.

Brown Rice Flour blend
2 parts brown rice flour (extra finely ground—available under the Authentic Foods label—the others aren’t ground finely enough to use without leaving a gritty feeling in the mouth)
2/3 part potato starch (NOT potato flour!)
1/3 part tapioca flour

**Today’s baking experiment was so successful that I’m going to fiddle with the dough some more and see if I can bake some bierocks with it tomorrow night. I’ve got the filling done, so I just will need to make the dough after church.

****UPDATE 2/28/10 I made the dough again today. I used about 14 TBSP of milk instead of the listed 7. I used the sugar to raise the yeast, but omitted the rest of it so that I could make savory Bierocks with the dough. Once the dough was mixed, I made small round balls with it, and rolled them in brown rice flour and then rolled them out. I filled them with a mixture of ground beef,onion, cabbage, salt, pepper and mustard. After baking them, I brushed them with melted butter. YUMMY. I've eaten way too many today! I'll have to put them in the freezer after I give a few more away! There are some things that I have missed so much...so happy to be able to eat them again!

5) Another gluten free baking success! This last week I saw a recipe like this online, and decided to see whether I would like it. I do! Very yummy. I left them without icing to cut out some fat and calories, but they would taste good with cream cheese frosting, chocolate frosting, or peanut butter frosting I think! Maybe next time….

Gluten Free Banana Muffins/cupcakes
1 box gluten free yellow cake mix (betty crocker brand)
3 bananas, mashed
1/3 cup butter, melted
1/3 cup water
3 eggs, beaten
2 tsp. vanilla

I melted the butter in a saucepan on the stove, adding the water and vanilla. I also freeze my bananas, so I took the peels off of them and put them in the mixture to warm up and then mash. After taking it off the stove, I put the yellow cake mix in and beat in the eggs. When everything was moist I put it in the muffin tins. Bake at 350 for about 18 min. or so. It would also be great in loaf form, or as banana cake.

I’ve also got an appointment tomorrow afternoon. One of the students at school just recently got diagnosed with Celiac and her mother needs ideas of what to do and how to alter recipes. I’m hopeful that I can be a resource to these people. If nothing else, I can at least introduce them to some good books, products to try…and be a listening ear!

And now for a few pictures...these are a mixture of the last two Huber visits. Newsworthy items: Popcorn is a big hit with Gustav and Heidi. Tim, Gustav and I spent time making wine. Gustav went poop for the first time at my house, bribed with M&Ms and Curious George.

Success!

2010-01-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

I just completed my first (although it won't be the last!) batch of Gluten Free New Year's Cookies! They taste great, although not exactly like the MCC version. Thanks to my friend Julie from Mennonite Girls Can Cook. I altered her recipe just a bit simply because I didn't have any arrowroot. Instead I substituted cornstarch. It worked out just fine.

In a previous post I lamented the fact that I hate the taste of white bean flour. I was convinced to give it another shot by Julie who grinds her own flour. She sent me a little package of flour though the mail...wonder what people would have thought if they intercepted that and saw that it was full of some powdery white substance! :) As promised, Julie's flour had just a bit of the beany taste to it, but none when baked into things. Encouraged by this I bought a flour mill and decided to start grinding my own flour. Unfortunately, it didn't work out as well as I thought it would, and I only could get the flour to a "stone ground" consistency, which won't work with most of my baking. Discouraged, I tried to figure out what to do next. I finally decided that a coffee grinder would work, and so I bought a new one to only use with grinding flours. When I grind the beans at the espresso setting, and run them through 3 times, I finally get the consistency I want. Then I sifted that to get the bigger chunks out. The end product worked great in my recipe today!

Julie's Recipe for New Year's Cookies (Portzelke)
1/2 cup warm water
1 tsp. sugar
1 TBSP yeast
Mix first 3 ingredients and let proof in a warm spot.
Liquid Ingredients
1/2 cup warm milk
1 tsp melted butter
1 tsp. vinegar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg
Dry Ingredients
1/2 cup white bean flour
1/2 cup white rice flour
1/4 cup sorghum flour
1/4 cup potato starch
2 TBSP arrowroot flour (I used 3 TBSP corn starch)
1 rounded tsp. xanthan gum
1 tsp. bakingpowder
1/2 tsp. salt
3 slightly rounded TBSP sugar
1 cup raisins

In mixing bow put in liquid ingredients and beat. Add proofed yeast. Mix dry ingredients and add all at once to liquid. Beat on low until blended, then on high until dough is smooth. Add raisins and beat until mixed evenly. Scrape sides of bowl dw with spatula to form a ball of dough in bottom of bowl. Cover and let rise in warm spot for 30-40 minutes. Heat aout 3/4 inch of oil in a pot or small frying pan. When hot, drop by tsp. a dollop of dough into the ol and fry until golden. I glazed them when I was done, but I know that some people sprinkle sugar on theirs.

Joyous New Year!

2010-01-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

School as started again, after a very quick break for Christmas and New Years. I spent most of my "at home" time (the time actually spent in Marion) going through closets and doing general house cleaning.

Christmas Eve I drove home to Hesston. The drive that normally takes 35 minutes or so was well over an hour of hard work driving in zero visibility conditions. It also involved getting stuck in a snow drift not even 2 blocks from my house. I am thankful for good friends and neighbors who help when I come knocking on the door! It took us about 5 minutes, but I was able to get the car out, and I was on my way again! :) I was so glad to finally reach Hesston, and that I made it there with no other mishaps. My nice warm bed at Mom and Dad's was also a blessing!

Christmas day was spent at Mom and Dad's and the rest of the crew showed up mid-morning. We had fun spending time together, giving and receiving presents, and eating the wonderful meal of Raclette that Mom prepared. Highlights of the day: watching Heidi open up her Kitchenaide Mixer; discovering that Gustav has a fear of B-U-Gs; watching Tim's eyes light up as he talked about his plans for his Christmas money and gift certificates; joking with Dad about his new GPS system; enjoying Mom's new tea pot as we played Scrabble and tried to gang up on Tim... I love to spend time with my family, and I realize how blessed I am to have them in my life.

The day after Christmas I spent my time preparing for a catering gig. I traipsed over the hill and through the woods (it felt like it!) carrying large, unwieldy items through the snow and into the Elgin for most of the day. One of my friends, Kym, had referred me to her son as a possible caterer for his wedding. Everything turned out wonderfully in the end (and there have been many nice things said in reference to the cooking), but it was a hectic day for me. Breakers blew, I had to serve out of a closet, warming food up all over the hotel without a proper kitchen, organizing serving help, and general mayhem governed my day. I was glad it went well, but I was also glad to crawl into bed that night. **I was happy to be able to provide a completely gluten free meal (except for the rolls) since his wife has celiac as well!

More time in the next few days was spent cleaning up my house from catering odds and ends, and taking down my tree and Christmas decorations. It seems that I have a lot more room in my house, and it was with a lot of sadness that I put everything in boxes. For some reason the Christmas season passed by more quickly than in other years. I realize that it was the same amount of days, but I'm saddened to realize that maybe I didn't spend enough time in ANTICIPATION during those days. Normally I am sick of the Christmas songs that are playing on the radio, in stores, etc...and in some ways have wished Christmas to come sooner in the past. That is also regrettable...maybe this "wanting more" feeling is better? Maybe I just won't put away all my Christmas music yet, and in that way prolong the Christmas season...after all, there IS snow on the ground...as long as I don't look at the calendar I should be ok!

New Year's Eve Mom, Dad and I drove up to NE to spend time with my mom's family. We didn't get off as early as anticipated that morning, due to a mechanical problem with their vehicle. Instead, we spent time trying to fix the problem--all solutions for the problem led to the term "Redneck"... I had fun teasing Dad about what all of his neighbors would think of this! We finally decided just to take my vehicle, so I've now broken in my new Mitsubishi on a longish road trip. Driving through NE was beautiful! The drifts were HUGE, and the sculpting of snow by wind amazes me. The farm is always a special place for me. I love to spend time with my family there. We spend a lot of time laughing and teasing, playing games with each other, reading and relaxing, curled up next to the wood stove or fire place, eating good food, and just being with each other. I know that we were all glad that Heidi, Tim and Gustav were able to join us this year after 3 years of not being together.

As always, the break seemed to slip by and I still have a list of things that I need to get accomplished. I'll just have to break it down and do one thing each night and get it done. Somehow I don't see that happening! :)

I am beginning the process of admittance to Grad School for FALL 2010. Last fall I had researched different options, and had narrowed it down to either Fort Hays State, or Wichita State. Both offer online masters programs, which would work best for me. I can continue teaching and still take my classes. This morning I sent in my application for FHSU, and have been busy asking my director and coworkers to submit letters of recommendation for me. I need to spend some time over the next few days writing a letter of personal statement. If any of you have done this yourself, I'd welcome a copy to look over. Once that it all in place I need to start the scholarship process. My list of things "to do" won't be getting any smaller anytime soon!

Happy New Year to all of you!
With love,
Erica

"New" recipes

2009-11-25T12:03:00.000-08:00

I've been baking again. This time I'm not really creating, but altering some well-loved recipes so that I can eat them.

With the Thanksgiving and Christmas season come many memories of tastes I love. As the years go by, I'm sure that I'll have the chance to recreate many of the things I miss. For now I've tackled peppernuts and dill bread.

My cousin Patrick, who was also recently diagnosed with celiac, called me about a month ago wondering about how to go about making peppernuts. Which flours should be used, etc... Peppernuts were not something that I had thought about yet, but when there is more than just me involved, I have more of a reason to start playing. Sometimes it seems like a waste to bake, since it is just me that will eat it all...so although it is something I love to do, it hasn't been a priority lately. Honestly, I'm thankful that Patrick has joined my "team" (and yes, I realize that is very selfish!)...I realize that it is probably a burden for him and for Abbe, but for me it means that there is someone I can call and talk to; someone I can brainstorm with and exchange thoughts and suggestions with; someone that misses the same things I do... It's actually very comforting for me.

When he first called I made some suggestions on where to start for flour mixes. He called his Grandma Schmidt and got the anise Recipe he grew up with, while I focused on the Buller family recipe. One of the people I've met up with on this journey and befriended is Julie from the website Mennonite Girls Can Cook. A fellow celiac, she shares her Mennonite recipes that have been altered to be gluten free. We've been teaming up to figure out a better version of zwiebach, but that has taken a backseat at this point. I figured that I should send an email off to Julie and see whether she had done anything with peppernuts before I tried reinventing the wheel. She hadn't, but was happy to help me as I tried to figure out what would work. She quickly came up with a recipe that would work, and sent it back to me. What followed was a wonderful experience! :) I tried making peppernuts with the flour mix that she suggested. As I mixed them up, I tasted between each addition to see how the dough changed. After the last addition I tasted again, and promptly threw the dough in the trash. While that sounds awful...the truth is that I've finally figured out what tastes so bad to me in gluten free baking and that makes me want to jump up and down and clap my hands. I've been baking for a year now, and I had never been able to determine what it was, but now I KNOW!!!! My mouth and stomach can not stand bean flours. I can not even describe what the taste does to me. I didn't want to completely abandon the idea though, so I tried to figure out what else I could use. What follows is my take on the original Buller recipe (with many thanks to Julie for her help! Her take on the recipe is on the MGCC website!). ***Disclaimer: I'm still fiddling with this recipe. When I baked them out, they became very flat, not the rounded ones I grew up with. The taste (which is most important!) is there though! :)

Gluten Free Peppernuts
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup butter, creamed
1 egg
2 rounded tsp. sour cream or plain yogurt

Add:
1 cup sweet white sorghum flour
1/ cup teff flour
1/2 cup potato starch
1 rounded tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/8 tsp. cloves
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup chopped nuts

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

Today I'm preparing for our annual family Thanksgiving celebration. With such a large family, it isn't fair to expect one person to do all the cooking, so for as long as I can remember, each family has contributed to the feast. As the cousins have grown up we've also started being responsible for different aspects of the meal. Since I've always loved baking I started volunteering to bring the bread for the day when Grandma B was no longer able to. Even with my celiac diagnosis I've continued to make the breads. Today I made 2 loaves of white bread and one loaf of gluten free bread. Last year I brought only "regular" breads, figuring that I wouldn't miss it with so much other food on the table. I wish that had been the case. This year I'm bringing bread so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on something.

One of my favorite breads is Dill bread. When I was in college Carmen and Patrick's grandmother, Helen Schmidt, adopted me and invited me to all the family meals. This may sound strange to those of you who realize that I went to college less than 40 miles from where I grew up, but I've decided that a person can never have too many grandparents, too many cousins, too many family members.... At every meal I was invited to, Grandma Schmidt would have zwiebach and dill bread. I could never eat enough of the dill bread...slice after slice (and now I know just how bad that was for me!)... Grandma Schmidt is coming to our Buller Thanksgiving tomorrow. I can't wait to have her try my Gluten Free version of the bread she's made for so many meals! :)

Gluten Free Dill Bread (original recipe from the More-with-Less Cookbook)

Dissolve:
1 pkg. yeast (in the Pamela's Bread Mix)
1/4 cup warm water

Combine in Mixing Bowl:
1 pkg Pamela's Bread Mix
2 t. dill seed
1/2 T. minced onion (if using dried minced onion, rehydrate before putting in)

In measuring cup combine:
1 cup cottage cheese
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup oil
warm water to fill until 1 3/4 cup mark

Stir well to combine. Let rice in greased bowl to double in size. Punch down. Put into a bread pan. Let rise again. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Remove from pans and brush with melted margarine.

**I also make this in the bread machine on the dough cycle if I need to be doing other things.

2 months flew by

2009-11-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, yet again I have waited far too long to write a blog. It has been months between posts, and I’ve had many “friendly” reminders from several of you…

Highlights of the past 2 months: Oktoberfest celebrated with the Huber’s and their friends; a QUICK trip to Seattle to attend the wedding of my cousin Patrick to his beautiful bride, Abbe; Taste of Autumn (wine tasting event out in the boonies—beautiful art strewn on the Kansas prairie, with tasting stations of appetizers paired with wines—always a good time with the friends I go with!); two, yes TWO, trips to see the musical WICKED while it was in Wichita; a garage sale at my house; as well as a wonderful overnight visit from my dear sister, brother-in-law, and nephew.

There has been much more squeezed into days in between, but it consists of the activities that most would consider mundane.

My last weeks at school have been very eventful. I’ve had a new student that came, and then left within a week. He has found a new school home, one that is much better suited to his needs. I can’t really tell much information about this situation, and certainly not on this blog, but I should say that his needs consumed all of every single day of last week. There are times that people ask why I chose the profession I did, and then further question me as to why I stay. Last week was one of the times that I questioned myself about that. The answers I keep coming back to are that these students need me, that I make a difference in their lives, and that not many others will spend that time with them and believe in them. I AM needed, even if I feel unappreciated.

To top off my excellent week at school, I also made a large purchase. My car has slowly become less reliable (it’s served me so well!), and last week reached a point where a large sum of money would have to be paid to repair it. After many conversations with my father and others, I decided that I should probably start looking for a new car. On Saturday, Dad and I went to Wichita with the intentions of purchasing a new Suzuki. Our plans changed, and I ended up buying a used 09 Mitsubishi Galant. I was sad to say goodbye to my little Malibu (especially the sunroof!), but I have to admit I’m enjoying my new car.

I’ve been spending much of my time lately in the kitchen. Last night I started a batch of Gluten Free Buller peppernuts. The first batch tasted awful and went in the trash. The second batch is now in the fridge waiting to be rolled out and baked tonight. I’m hopeful that they will end up close to what I remember. I also baked a loaf of Gluten Free cinnamon raisin bread last night, which made the house smell wonderful. Tonight will consist of baking 4 loaves of “regular” bread (2 white, and 2 with raisins/cinnamon), as well as starting soup preparations for the big shindig this weekend. I need to also start thinking about pies, and getting those prepared.

In this time of preparation for Thanksgiving, and the Christmas season as well, I should say that I have much to be thankful for. Just a few days ago, the 1 year mark of when I had my thyroid surgery passed. It's hard to believe that it has been 1 year. It's been a year of major adjustments for me, but there has always been good that came from the changes in my life. I have SO much to be thankful for!

Hoping to update soon with a new Gluten Free Peppernut recipe to share, as well as a few pictures.

Love to all of you!

PTL

2009-08-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

My sister makes fun of me for many things, but one of the things she has teased me about lately is my use of acronyms when chatting online with her. While my chatting and texting vocabulary is not as large as the average 8 year olds, it IS much larger than hers since she's been out of the country for 3 years now.. One of the latest I've learned is PTL, which a friend used on her facebook update. I had to ask to find out what she was actually saying, and since then I've seen it several more times, and the messages make so much more sense now! :)

PTL: The first week of school has passed. There were several bumps and bruises along the way, but I'm sure things will get ironed out in the next few weeks. This first week has left me very tired, and ready to go to bed at 4:00 when my day at school ends. I've also been doing several massages each Tues. and Thurs. evening, and on Saturdays. The juggling of the two jobs and my normal things around the house (mowing, laundry, dishes, etc...) have made me so tired that I haven't even attempted going to the pool. I'm still hopeful that I will be able to add that back in soon....

PTL: My Dell computer arrived and several days ahead of schedule. I'm slowly loading the programs I use onto it, and spending some time playing and discovering what all I've got.

PTL: Heidi and Tim have found a house, and will be moving their things in starting Thursday. This means the state wide storage rooms will be emptied, and all items will be happily joined together in Newton, not far from Shalom. I'm sure that much excitment and jubilation will be felt as Heidi and Tim unpack boxess and rediscover their long-lost belongings.

PTL: Sunday's special music at church turned out much better than the fiasco it could have been. I'm so thankful that most in the congregation have/had no idea what all transpired.

PTL: I've been blessed by my family who love and support me, who care about me, care for me when I need them, and laugh with me. I can't imagine a better family to be a part of.

PTL: Good friendships make my life so much better. I was able to share dinner with several friends last night at my home, and our laughter until 10:30 last night has caried me through the day today. I've been graced with more friends than I can count, I have many more than "my fair share".

Hopefully you've figured out what PTL stands for (or maybe you already knew!)...if not, try to use your context clues! :) I would love to hear what others come up with!

The last few days

2009-08-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

The new school year has begun. So far I've had 3 days of inservice, next Monday will be a work day, and then the children start rushing through the doors on Tuesday. In the space of a week's time, my caseload has grown by 3 students, which is good and bad. With those students come some new personalities, and much more juggling of schedules, whether my own or planning my paraprofessional's. My classroom still looks pretty messy, but I'm hoping that everything will be in place by Monday at 4:00 when I send my paras home.

We've also really begun to feel the economic stress of this year within our county and district. Budgets have been slashed, or are non-existent...we're all being lectured on money saving strategies and conserving resources...and we've been told to buckle down and prepare for the worst. Jobs (for this year at least) are protected...but we've been told to be thankful that we still have them. While things are bad for the special education cooperative that I work for, they are much worse in the district, and more specifically, for the regular education teacher. One of the smartest decisions I ever made was getting my special education degree. I am protected from so many things because of my SPED degree. I have no worries about ever losing my job, which is quite a relief! I also am assured of a quick hire if/when I go looking for a different job. The entire situation really hit home today when I was told by my principal that a para that we had already "hired" had really not been hired because they had decided not to fill the position. While I haven't talked to the director about this situation, I'm fairly certain that there simply is not enough money to hire to replace the para position. This is especially difficult, not only because of the loss of an additional set of hands and presence in the classroom, but because I consider the person that was "hired" to be a personal friend. This person had already gone to 2 days of inservice, and the principal then had to break the news that he really didn't have a job.

Another frustration this week was the death of my laptop. While it was 6 years old, and basically obsolete I was hoping that I could eke out a few more months of service. Thankfully I took some time back in May to clean it off, and so I only lost a few conversations and documents. It could have been so much worse! I was so thankful that cousin Patrick was available to talk to me, and counsel me on whether I should try to repair it or trash it and buy a new one. After determining it was most likely the hard-drive, I quickly came to the conclusion (and Patrick agreed!) that a new computer was in my future. I would have liked to wait until October when there will be a new operating system available, but...I do use my computer all the time at home for working from home for SPED and massage and communication with family, friends and school matters... I'm anxiously awaiting the delivery of my new Dell... I think I got a fairly good computer for not too much money--and I REALLY appreciate the Dell Educator Discount. Every little bit helps!

This past week I've been spending much of my time gathering vegetables from friends and their gardens. I've canned green beans, several batches of salsa, homemade italian sauce, and cantaloupe. Yes! I said I canned cantaloupe! :) It is amazing! Maybe if you're lucky you'll get some for Christmas! Tonight I've started some dough for Whole Wheat Pizza mini crusts that will be finished off tomorrow, and I've baked a cherry coffee cake.

Tomorrow brings two massages at the clinic, house cleaning, and the arrival of my Aunt Terri. Terri will be staying overnight with me, and then heading back to Nebraska after picking up a kitten for a friend. Mom, Dad, Heidi, Tim and Gustav will be joining Terri and me for supper tomorrow night, and I'm eager to spend time with all of them. My house desperately needs to be cleaned, and I'm hoping that it all gets done before Terri arrives!

I believe the last time I wrote I mentioned that I would be getting an MRI to see whether there was a tumor on my pituitary gland. I went back to the doctor this week, and was happy to hear that there is no tumor! :) While I still don't have as much energy as I would like, I'm coming to the realization that this may just be something I have to live with. I am happy that most of my other side effects have been clearing up with the help of the medications that she has prescribed. I am hopeful that that continues. The real test will be next week when I head back to the pool in the mornings (or at least that is my intention!). I may have to ease into it. I know that I'll want to (and expect myself!) to be able to swim several miles at one time, and then head to school like I was doing last year, plus go back in the evenings and swim some more. I'll have to sit down and try to figure out a schedule of when I go, allowing for rest time, and easing into the longer amounts of swimming. I guess I'd rather do that than crash and burn...although I think I'll end up being very frustrated with myself.

Love to all of you!

Europe Pictures--in random order, sorry!

2009-07-30T06:33:00.001-07:00

Gustav enjoys nutella and peanut butter sandwiches on picnics. I think he really just enjoys licking the filling out. But then again, who wouldn't? :)

Gustav loved splashing in the cool, clean lake!

Heidi, Tim and Gustav

Sister time.

Beautiful!

Evening at the lake our greatgreat grandfather fished in.

Kerstin, Gulvi and Willi

Tim and Gustav relaxing in the shade--Sweden was very warm while we were there!

Cousin Gulvi

The cottage--it has no running water, so Willi and Gulvi have to lug it with them all the time.

Willi got a workout pulling Gustav all over. They were very good friends!

Exploring the property.

Cousins Gulvi and Willi's land and cottage.

Oversized and undersized--we had lots of fun climbing on these at Astrid Lindgren World.

Gustav's throne.

Playing in the rock fountains.

It took Gustav awhile to figure out what was happening, but once he did, he didn't want to leave.

Heidi and Tim discussing the very "American" never ending drinks with your meals at Astrid Lindgren World--this included lingonberry juice and BEER! What a great place!

Drinking Lingonberry juice with dinner. Yum! :)

Our Swedish family at the cottage.

Gustav rearranging the furniture at the little houses at Astrid Lindgren World--he loved to move the tables and chairs around.

Playing at Astrid Lindgren World--the houses were more Gustav sized than Erica sized.

Exploring the area around the fish smoker.

Sampling the finished product--Gustav was a big fan.

Finished product--salmon, eel and trout.

Talking about spices used to flavor the fish and how to package it.

Fish smoker describing the history of the place and the smoking process.

Raw fish getting ready for the smoker.

Cousin Anders, our tour leader.

On the sea at the fish smoker. Cousin Kerstin, Heidi and Gustav.

Partially packed vehicle--no where near done, and so much more to find places for.

Gustav and Heidi relaxing.

My baby "sister" Eliane.

Goodbye gifts from the Hausgemeinshaft.

Fun in the kitchen while cleaning up the party.

Kristin and Eliane--so glad I got to see both of them, and I really wish they lived closer to us!

Laughing at some story Heidi and Kristin were telling.

The church sending and farewell service for Heidi, Tim and Gustav.

Gustav loves taco salad, enough so that he grabbed a chair and hoisted himself up to the table to eat out of the bowl at the farewell party. Either that, or we weren't feeding him enough.

Kristin and Heidi making caramel corn. Very sticky, and much discussion over which is the best way to eat caramel corn--crunchy bits or sticky balls? We all have our favorites! :)

Tim was in charge of beverages for the party, and this is only a portion of what was purchased. I think he did an excellent job of calculating how much to buy. I would have loved to try the beers he bought, they certainly looked and smelled good!

Gustav loves to observe from his window and watch the people who reside in the Hausgemeinshaft. And, of course, everything is much better if you're doing it naked, right?!? :)

Gustav "helping" Kristin roll out cinnamon roll dough. I'm not sure who ate more dough...Kristin or Gustav. :)

Eating the dough...not sure she did this before meeting Heidi and picking up a "bad" habit.

Bedtime stories for Gustav and Kristin.

Cooking with Gustav, he's always very eager to help and sample.

Gustav's bathtime. He loves playing in the water, and has changed quite a bit from that first bath I witnessed so long ago. No more screaming! :)

Kristin and I relaxing in the shade, enjoying fresh strawberries and currants while watching Gustav run naked in the sun!

Gustav waving "Tschuss" before heading to bed.

Setting up the grill for the big farewell party.

Eliane at the farewell party.

Heidi "sleeping" in Gustav's bed...I think this was an attempt to quiet a tantrum. :)

Everything...

2009-07-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

So it’s been several weeks, err…maybe even months…, since my last post. During that time I’ve crammed as much in as possible, and it feels like I need to stop to catch my breath and recover before I head back to school.

My last post talked about how I was leaving the country to spend some time with Heidi, Tim and Gustav. I had a wonderful trip, and loved the time we spent together. I started the trip by travelling to Frankfurt, Germany and staying with them while they finished up the last week of work. Gustav and I had some good one-on-one bonding time while Tim and Heidi put in their last hours at their respective jobs. One of my favorite times of the entire trip was the Farewell Party that Heidi and Tim threw for themselves (odd custom, if you ask me…). It was a wonderful time of fellowship with good friends—sad goodbyes and happy stories were shared. A highlight for me was seeing our former exchange student, Eliane, and spending time with her and another friend in the kitchen. One of our good friends, Kristin, flew in from the Canary Islands to surprise them. While it provided some additional stress for Heidi beforehand (she knew there would be a visitor, but didn’t know WHO), once she saw Kristin, I think all that stress evaporated and she had a great time enjoying the time we could spend together. Heidi, Gustav, Kristin and I all spent time baking “American” treats like cinnamon rolls, and caramel popcorn, and there was plenty of time spent gabbing and telling stories. We spent the last day packing up their belongings and figuring out how they would fit in the vehicle we had rented. We then headed to Hamburg and an overnight visit with our dear friends Reinhold and Gertraud Mesterharm. It had been several years since I had seen them, and it was good to spend a supper catching up with them. Hopefully I will be able to see them again, and much sooner than the many years that have passed between my visits. After Hamburg we headed through Denmark with Sweden as our destination. We had a wonderful drive—rainy until we hit the border of Denmark and Germany and then the sun broke through. It was a beautiful drive, and plenty of country that I had never seen before. We were eager to arrive at our cousin’s house in Vimmerby, Sweden. We had a wonderful visit with Lund’s, spending time at their home relaxing, visiting Pippi Longstocking World, area shops, a fish smoker along the coast,a day spent at a family cottage eating, laughing and playing and wading in a beautiful lake in the evening. Our time in Vimmerby passed much too quickly, and I’m looking forward to a time I can go back again. We left Vimmerby and headed to Stockholm for several days sightseeing there before returning home to Kansas. Favorite spot in Stockholm has to be the Vasa museum, and it was nice to be able to go back and visit again when I’m a bit older and maybe more attentive?  I also enjoyed visiting the marketplace and just soaking up the culture and people.

We returned the rental car (and had to deal with 2 parking tickets we had received along the way), and then started the battle with plane tickets and luggage. I’m glad we got their early and were at the beginning of the line. Many plane rides later, we finally arrived in Wichita and retrieved our luggage. The only thing that was missing was the stroller, and Tim made arrangements so that would be delivered the next day. We headed back to Hesston and much needed rest. The next day we spent relaxing and hosting a Welcome Back/4th of July party for the Buller and Huber relatives. I loved exposing Gustav to the fireworks—he had no fear and was very good at “helping” me. He especially loved throwing the little snappers and then stepping on them to make them pop. He still is trying to stamp things out when we play together…

Since getting back from my travels, I’ve been working at the massage clinic and spending lots of time with friends. I’ve been teaching summer school in the mornings (last week, this week, and next week) and then working in the afternoons at the clinic. Yesterday my cousin Carmen hosted a spa party, so I packed up my table and headed to Wichita. After teaching summer school in the morning, and then doing 6 massages in the afternoon, I was pooped by the time I got home. It was a good time, and I enjoyed catching up with people I hadn’t seen in awhile.

Last Friday, after I got done with summer school, I drove to Hesston and Mom, Dad and I piled into the car and headed to Denver. We stayed with Buller cousin Anthony and his wife Farrell, and attended Johnson cousin Eric and Anna’s wedding in Aurora. It was nice to see both sides of my family—and most importantly, family members I don’t normally see. Anthony and Farrell were wonderful hosts, and made us feel very welcome. On Sat. morning before the wedding, we headed to Boulder and some special shopping for me. We hit Whole Foods, and I found several new and exciting Gluten Free goodies. My biggest excitement is the GF bread by Udi’s. It toasts and holds together like real bread! The texture AND taste are great! We also went to a farmer’s market, and I bought several loaves of Aunt Kay’s breads—she makes wonderful breakfast breads like lemon poppyseed, chocolate zucchini, and cinnamon struesel coffee cake. Pricy, but worth every penny! Even my dad liked it, which means it really had to be good! We spent some time at a local lake, and then headed home to get ready for the wedding. In the evening we were hosted for a picnic like supper, and it was good to get to know Anna’s family, and interact with my own family members.

In other news, I went back to the doctor on Monday. She had ordered some more lab work, and so we talked about that. My thyroid level is being over-replaced, so we are going to alternated 2 different levels of the medication to see whether that makes it better. My prolactin level is also fluctuating, and the labwork wasn’t clear as to what that means. While some fluctuation of prolactin is normal, it depends on the day and activities, the fact that it is not within the normal limit on either of my last 2 labs means that something else could be going on. She has ordered an MRI of my pituitary gland, because there is a possibility that I have a tumor that is making the levels fluctuate. I’ll have that done next Tuesday, and then I’ll go back for another followup appointment on the 11th. If the tumor is what is going on, that could also explain the elevated DHEA levels, which means I may not have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome…. Who knows at this point what is going on. I am happy to know that I am finally in good hands and with someone who will help me get to the bottom of it.

After next week, I have about 2 “free” days (which are already filling up with appointments, and things “to-do”) before I start back to school and full-time responsibilities there. My summer has flown by…

I’ve been meaning to post pictures from the trip, but I think that will have to be a post unto itself.

I'm leaving...on a jet plane...don't know when I'll be back again...

2009-06-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning, at 10:15 a.m., I'll be leaving to go and visit Heidi, Tim and Gustav. My bags are packed (at least for the most part, there are a few items still getting done in the laundry)...and I'm eager to spend some time with my loved ones.

I'm looking forward to the time we'll spend together. It will be a time for Heidi and Tim to say goodbye to their friends and coworkers, and so I anticipate some sadness. It has been 3 years, and they have made many close friendships. It will also be a time of great happiness (at least I hope!) as I know there are a few surprises planned. As much as Heidi loves to plan surprises, she isn't the best recipient of them... :) How I'm enjoying being on the other end of the surprise and watching her squirm!

I'll be spending some quality time with Gustav while Heidi and Tim finish up their jobs these coming weeks. I'm eager to get to know Gustav again, and spend some good time bonding with him. I haven't seen him since they were visiting at Spring Break time, over a year ago now. I'm hoping the weather cooperates, and we'll be able to do some time playing outdoors, and exploring Bammental together. I'm sure I'll be feeling as though I'm back in Munich and my nanny days...although I'll be a kid short now and won't have to do quite as much grocery shopping probably!

We're renting a car, and driving from Bammental to Hamburg, spending an evening with our dear friends, the Mesterharms, and then heading for Sweden. At this point, we're still uncertain as to what our route will be (and I'm getting a bit anxious about this, since I'm the primary driver) but I'm sure that between the 3 of us and the GPS we'll get there. The uncertainty lies in which ferries/bridges we'll be taking, and how long the trip will actually be. We'll be staying with relatives in Sweden for a few days, and then heading to Stockholm and a youth hostel for the final days before returning to the States on July 3rd. I'm looking forward to visiting the Vasa museum again, and looking for some more crystal to add to my collection.

For some of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you will remember that I invited all of you to my little house in Marion to celebrate "The Dirty 3rd in the Dirty South"--a celebration started many years ago by a group of bachelors that lived down the street that has since grown to gigantic proportions even though the bachelors have moved on--much partying and a fantastic fireworks show. Since I will be traveling home to the US on the 3rd, I will have to rescind my invitation for this year, although I'd be happy to have all of you next year on the 3rd of July at my house. I suppose you can still show up and use my driveway (as I'm sure plenty of other people will be, although please pick up your beer cans after yourself! ;) ) I just won't be able to be there to host and enjoy your company.

Results

2009-06-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

After several hours working for my parents today (I stained trim and closet doors, as well as did some painting in their guest room in preparation for putting wallpaper up in a few days) I went to a follow-up appointment with Dr. Herbel this afternoon.

Since the last time I wrote about all of this, I have tried to focus on the many other parts that my life consists of, in an attempt not to get as upset about it all. As today got closer and closer, it was harder for me not to think about it and let the worry creep in.

My doctor appointment today brought a few more answers, but also a new round of questions. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome still seems to be where we're heading for a diagnosis, but since it is a syndrome, instead of a disease, there is no test that says "yes, you have it" or "no, you don't". I have many of the symptoms, and the diagnosis "fits".

After the last visit, Dr. Herbel ordered another round of tests, plus a sonogram. The sonogram shows that I have cysts on both of my ovaries. And one of the lab tests shows that I have elevated prolactin levels. Elevated prolactin could indicate that my thyroid level is still not regulated as well as it should be (although, it is testing in the "normal" range right now), or it could mean that I have a tumor on my pituitary gland.

Dr. Herbel has adjusted my thyroid medication again, as well as prescribed two more medications to take. I'll be starting Metformin and Spironolactone in the coming days, and I'm hoping that these will help alleviate some of nasty symptoms I'm suffering from. I'll have more blood work in 7 weeks, and then go back for another appointment in 8 weeks.

I leave on the 15th to go to Germany to visit Heidi, Tim and Gustav. We'll be packing up their belongings, saying goodbyes, and then doing some traveling in Sweden. Some of these drugs have some side effects, and so I'm a little worried about it all. I'm sure that it will all end up being ok, and that I'm worrying for nothing... What I'm actually most worried about is being able to eat gluten free as much as possible while traveling. I've decided that all I can do is avoid what I can, and there may be times that it is unavoidable and I will eat gluten because there are no other options. I've also decided that there are a few things that I WILL eat while I'm there--like REAL pizza, wiener schnitzel, etc... I'll have to pack some extra migraine drugs...

Zwiebach

2009-05-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

While surfing the net last night I stumbled across a new blog (Mennonite Girls Can Cook). I've got several blogs that I check consistently, and this will be added to the list. This blog is a group of several women who all contribute recipes and stories, and many of them keep of blogs of their own. What brought me to the site was a reference on another blog to a Verenika recipe that was posted. One of the contributors also has Celiac...and I'm eager to try her variations of traditional Mennonite recipes. When is the next time the Buller's are getting together for Verenika?!? I'm prepared now! :) Thanks Julie!

One of the things I've missed the most is eating bread at family gatherings. Grandma Buller was known far and wide for her baking (being a cook at the school helped with this, I'm sure!), and her speciality was zwiebach. We were always eager to fill up on her zwiebach whenever we gathered as a family. In the past years she hasn't been able to bake, and so I tried to fill her role... Because of my love of baking, at each family dinner I volunteer to bring the bread as my contribution. Even with my celiac diagnosis, I enjoy baking bread, and I continue to bring it whenever we get together.

Last night, after finding the new website, I eagerly shot off an email to Julie, the contributor that also has celiac. I hoped that she had tried to make zwiebach, and if so that she would be willing to share her recipe. This morning I awoke to her reply. She hasn't made zwiebach, but will soon post a recipe for rollkuchen.

As I had the day off today to celebrate Memorial Day, and since I had zwiebach on the brain, I decided to try my hand at making them gluten free. I used Grandma Buller's recipe, only cutting it in 1/2 and substituting Pamela's Products Bread Mix. While the texture isn't quite the same (not as light and fluffy as white bread flour would make them), they do taste good, especially with the homemade rhubarb jam I had in the pantry.

Gluten Free Zwiebach
1 1/4 cup milk, scalded
3 TB sugar
1 TB yeast (I just used the yeast packet in the bread mix)
6 T. melted shortening
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
4 cups Pamela's Bread Mix (one bag)

**Next time I will add some xantham gum to the mix to see if that helps with the elasticity.

Black and White

2009-05-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

or a whole 'lotta gray...

It's been a month since I last wrote... There are the normal excuses of work and responsibilities, and the fact that my life just isn't all that interesting...but the truth would be that it is mostly because I've been unsure of what to write.

This past year has been full of drama, or at least it has felt like that to me. The culmination of which was my surgery in November. I thought that with the removal of the mass that had grown intertwined with my vocal chords and with the news that the growth was non-cancerous; my life would get back to normal. Then came the news that some, if not all, of my health problems of the past years could be tied to that evil thing—gluten. It was with relief and a good amount of happiness (at least on most days) that I traded the gluten for being migraine free. I thought that with time and the proper amounts of medication my thyroid hormones would become more normal, and I would start to feel better.

Time has certainly passed, and with it my patience and understanding with the medical profession. I was still having nagging symptoms, things that “should” have been cleared up with my surgery and with the correct amounts of thyroid medication. Since I was getting no where and just getting more and more frustrated, I took it upon myself to seek a second opinion. I was finally able to get in to see the Endocrinologist 3 weeks ago.

With all the doctors I went to through the years for my migraines, I’ve become disillusioned with the medical profession. I know there are many doctors out there who care about their patients, and truly listen. I do know that because of insurance companies and legal requirements, many doctors are frustrated with their own profession and feel that their hands are tied and that they are unable to provide the care that their patients need. With all that being said, I’m afraid that I haven’t had the chance to meet many of those doctors, the ones that actually care about their patients. Instead my experiences have been more likely to include a few minutes of face time with a physician who doesn’t make eye contact, and a quickly written new prescription to try that will have horrible side effects. No attempt at listening or discovering what the root problem might be. One more patient in and out of the office… And I end up feeling like a lab rat, as my body struggles to adjust to everything I’m being asked to put into it.

It was with hope and more than a little fear that I made that appointment. To start the process over with a new doctor, reviewing my entire medical history and current complaints… How would the appointment go? Would I be brushed off…sent home with yet another prescription…or worse yet told that I was exaggerating my symptoms and that I should just learn to live with how I’m feeling…

I am so thankful to say that I’ve found one of those doctors that I’ve always known is out there, but have not had the opportunity to work with on many occasions. Dr. Herbel took the time to LISTEN to me… She took copious notes… She asked good questions, and asked me to describe what was actually happening and how I FELT… She cried when I cried… She EXPLAINED and answered all of my questions… She was not intimidated by the fact that I read about and try to understand what is happening in my body… She is AMAZING. At the end of it, the only things she had done was change me to Synthroid instead of generic (and she took the time to explain why no one should take generic thyroid medications), and ordered a full round of lab tests.

6 vials of blood and 3 weeks later, I’ve had my second appointment with her. Being the person I am, I took the time to read about the tests she ordered, and what the lab work could indicate. Sometimes it is better to be oblivious, and this may have been the case with this as well. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks thinking about the things I’ve read, and what might be happening in my body. Some of the things, frankly, have scared me. But I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t worry until I’ve talked with Dr. Herbel about it all and found out what the tests actually say.

I’m still operating in the gray area. I have to say that I am happy that I had read about the tests, as uneasy as it made me in the last weeks. If I hadn’t learned about them, I wouldn’t have been prepared with questions, and I think I would have been more upset with the news today. From what my lab work says (elevated DHEA-Sulfate level) Dr. Herbel thinks that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. She has ordered another round of lab work (I’ll do that tomorrow), as well as a sonogram (which will be Monday). With the symptoms I’ve got though, it is a good chance that this is my answer.

All of those thoughts that caused worry these past weeks have been going through my mind again as I drove home from Newton, and now as I sit and type. There are many things that I hope and dream for my future, and other things that I’ve put on hold until it is the right time in my life. With this diagnosis comes the reality that those things may not happen for me. Again, I was thankful that I had read about all this, and had come prepared with possible questions. Dr. Herbel calmly answered my queries, and I left with optimism that there is possible treatment to help with the symptoms, as well as hope for those dreams I’ve got.

It is another 3 weeks until I can go back to Dr. Herbel, and I’m anticipating that my gray space will become more black and white at that time. Until then, it will be a mad-dash to the end of school year. My life will be busy, and I’ll go about it as I usually do—trying to cram as much in as possible.

Much love to all of you!
Erica

Recipes

2009-04-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

As time goes by, I'm gradually changing my favorite recipes to accommodate my new diet. The truth is, as a single person, I don't have many occasions to cook and create my favorite meals, so this is taking longer than I would have thought. I'm including a couple of the recipes I've recently revamped so that when I go visit friends and family they'll have something to work with!

Swedish Pancakes (probably my number 1 comfort food!)
3/4 cup Featherlight mix
1 cup milk
3 eggs
melted butter
sugar
pinch salt

I like mine with more butter and powdered sugar sprinkled on top, or with berry syrup. Other family members prefer pancake syrup.

Cream of Chicken Soup Mix (one of the things I quickly discovered is that almost ALL canned soups have flour in them!)
2 cups dry milk
3/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup chicken bouillon (make sure this is Gluten Free--I use Herbox brand)
2 T. onion flakes
1 tsp. basil
1 tsp. thyme
1/2 tsp. pepper

Mix 1/3 cup mix to 1 cup water. If you want more pronounced chicken flavor, use chicken broth in place of the water. 1/3 cup mix is equal to one can of cream of chicken soup. Add chopped mushrooms to make cream of mushroom soup. **This is much cheaper and lower in fat than the actual canned soup!
______________________________________________________
In other news, I'm still having trouble regulating my thyroid medication. I've become very frustrated with how my appointments have gone with Dr. Cranston, and the general lack of attention I'm getting while I'm feeling so crummy. The awful side effects continue, and I feel like I'm not getting any real attention or help with trying to figure out what to do. I've made an appointment with an Endocrinologist for April 15 (that is the soonest I can get in, and I made the appointment almost 2 weeks ago now!). I'm hopeful that she'll listen and help me find a good balance. I'm feeling worse now than I did before the surgery, if that tells you anything, and it's very frustrating feeling as though I have to fight the medical community in order to be heard and taken seriously.

This week my 4th graders are completing the reading and math state tests. It will be a full week, and we're all eager for Easter break. My body is getting very run down between working at the school, and at the massage clinic, as well as the other activities I'm responsible for and I definitely need some down time to recuperate. I'm looking forward to spending some time at my little home, but also seeing friends and family and celebrating Christ's resurrection.

Drip, drop, drip, drop

2009-03-28T15:06:00.000-07:00

The sun has come out, and is beginning to melt some of the snow that has accumulated since yesterday afternoon. The icicles on the sides of the house are releasing, and plummeting to the ground. The weather lately has been crazy--shorts and sandals weather earlier in the week, and turning to blizzard yesterday. We started with rain, and dropping temperatures, which turned to ice pellets yesterday afternoon, then ice pellets and snow, and then snow in the evening, throughout the night and into this morning. We did get dismissed from school at 1:15, so it has been nice to have a bit of extra time at home.

I was supposed to have 2 massage appointments this morning, but both were cancelled (of course only AFTER I had woken up early and gotten ready!). Instead, I've spent the day in my house, bumming around. I did go outside long enough to shovel the driveway (it felt like we had 12 feet of snow, but I'm pretty sure it may only be about 6-8 inches). The only part that isn't cleared now is the very end--and I'm just going to say 'no' to that...the wonderful city guys have created a mountain at the edge of my drive from clearing streets--I'm hopeful that it will melt soon. I also had to make a path to the rabbits this morning, as the back door was frozen shut from the rain, and drifted snow.

I've got a pile of laundry that needs to be folded, but instead I'm planning on sitting on the couch for awhile, posting this blog, and possibly starting a Netflix movie. There is always tomorrow (church has been cancelled), so the laundry can wait until then. Right now I've got a batch of meatballs baking in the oven, so the house is starting to smell really good. I'll include the recipe (maybe Heidi and Tim can make these for the hausgemeinschaft? It makes a BIG recipe!). This is adapted from a friend's recipe...I think I'll throw a potato in the oven too and have that too.

BBQ Meatballs
3 1/2 lbs hamburger
1 (13 oz) can Carnation milk
2 cups oats (Gluten free, please!!! Bob's Red Mill is the brand I used)
2 eggs
2 t. salt
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. pepper
2 chopped onions
2 T. chili powder
Mix the above ingredients and shape into meatball shape (you could also bake as a meatloaf, or individual meat loaves in muffin tins) and put into a 9x13 pan. Bake in 350 degree oven for one hour. While they are baking, make the BBQ sauce. After 20-30 minutes pour off some of the grease in the pan, and then pour the BBQ sauce over. Try to bake them at least 30 minutes with the BBQ sauce on them so that they have good flavor. **These can be made ahead and frozen without the BBQ sauce. Then you'll need to bake them about 1 1/2 hours.

BBQ Sauce
2 cups catsup
1 t. garlic salt
1 onion, chopped
2 TBSP liquid smoke
2 cups brown sugar

Mix the sauce ingredients and bring to a boil. Pour over the meatballs after getting rid of some of the grease.

...poisoning yourself, and hoping that your enemy will die...

2009-03-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

While driving to Omaha last Friday for my cousin Craig’s wedding, I had the chance to dig out some of my CDs that I haven’t listened to lately. It isn’t often that I’m in one place long enough to truly listen to the words of songs, and think about how they relate to my own life. If you’ve read some of my earlier postings, I’m sure that you realize that I love music. The truth is that while it is a large part of my life, it is sometimes relegated to the background. While I need to have the constant music going, I really enjoy the times that I can sit down and LISTEN.

One of the CDs that I brought with me for the car ride was a CD that Jon, my brother-in-law’s brother, made for me. He ran the sound for the John McCutcheon concert at Mem Hall last year, and was kind enough to burn me a copy of the entire concert. John McCutcheon is one of my favorite folk artists—his songs and stories ring true for me. There were some very special moments in the concert, lots of good stories, and a large group of Mennonites singing 606. It was amazing!

One of the stories that he related that night was about his father-in-law and the wonderful relationship they have. Amid stories about all the good things his father-in-law had brought with him when he emigrated from Cuba, McCutcheon told this story.

“…Carlos is one of the wisest men I know, and the best story teller I’ve ever heard. And no matter what you come to him with, he always has some entertaining and often illuminating story to illustrate what he thinks. A few years back I came to him and told him that I’d had a falling out with an old and dear friend, and the parting was so acrimonious I was convinced we would never reconcile...”

In the conversation Carlos says “Hatred is a terrible thing…it is like poisoning yourself, and hoping that your enemy will die. But I understand the struggle that goes on between good and evil, and love and hatred in a man. All my life it is as though I’ve had two wolves inside of me and each of them are fighting for dominance of my spirit. One of the wolves is good, and lives in harmony with all around it…never takes offense when none is intended, and only fights when it is the last possible alternative and even then only in the proper way. Ah, but the other wolf is so consumed with his own anger and hatred that he will fight with anyone, over anything at anytime. And all my life it is as though these two have been warring within me.”

McCutcheon asks, “Carlito, which one wins?”

“Ah…the one I feed…”

At the time of the concert this song and story struck me, and going back this weekend and listening to it brought several incidences to the forefront of my mind. I’ve been struggling to come up with something to write about here (to my sister’s severe protestations!) and tonight as I thought about some things happening at work, the story and song came back to me.

There are times that I become very frustrated with individuals that I work with. Recently there has been one person who repeatedly presents me with times of frustration. This has been going on all year, and affects not only myself, but an entire team. While I’m frustrated with the situation, there is another individual that has been affected even more than me. This person is a good friend of mine, and as I’ve watched the entire thing play out, I have seen her struggle with how to handle the situation. Yesterday, she reached a breaking point, and it was hard for me to watch. She was frustrated, and in her frustration she spent a good amount of time venting. While I understand that this is what she needed (and honestly it is sometimes what I myself need!), I also reached a point where I realized that sitting around the table and hashing it all out was only making us more upset. At some point, the disgruntled comments have to turn into a plan. I am a fixer at heart, and I can’t stand seeing someone so upset about what is going on.

I spent a lot of time yesterday and today thinking and praying about how I might go about fixing the problem. The situation with our team is beyond repair, I feel. We will be able to make it through the rest of the school year (just barely), but a new plan must be made for next year. My question to myself then was what I should do…and the only thing that came to mind was talking to the director about the issue. I struggle with this because it feels like I’m jumping the chain of command and turning into a tattler. We have tried to mediate within the group, and the truth is that the situation has only gotten worse and tenser. Today I spent much of my “free” time gathering my thoughts, and deciding how to phrase things. I’ve written a letter to the director, and tried to be as fair as possible about the whole thing—attempting to present facts, and not just my opinions about what has gone on. I was tempted to send it this afternoon, but I realized that I needed to spend some more time in prayer. My prayer tonight is that when I send the email tomorrow with this letter, that I will be feeding the correct wolf. I am uncomfortable with discord, and in constant pursuit of creating peace for myself and those around me. I worry that this letter will create discomfort for us as individuals, and as a team; but as a friend reminded me tonight, peacemaking includes dialogue and a resolution to the situation. The only way that will happen is if we open the lines of communication, and involve someone other than ourselves in the situation.

Self Examination

2009-02-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, and they all drank from it. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” Mark 14:22-24

I’ve been processing this since yesterday, and wondering what I would end up writing. First, I should say that I knew that I would face challenges as I accepted this new way of eating. Some challenges are easily met and life goes on, while others nag at me and wait for alternatives. Yesterday’s church service provided me with a challenge that has been gnawing at me ever since, and I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.

Yesterday was the first church service of the month, and we celebrated communion together. Or rather, I celebrated parts of communion. Because of the gluten in the bread I had to pass the loaf along. While I know in my heart that God understood my reasons, it nearly brought me to tears having to do it.

Having grown up in the Mennonite church, and being baptized as a young adult, I did not participate in communion all of my life. In addition to that, Whitestone (depending on which pastors we had) did not celebrate communion very often. I remember celebrating it maybe once or twice per year. The act of communion grew to be very special to me, and holds much significance. While baptism only happens once in a lifetime, communion is meant to be observed many times throughout the life of a Christian.

My father and I have had conversations in the past about churches that take communion weekly, and how the celebration that is communion becomes common place to the congregation. While I can understand how that might happen, I often wished that Whitestone had had it more often. One of the things I love most about attending the Presbyterian Church in Marion is that they have communion at least once per month.

Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood; you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day." John 6:53-54

While I know that I am no less of a Christian because I’m unable to partake of the bread during communion, I do feel that I’m missing out on something. Communion is a time for us to be together as a community…congregation…body… Am I still a part of that group? Surely I am, but the feeling is still there gnawing at me. Observation of communion is about remembering Christ, his sacrifice for us, and self-examination. I’m still able to remember, to be thankful, but there is something about the physical elements that makes this more difficult to me. As a teacher, I’ve learned about how one must teach to a variety of learners, taking into consideration their specific learning styles. Perhaps the kinesthetic portion of communion is how I’m able to truly reflect, learn and change?

I’m unsure whether I have any more answers now, than when I began this post. I know that the process of writing down my feelings and thoughts is cathartic for me. It could be that I will learn to accept my partial participation in communion, or that this is something I will always struggle with. I do know that avoiding the church on days of communion is NOT the approach I should choose, but I have to admit that today that looks really tempting.

Sing a new song

2009-01-28T15:20:00.000-08:00

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. --Ephesians 5:19

Music is a large part of my life. Growing up in a musical family, I was exposed to many types of musical opportunities, and developed an appreciation for many musical genres. As I go about my day to day life, there is a constant stream of music on my mind, in my ears,and on my tongue.

The day may be gloomy, with dark clouds and sleet coming down. At times, depending on what else is going on in my life, my mood will match that. Even when I'm upset there is a song that will match my mood or feelings. Often, the music of my mood is what gets me out of the funk, and on to better things.

The children in my classroom have grown accustomed to me breaking out in song. They grin and giggle each time, and then turn back to their work. Sometimes if they know the song, they'll sing along with me. Even if they don't, they try to hum along. In their time with me they've been exposed to many more types of music than they would have otherwise, as well as the exposure to academics, of course. :)

When one sings, the whole body reverberates with the sound. Deeper breaths=more oxygen in your system=quite the calming effect. For me, it heals my body and lifts my spirits. When preparing for surgery, there were only 2 things I was really concerned about. One of them was what my voice would be like afterwards, and if it were gone, how I would deal with it. I deal with all the "stuff" of life through music, and how do you come to terms with things when your ways of processing are taken away from you? I will be forever thankful for the fact that I'm still able to sing.

All of that to really say this: Today was a tough day for me. There are things that I'm worried about with family members and today brought no answers, even though they were promised. To add to that, I had a student in class who had a difficult day. He's one of my behavior students, and while he's had a good year this year, today must have been a challenge for him. In reaction to it, flying pencils, chairs and books were made a part of my day today. Through it all I had a song going through my head. I've been listening to a lot of Carrie Newcomer lately. She has plenty of songs that reflect my moods and beliefs. One of her songs is called "Geodes" and speaks of how we sometimes overlook the truly wonderful things in life. The chorus of the song especially resonated with me today.

All these things that we call familiar,
Are just miracles clothed in the common place.
You’ll see it if you try in the next stranger's eyes,
God walks around in muddy boots,
Sometimes rags and that's the truth.
You can't always tell, but sometimes you just know.

The student today comes from an awful family life. He's clothed in castoffs from other foster children who've moved on, much too big and worn. His academic needs are enormous--not because he isn't a smart little boy, but because life circumstances have gotten in the way. While he's had quite the history of behavior problems in the past, this is really the first instance he has ever shown aggression with me. Today there was a substitute teacher in his regular education classroom, and any change for a student with behavior issues can cause problems. I'm unsure whether the chaos of the classroom was what caused the problem, or whether there was something deeper bothering him. In either case he doesn't have the skills to express what is truly at the root of the problem. Even while I was dodging items today, I knew that somewhere within is the child he's been all year long for me. Instead of anger at him, I felt an incredible sadness, and an anger that he's had to deal with so much in his short life. I was able to get him calmed down, and he was able to apologize to me before leaving my room this afternoon. I'm hopeful that he is able to find some peace and that we'll be back to our normal relationship tomorrow morning.

Pinning Ceremony

2009-01-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

This evening is my pinning ceremony, a celebration of all my hard work, and signifying an end to the classes I've been taking over the past 2 years.

The graduation ceremony starts at 6:30 at the Bowne Corby building (BCCC) and reception will follow. You are invited if you'd like to come!

So thankful

2009-01-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

I am so blessed to have the family I have.

Heading into Thanksgiving and the Christmas season this year, I was filled with uncertainty. With all the changes in my life recently, I knew that not being able to eat the foods of tradition would be hard for me. In my daily life sticking to the gluten free diet is relatively free from angst, but the holiday season is all about tradition. And most of our traditions center around FOOD!

Again, I must say how blessed I am. Both the Buller and Johnson sides of my family really made an effort to include me and my special diet in our holiday traditions. Whether it was making gravy from cornstarch; making sure the soups for our gathering were gluten free; baking Ostkaka with tapioca and rice flours; making amazing flour-less desserts for dinner or purchases of special rice pastas--everyone really made me feel included. My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have really thrown themselves into learning about this, and helping me stay safe. THANK YOU!

Even my grandmother revamped her cooking for me. I knew that going into this she would most likely be the one that would struggle with it the most. She's amazed me at how well she substituted and was willing to try different things. We even spent time baking caramel cinnamon rolls together one afternoon. While they weren't quite what she would normally produce, they were good (even she admitted that, and she's a tough critic!).

I'm including one of the desserts that we made during my time on the farm. Aunt Terri found it in one of her internet searches... These little cakes are scrumptious! We served them with Aunt Terri's homemade icecream (thanks to Mulberry the cow, too!).

Lavish Lava Cakes (originally from the Hagen Dazs website)
1 1/3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
5 T. butter
3 eggs, separated
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. finely ground espresso beans (I may have used a bit more! ;) )
t T. unsweetened cocoa powder

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Generously butter six 3/4 cup ramekins or custard cups (we used muffin tins).

In the microwave heat chocolate and butter on medium power for 1-2 minutes until butter is melted. Stir, reheating if necessary to melt chocolate; set aside. Stir egg yolks and 2 T. sugar into chocolate/butter mixture. Add espresso.

Place egg whites in a large mixing bowl; beat until foamy. Combine remaining 2 T sugar and cocoa powder, gradually beat into whites, until soft peaks fold over when beaters are lifted.

Stir 1/3 of the chocolate/butter mixture into the whites mixture. Gently fold in remaining chocolate mixture until completely combined. Divide evenly between cups. (Can cover at this point and refrigerate up to 24 hours before baking.)

Bake 10-12 minutes until puffy and cracks form on top. Edges should be firm and center moist between the cracks. (Bake 14-16 min. if refrigerated) Cool 3 minutes . Then either serve in ramekins or invert and serve on little plates with ice cream and dusting of cocoa powder.

No wonder!

2008-12-22T09:06:00.000-08:00

Dr. Cranston called me yesterday with test results from blood testing done last Tuesday. He had met me in the hallway after having my blood drawn, and had promised to call me yet that day with the results. Several days and phone calls to the office later, I still didn't have my results. When I called on Friday the office staff told me that he was coming in over the weekend, and that I should expect a phone call.

I had been feeling pretty crummy, still no where near the energy I would think that I would have, even after taking into consideration the fact that I just had surgery. I've been ready to go to bed at 4:00 each afternoon and stay in bed until the next morning's alarm. I realize that I just had surgery, but surely I should be able to stay up longer than 4:00 p.m.! And this is without adding in all my other responsibilities and loves. I haven't been exercising at all, and before surgery I was exercising before school and in the evening, as well as a full massage schedule. I knew that something wasn't right.

And Dr. Cranston's phone call confirmed that. A normal TSH range (thyroid test) is from 0.47 to 4.68. When my thyroid was tested a couple weeks after my surgery, it was at 0.52 which falls in the "normal" range, and Dr. Cranston was very happy with this number. Anything less than 0.47 would put me in the hyperthyroid range (more thyroid than I need), while anything above the 4.68 puts me in hypothyroid range (not enough thyroid). My test from Tuesday is reading at 5.12, which makes complete sense with how tired and worn out I am, as well as the hair that is in the tub after my baths, and my extremely dry skin.

Dr. Cranston is altering my medication level, and we'll retest in 6 weeks. I'm hopeful that sometime soon I'll start feeling like myself, and that things will be back to normal. I am thankful that Dr. Cranston took me seriously and agreed to retest my levels, and that we're going to work at finding an acceptable level for me.

These last 2 days before Christmas break promise to be busy busy. I'm fighting a cold, which adds to the fact that I have no energy. Pray that the next several days go quickly, and that Christmas vacation can be a time of rest for me!

Merry Christmas to all of you! Relax and REST over the holidays!

Baking up a Gluten Free Storm!

2008-12-17T16:58:00.000-08:00

Many heart felt birthday wishes being sent to my dear Gustav today. I'm sad that I'm not able to be there with him today, but I know that his mommy and daddy are doing a great job of celebrating with him. His loving mommy made him a rocket cake yesterday, and I hear it was a HUGE hit today at his birthday lunch with the Hausgemeinshaft! Happy Birthday! I can't wait until you are home in the states again!

Tonight was supposed to involve the landlord coming over to move out the electric stove from my kitchen (several burners don't work on it) and my parents helping me move in a gas range that I purchased at the school auction a couple of weekends ago.

When I called to remind the landlord of his plans for this evening, he told me I just needed to leave his stove outside his garage and then he would take care of it. I guess he forgot about the fact that he said he'd move it for me. When I then called my father to remind him of our conversation about him helping me (to be fair, it did occur last week) he sounded really frustrated and I decided to ditch the idea of moving any stoves tonight. He'd been painting and hanging wallpaper all day (which wasn't going well, I take it) and in addition to all that, it snowed several inches yesterday and it might be a bit dangerous to move anything right now. Instead I think we'll postpone the entire thing until Saturday afternoon.

Instead, I came home and decided to try out one of the gluten free cookie recipes I posted last week. I mixed up the flour mixture in a big ice-cream tubby and labeled everything so that I can easily tell which tubby holds which flour mix. Then I made the dough for the Wedding Cookies (also called Russian Teacakes in our family). Instead of the sunflower seeds, I used walnuts this time. While those were chilling in the refrigerator, I also made some Gluten Free chex-type mix. I used rice cereal, spanish peanuts, and some Glutino breadsticks I had (these are good, but not at all what I was envisioning when I bought them--no substance at all to them, so will stand in for the pretzels that chex mix normally has). I also made some chocolate chip muffins from a Gluten-Free Pantry mix that I found at Walmart the other day. I've looked at WalMart before for GF items, but always came up empty handed. This time I found brownie mix and muffin mix from Gluten-Free Pantry in the same area that the other muffin mix/cake mixes are located. I also found Midel and Pamela's Pantry cookies in the cookie section. Now if they'd only expand into having all the flours I need, as well as pastas.

So far I've taste tested the muffins and the cookies. Both are ok, and actually if I didn't know they were Gluten Free I'd probably think they were fairly average examples of what other people bake. I'm used to my baked good being much better than other people (I know, I'm not sounding very modest...just trying to convey why I'm a little frustrated.) I'm still struggling with the textures of things though--the mouth feel isn't quite right. Doughs are more grainy, not as smooth as I would like. I'm not sure whether I just haven't found the right flour combinations yet, or whether this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Time will tell, I guess...

Somewhat related to all the baking mentioned above is an amazing flourless cake recipe that I stumbled across several weeks ago. I was shopping at Sam's for catering supplies for last weekend, and was able to sample this cake. I'm going to make some for myself soon, although maybe I'll have to invite some people over to enjoy it with me since I probably shouldn't eat an entire cake by myself! :) Anyone want to join me?

Milk Chocolate Flourless Cake
(6 servings)

4 oz. Hershey's milk Chocolate Kisses, unwrapped (I think I may try chocolate chips to substitute if I don't have the kisses on hand)
1 stick butter
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs
1/2 cup cocoa, plus additional for dusting

Preheat oven to 375 degrees and butter sides of 8 inch round baking pan. Line bottom with a round of wax paper and butter the paper.

Combine butter and kisses in a microwavable bowl, and heat on medium/high 40-50 seconds. Stir until smooth. If needed, heat again for 20 seconds or until mixture is smooth when stirred.

Whisk in the sugar until combined. Mixture will not be smooth.

Add eggs one at a time and stir until smooth. Add the cocoa slowly and mix until blended. pour batter into pan and place in the middle of oven for 25 minutes or until top has formed a thin crust.

Cool for 5 minutes and invert onto a serving plate. Dust cake with additional cocoa.

Family

2008-12-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

I attend such a wonderful church here in Marion. Upon discovering that I now needed to live gluten-free, one of my friends made an announcement to the congregation during a service several weeks ago. Since then there have been many concerned members who have asked me how the diet is going, offered advice that they've gleaned from "friends of friends", and in general just showed such concern for me and my well being.

Last night was our Christmas Vespers service, and yet another example of their love for me. Someone brought me special gluten free cookies and a recipe attached to the container for how to make them. Originally the recipe was full of gluten, but the recipe has been altered to have brown rice flour instead of wheat flour. The whole Darrow family now likes the gluten free version better than the previous version. Let me tell you, these cookies are scrumptious! Last night I was able to limit myself to one, but I just snarfed down three in the space of 5 minutes. I've only got two left, and then I'll be baking them for myself.

Grandma Darrow's Monster Cookies (Gluten Free Version)

Cream together: 3 eggs and 2 cups brown sugar
Add and beat until smooth: 1 t. vanilla, 1/4 t. white corn syrup, 1 1/2 cup peanut butter, 1 stick butter
Add and mix: 2 t. baking soda, 1/2 cup rice flour, 4 1/2 cups oatmeal, 1/2 c. M&Ms, 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Scoop into balls with cookie scoop or ice cream dipper for big cookies. Flatten on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 min.

Let's try these!

2008-12-10T05:41:00.000-08:00

My friend Diana gives me her copy of "Living Without" (a magazine for people with food allergies--predominately gluten free recipes) after she is done reading it. This month's recipes are all about cooking for the holidays. Most exciting to me was a section on Christmas cookies! For everyday, eating gluten free is easy for me. I was a bit upset though that I was going to have to give up the holiday food that is so important to family traditions. Maybe it won't have to happen now!

I haven't tried any of these, but I'm going to post the recipes so that I don't have to lug the copies of the magazine all over, and they are easily accessed when I go home and have some time to bake with Mom. I will report back which ones are keepers and which should be tossed! Hopefully they will all be keepers!

Here is the basic cookie flour mix that you'll need for all the recipes.

Gluten-Free Cookie Flour Mix
4 cups fine brown rice flour
1 1/3 cups potato starch (not potato flour)
2/3 cup tapioca flour/starch

Combine all ingredients. Store in the refrigerator until ready to use.

And now for the cookie recipes! I'm looking forward to decorating cookies with my mom when I go home for Christmas. Some of my favorite memories are Christmas memories of decorating cookies with Mom and Heidi. Mom's cookies always looked the best, absolutely beautiful and more work of art than cookie. Heidi and I had plenty of fun though, and enjoyed making ours as glittery and crunchy as possible--sometimes to the point of being inedible. The cookies got mixed up and put in tins, and Dad was always happy to eat our creations!

Melt-in-Your-Mouth Sugar Cookies
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening (can be dairy free, etc... if allergic)
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix (above)
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar

1. Place confectioner's sugar and shortening in bowl and beat on medium speed until smooth and slightly fluffy.
2. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
3. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum, baking soda and cream of tartar.
4. Add flour mixture to sugar mixture, beating on low speed until thoroughly combined.
5. Gather up dough into a ball and chill it for 2 hours.
6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
7. Flour (with GF flour!) your work surface and rolling pin. Roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes with your favorite cookie cutters. Using a thin spatula, transfer cookies to cookie sheets. Gather up remaining scraps of dough and roll out again, cutting and rolling until you've used it all.
8. Bake cookies in preheated oven on center rack for 10 minutes. Cool on cookie sheets for 10 minutes before transferring to wire rack.
9. Decorate with icing! My favorite part!

Spritz Cookies
(these are the ones I'm most excited about! A family favorite!)
1 1/2 cups shortening
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. double-acting baking powder
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla extract (our family usually uses almond extract, I believe)
3 1/2 cups GF cookie flour mix
3/4 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Beat shortening and sugar in an electric mixer set on medium for about 30 seconds. Add baking powder and mix until combined. Beat in egg and vanill aextract until combined.
3. In a separate bowl, combine GF flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
4. Add the flour mixture to the shortening mixture, beating on low speed until combined.
5. Pack the dough into a cookie press. Place the face of the press firmly down on an ungreased cookie sheet and press out cookie, a single press for each cookie. Space cookies about 1 inch apart. Decorate with colored sugar, sprinkles, etc...
6. Bake for 8 minutes on center rack in preheated oven until cookie edges are firm but not brown. Cool cookies on the cookie sheet for a couple minutes before transferring to a wire rack.

Old-Fashioned Ginger Snaps
1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar
4 T. brown sugar
4 T. molasses
4 T. orange marmalade
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 cup sugar, for rolling

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Beat shortening and granulated sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. Add brown sugar, molasses, orange marmalade and vanilla. Mix thoroughly.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt and spices.
4. Add flour mixture to shortening mixture and beat on low speed to combine.
5. Using your hands, roll uniform-sized pieces of dough into balls.
6. Roll balls in the sugar and place on the parchment paper.
7. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for 14 minutes.
8. Let cookies cool about 5 minutes on cookie sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Wedding Cookies
(maybe my all-time favorite cookie)
1/2 cup confectioner's sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups GF cookie flour mix
1/2 tsp. xanthan gum
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup finally chopped roasted sunflower seeds (I think we use either walnuts or almonds--I'll have to ask Mom about this)

1. In a large bowl, combine confectioner's sugar, shortening and vanilla extract. Blend well.
2. In a separate bowl, combine flour mix, xanthan gum and salt.
3. Stir flour mixture and sunflower seeds into sugar mixture, mixing with hands until dough holds together. Cover the bowl and let chill about 1 hour.
4. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 cookie sheets with parchment paper.
5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator. Flour your hands and shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place balls 1 inch apart on the cookie sheets.
6. Bake cookies on center rack in preheated oven for about 20 minutes until set but not brown.
7. Spread additional sugar evenly over the surface of a large plate. Reserve.
8. Cool cookies for 10 minutes on sheets. Gently remove with a thin spatula and roll them in confectioner's sugar. Cool completely and re-roll in confectioner's sugar, adding additional sugar as needed.

And the last recipe was given to me by one of my paraprofessionals. Her family has several gluten intolerant people, and so this is a Peanut Butter cookie recipe she makes for all of them. According to Erin, they taste exactly like the real thing!

Erin's Peanut Butter Cookies
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg

That's it! Bake as you would for a normal recipe of PB cookies.

Yippee! I found something I like!

2008-12-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

Okay,this is sad. I've already told you that the thing that I was most concerned with about going gluten free was the fact that I wouldn't be able to enjoy beer anymore. This coming from a person that rarely drinks--only partaking when I'm with other family members or friends.

While I've found some really bad gluten free items, I've also found some really good things. Two of the best items are gluten free beer! Yippee!!!

Mom and Dad indulged me the other night when we were in Wichita, and we made a trip to Jacob's--the biggest liquor store in Wichita. There I found 3 gluten free beers, one of which I had already tried and decided I hated. Marion in all of it's glory actually carries gluten free beer, although not a brand that actually tastes any good. I had tried Dragon's Gold even before I was diagnosed--it is terrible! Maybe it was what I was eating while I was drinking, but it wasn't to my liking. Very much like a porter, and although I like dark beer, I don't have a taste for porter. I was so excited to find 2 other types of gluten free beer at Jacob's. I bought 6 packs of both.

Anheuser-Busch has a new gluten free beer, called "Redbridge". It is made from sorghum, and is very very good. Reminds me a bit of a wheat beer.

Lakefront Brewery from Milwaukee has a new beer called "New Grist". Made from sorghum and rice extracts, it also is very good.

Between the two of these, I will be fine. Now I've only got to convince the owner in Marion to carry at least one of them.

While I'm drinking my New Grist tonight, I'm waiting for a loaf of bread to rise. I've been really hungry for a crispy grilled cheese sandwich and hot tomato soup to dip in since it has been so cool lately. But...I can't just go out to the store and buy a loaf of bread anymore. I've got to plan ahead and have something already baked. Pamela's Products wonderful bread mix to the rescue again!

My next project will be to make some pecan sticky rolls with the same bread mix. My friend Diana made some right before Thanksgiving, and I guess they were amazing. She says she made the sweet roll dough from on the same package. She put melted butter, cinnamon, and pecans in the bottom of muffin tins, and then scooped some dough in each. YUM!

I'll keep you updated as I discover new products. I hope you are all doing well!

I've got a "Gratitude Attitude"

2008-11-26T12:19:00.000-08:00

This past week the kindergarten, 1st and 2nd graders had their Thanksgiving concert. One of the songs was called "Gratitude Attitude". At a point in the song the kids were able to come up to the mic and shout out what they were grateful for. Many mentioned family, friends, living in the US, etc... The one that was my favorite though was a former student of mine. Knowing the kid as I do, I was praying that something acceptable would come out of his mouth when he came up to the mic. He's had a tough life...abusive father, mother who was beaten numerous times in front of him, learning disability, moving frequently between Marion and Wichita and last year his father committed suicide. He's been talking about his father a lot recently, and his mother wasn't quite sure what would come out of his mouth when he got his chance. We were all relieved when out of his mouth popped "I'm thankful for bananas!" :)

I too am thankful for bananas. I'm thankful for so much more though.

I'm thankful for loving parents who take care of me and have raised me in a wonderful home.
I'm thankful for my sister Heidi, and the loving close friendship we share.
I'm thankful for my dear brother-in-law, Tim, who always makes me smile.
I'm thankful for my nephew Gustav, and his continued good health and constant learning.
I'm thankful for my extended families on both sides, and the fact that we are so close to each other and enjoy spending time with each other.
I'm thankful for a talented surgeon, a benign tumor, and continued recovery.
I'm thankful for a new diagnosis of celiac, and the possibilities of fewer migraines in my future!
I'm thankful for my many friends. They span the globe and have many interests, but I love spending time with each of them.
I'm thankful for a stable job in this unstable economic time.

I am blessed.

Tomorrow is a day devoted to counting our blessings. Mine are more numerous than what I can list here. The following Sunday is the first Sunday in Advent. While I have many of my Christmas gifts already purchased and waiting to be wrapped, I know that there are many who will not be able to give gifts.

I happened to see this clip through another friend's blog.

I've written about my hatred of Santa on here before. I won't bore you again. I feel that the clip speaks for itself, and America's consumerism. As I was watching this clip though, my mind kept coming back to how fortunate I am. The church I attend here in Marion usually participates in Marion's version of the Angel Tree. This year our town is in crisis. In a town of 1800 the closings of businesses and layoffs in others has been felt drastically. Our food bank is nearly empty. Parents aren't concerned with giving their children presents for Christmas this year, they need food to put in their children's mouths. Instead of collecting presents for the children in Marion this year, we are all asked to donate to the food pantry.

While I am trying to stretch my dollars as far as they will go these days, I am no-where near where many families are. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, whether there will be anything to put in my mouth. My stomach does not groan with hunger pains.

Tomorrow I will be feasting with my loved ones. I am confident that the table will be packed with dishes, and that no one will be leaving hungry. We'll have seconds, thirds, and leftovers to take home. We'll laugh at each other, and with each other! :) We'll nap, we'll play. We will show our love for each other.

I'm still trying to figure out what all I can do to help those around me. So far I've got a shopping trip planned for purchasing items that food stamps won't cover (toiletries like deoderant, shampoo, etc...) and canned items. It isn't much, but it is a way I can contribute.

Happy Thanksgiving dear friends and family. May you enjoy the time with your loved ones tomorrow and over the weekend, and be thinking of those around you!

Gluten Free Lifestyle, Here I Come!

2008-11-22T11:20:00.001-08:00

It's been a crash course. I'm glad I had some time off to recover from surgery, and also fill my brain with all the dos and don'ts. I've also visited the nearest health food store (thank you Prairie Harvest!) and Dillon's several times, and stocked up on gluten free baking mixes, flour mixes, and various other items for this new undertaking.

This past week I've tested out 2 mixes. I made Chebe cinnamon rolls, and Chebe pizza crust. So far my favorite bread mix is still from Pamela's products. Chebe (pronounced Cheebee) is a company from Brazil, and the main ingredient is manioc flour (from the yucca plant). The cinnamon roll mix was ok, but nothing fantastic. The problem for me lies in the fact that I come from a family of good bakers and I've been spoiled with good food. For anyone else, the cinnamon rolls would be ok, but not for me. I'm still searching... And it may just be something that I can't make from a mix and will have to figure out a flour blend for myself. The taste was ok, although not quite right...and the texture was what really got to me. As long as I call them something else in my mind, I can eat them...but I have to trick myself! :) I think the pizza crust will be ok. I haven't actually eaten any of it yet, instead I made 4 little personal sized crusts that I can quickly prepare and eat at different times. The crust mix had italian spices mixed in and smelled wonderful. If not, Pamela's Products will come to the rescue again!

I've ordered several books and cookbooks these last weeks. It seems that Bette Hagman is the go-to person for celiac cooking and baking. She's got several cookbooks on the market and is often referred to in other cookbooks. (She hails from Seattle--hey Abbe, do you have a hookup for me? :) ) One of her cookbooks, "The Gluten-Free Gourmet Cooks Comfort Foods", even has a recipe for Swedish Pancakes! I thought that those were only comfort food for my sister and myself! Who knew the whole world considers them comfort food! :)

I'm including the Gluten Free baking mix that she has developed. That way I can access it whenever I travel.

Gluten Free Mix (can be exchanged cup for cup for wheat flour)
2 parts rice flour
2/3 part potato starch
1/3 part tapioca flour

Featherlight Rice Flour Mix (use for more delicate items like cakes, cookies, biscuits)
1 part rice flour
1 part tapioca flour
1 part cornstarch
1 tsp per cup potato flour (3 cups various flours=3 tsp. potato flour)

I'll keep updating all of you as I find new favorite recipes. I think I may have to make Swedish pancakes for supper tonight though!

I'm beat

2008-11-17T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today was my first day back to work after surgery. It was a hard day. I went home early, at 2:30 (which is my plan time) and I'll probably continue to do that this week until I get more of my energy back. The sad thing was that I was ready to be back home on the couch by 9:00 this morning.

My body continues to adjust. I'm not sure that I have the correct dosage of thyroid hormone as my skin is really dry--uncomfortably so. My next appointment is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My hormones are on a roller coaster while my body adjusts...I'm close to tears much of the day. People being nice to me make my cry, and the thoughtless things people say make me cry. In general, the tears are always ready to fall.

One of the children I have in class brought me a basket filled with candy and cookies....tears. Coworkers asking me how I am....tears. Co-teacher announcing my return in front of the entire school at assembly...tears. Staff thanksgiving dinner (where I could hardly eat anything except olives and carrot sticks)...tears. Coworkers checking on me throughout the day and urging me to go home...tears.

Most of those instances I was able to keep myself in check, wiping away the tears quickly and moving on. The one thing that I can't get over was said to me last week. The tears keep coming for this one because it really felt like my entire situation was trivialized. Whether because of lack of knowledge or a general lack of interest (or tact) I'm not sure, but I was told that I am not really badly gluten intolerant, that I should be able to try different gluten filled food if I want a taste, and that I'm not as sick as other celiacs the person knows. The reasoning behind this was that I don't have to run to the bathroom and vomit everytime I eat gluten. While I care for and respect those that suffer in this manner, or with IBS, I have to say that this comment hurt. Do my 10 years of daily migraines not count as suffering? Does the fact that 2 weeks ago I had major surgery (total thyroidectomy) not count? The gluten poisoned my system and attacked a major part of my body. If I don't stop eating gluten now, what will it attack next?

While I am upset over comments like this, as well as the idea that I have to totally change my diet, I'm also thankful that I've finally found some answers. In the week and half that I haven't eaten gluten, I haven't had a migraine! Have I finally found the answer? If so, I'm willing to eat Gluten free for the rest of my life!

I'm thankful for my friend, Diana. She's helping me sort through all the gluten free garbage out there, and find the good stuff! She's brought me food while I recovered, invited me to lectures (even before I was diagnosed!), loaned me magazines, and just provided me with someone I can talk to about all of this.

I'm thankful for my parents too, as they have volunteered (even Dad, the carb king!) to try different pastas and things while I search for things that are tasty. Mom and Dad came over last night for supper, and I think I may have convinced Dad that gluten free can be tasty too.

More Lab Results

2008-11-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

This has been a full week for me! While I was home recuperating with Mom and Dad I got some other lab results back as well. About one month ago I took at test that was looking for gluten sensitivities. The lab company emailed me back and I test positive for celiac disease.

I've found a lot of research regarding migraines and gluten intolerance, and so originally this was why I wanted to get the testing done. Since then I've found a lot more research that indicates gluten intolerance and thyroid problem are linked. So, it seems that gluten has caused me numerous problems. As troublesome as it is right now, I'm excited about the possibilities of NO MORE MIGRAINES!!!

While this will involve an overhaul of my diet and lifestyle, I know I am more fortunate than others. I am a cook and baker, and I understand what goes into food. I will be better able to identify foods that will be problems for me and avoid them. Since I am familiar with the kitchen, I know that I will be able to come up with new ways of creating things I already love. I've discovered a wonderful company "Pamela's Products" that has a wonderful bread mix that can be made into loaves, pizza crust, foccacia, hamburger buns, bagels...etc... Actually everything I've tried from her company is wonderful--cake mixes, cookies, etc... Knowing that, I know that I will still be able to celebrate with my family and friends all the momentous occasions that life is full of. The thing I'm mourning the most right now is beer! I don't drink very often, but I do enjoy the flavors of the areas I visit when I travel. I'm sure I'll be fine though, and find suitable alternatives.

Path report

2008-11-05T14:15:00.000-08:00

The tumor was benign!

Recovery at Mom and Dad's

2008-11-04T18:15:00.000-08:00

I apologize in advance for any incomplete sentences and misspellings...My eyes are very droopy and I'm ready to rest for awhile. The pain medication they have me on is some good stuff! :)

First, thank you to all of you for your prayers and well wishes. It was evident that there are many people out there who care for me, and I appreciate your love very much.

Monday morning I checked in to Newton Medical Center at 6:00. I was to have an incision on the right side of the neck, as this was where the larger part of the tumor was. The plan was that the larger portion of tumor would be taken out, as well as one lobe of the thyroid. The tumor would be tested to see whether it was malignant. If it did turn out to be malignant, Dr. Cranston planned on going back in later that day, or sometime today to get the rest of the thyroid and tumor. That was the plan, although it was not how the surgery actually went.

He did start on the right side, but once he got in there he found that the left lobe of the thyroid was full of nodules, and that there was no longer any healthy part of the thyroid. Since my thyroid levels have always come back within the "normal" range, or right on the edge of what is acceptable, I am very confused. Even though I have many of the symptoms of hypothyroidism; there have been some drs. that have inferred that it was all in my head. I know differently now. Dr. Cranston said that I had the worst case of thyroiditis that he had ever seen; and that he and the pathologist have spent plenty of time looking at my thyroid under the microscope in wonder. He took the left side of the thyroid as well. This means that I have a larger incision (it goes across the entire front of my neck), and has left me feeling a bit like what I would think the headless horseman to feel--like I could detach my head and carry it at my side. Dr. Cranston said that I would have had to have another surgery at a later date to take the left side of the thyroid, so he took it all at once.

The path report is still not back for the tumor. Dr. Cranston told me originally that we would know one way or another by Monday afternoon. This then turned into Tuesday morning, then Tuesday afternoon, and I was told today when I was being dismissed that he hopes to have it to me by tomorrow morning. The dr. said that he was taking "deeper cuts" of the tumor each time he was sending it off, which is leaving me feeling a bit unsettled. He did say that during the surgery he was able to check my lymph nodes, as well as the parathyroids, and that they seemed "clean". He feels that the tumor will most likely come back benign, but did say that I couldn't hold him to that if it turns out differently.

For those of you who don't know, the thyroid is a butterfly shaped gland in your neck. It is located where the Adam's apple is on a man. The thyroid is in charge of regulating metabolism, and the absorption of calcium, among many other things. Since I no longer have a thyroid, I will need to be on thyroid supplement for the rest of my life (I had already been on it for several years; although I will be switching to Armour now instead of taking the synthetic); as well as taking calcium supplements three times a day.

While there are still unknowns, I am feeling better about some things. One of the things I was most concerned about was whether my vocal chords would be harmed--a big risk for this surgery. This was very disturbing for me, since I am a teacher and make a living using my voice. Vocal music is also a large part of my life, and I was scared that I was going to have to give that up. As I was coming to I overheard a conversation between the surgeon and the anesthesiologist--there was very real concern that they had nicked my vocal chords, and were uncertain about whether I would be able to talk. While I haven't tried singing yet (and most likely won't be attempting that for awhile); I do know that I'm able to speak. It is very uncomfortable at this point, but I know that this will get better. I hope that my singing voice has been left intact as well.

I had very good care at Newton Medical Center, and I'm thankful for the people who took care of me over the past several days. They all took the time to answer questions, give me extra bag baths and hair washing, as well as try to make me comfortable in any way they could.

As well as the pain I feel at the incision area; my throat hurts anytime I swallow or cough. I also seem to be allergic to latex--something I only recently found out. My entire body itches, and I've got rashes in all the areas that had tape or dressings that were latex. I'm hopeful that this will go away in the next few days.

I return to see Dr. Cranston on Friday to see whether he can remove the sutures.

Okay, it's time for me to drift off. Thank you again to all of you!

Love,
Erica

Fall has come!

2008-10-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

This past week I spent 5 days in Minnesota. I just arrived home last night to find the air with a chill in it, and crunchy leaves strewn on my lawn. It is feeling like fall, my favorite time of year. When we left Kansas last Wednesday morning, the leaves had just begun to turn shades of yellow, red, orange and brown. On the ride back from Minnesota yesterday though, it seemed like we saw them changing before our eyes. It was beautiful!

The conference I attended was called "Closing the Gap" and was about assistive technology. I am one of the assistive technology coordinators for our special education cooperative, and this was a chance for me to learn more about what my role is. There are 5 of us on the AT team, some of whom have been on the team for several years, and 2 that have joined us as of this summer. This was one of the first things we did together as a team, and we used the chance to get to know each other. Of course, 9 hours in the car can be quite the bonding experience, especially when 3 of the 5 are prone to car sickness. All in all it was a great trip. I was able to attend many very good workshops, plus talk to vendors about products that are currently on the market. I feel like I learned a lot of new things, and came away with many ideas of how to make what I'm already doing even better!

Workshop sessions started at 8 each morning, and ran until 5:00 each evening. Each session was an hour, with 1/2 hour in between to account for getting to and from each session (sessions were split between two hotels that were across the street from each other).

We stayed in a very nice hotel (Hotel Sofitel http://www.sofitel.com/gb/hotel-0539-sofitel-minneapolis/index.shtml) and our rooms were amazing! It was culture shock for some of our group. The Sofitel is French owned and operated, so everyone spoke with an accent. Comfortable beds, with down duvet comforters, turn down service, etc... :) There was a nice European bakery in the hotel, so I was able to have good pastry for breakfast that tasted as it should!

In the evenings we went to the Mall of America for dinner, and activities. We ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp (think Forest Gump), Rainforest Cafe, and Kokomo's (Jamacian tiki bar theme). We had wonderful food everyday, and it will be hard to go back to the "regular" food I eat! Activities were shopping, the great amusement park that is inside (awesome roller coaster!), and a movie (The Duchess). I was able to shop for some of the birthday and Christmas presents I'll need, and I hit the sale racks for clothing. I was able to go to my favorite shop H&M, something I usually can only do when I'm in Europe!

I had a great time at the conference, but I was eager to get home and in my own house.

I'm including the link to my class's blog. (http://deeperdigging.blogspot.com) We're just starting to use it in our classroom. Please check back often to see my student's work. Check out the Voki on the right side--press play and hear my message! My student's would love it if you responded about their work occasionally. Comments will be moderated, so don't be surprised if the comment doesn't show up right away. I want to make sure it is appropriate before I let my students see it!

Thank you!

2008-09-25T20:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a week...it seemed to drag on forever! Even though it seemed so long, I have to express my thanks to all of you for your prayers and well-wishes. I was surprisingly very calm this week. Aside from a few tears last Tuesday after first talking to Dr. Cranston, I've been calm and composed. I am sure the prayers are a large part of that.

I met today with Dr. Cranston. The visit did not go as I anticipated, but who really knows what to expect when you're preparing for a visit. Dr. Cranston and I sat down to talk today about what my "options" are. He started the visit by just asking what I had to say, what I had researched, etc... I explained that I understood what the two options were (adenoma, and carcinoma), that from my reading I felt that I wanted to have the surgery, but that I had lots of questions for him. I spent the whole week researching thyroid tumors and cancer, and felt I was well prepared for my visit with him. Dr. Cranston did not really tell me anything I hadn't already read, but it was good to talk to someone in person about it, instead of just reading it. I was able to tell what I knew, and see if I truly understood what was going on. Sometimes knowledge is the most helpful when fighting your fears!

We talked a lot about the possibility of this being cancer, and the fact that we wouldn't know one way or another until the surgery happens. From talking to Dr. Cranston today, he really didn't talk at all about me NOT having surgery, so I feel like I'm making the right choice, one that he would make for himself. As it is right now, I'll have surgery Nov. 3, and will stay 2 days in the hospital. I'll be off work for at least a week, and it could be more depending on how I'm feeling. The larger part of the tumor is on the right side of my thyroid, and Dr. Cranston will take one lobe of the thyroid during the surgery. Tests will be run, and depending on what is found, I may be taken back to surgery the same day or the next day to take out more tumor/thyroid tissue. If it is cancer, I get to look forward to drinking a radioactive cocktail that will hopefully kill the rest of it.

I'm feeling good about the whole thing--like I know what is going on, and what to expect. There are some risks to surgery, but I'm going to trust that Dr. Cranston knows what he is doing.

I would appreciate your continued prayers, but I really just wanted to say THANK YOU. I have definitely felt God's peace this week. I'll keep you updated as I know more.

Prayers would be appreciated

2008-09-17T18:58:00.000-07:00

Last year about Thanksgiving time I wasn't feeling myself--nothing really bad, but just not like myself. I felt stupid for even complaining about it, but went to the doctor anyway. During the course of the visit, we found a lump on my thyroid. I was referred to a specialist for further evaluation. The specialist (Dr. Cranston) diagnosed me with a multi nodular goiter, and increased my thyroid medication, to make up for the lack of thyroid hormone I was naturally producing. At that time the dr. did a biopsy, which came back with no cancerous cells.

I have gone back several times since then, as it is important to keep the thyroid level within certain amounts. My last visit was this last Thursday. I anticipated that it would be much like my other visits. Checked in, asked how I'm feeling, quick sonogram of the goiter, blood testing, and I'm on my way... This time was different. The goiter had changed size. Dr. Cranston took another biopsy, had me do the blood work, and then told me he'd let me know what the results were.

I've been waiting for the results all week. I called yesterday to see whether the results were back, and I ended up talking to his nurse. She told me after looking at the pathology report that the cells didn't look the way they should, but that the dr. would need to talk to me about it. She left him a note to call me. Needless to say, I was unnerved...but I told myself that I shouldn't get too worried without talking to the dr. The nurse told me that the dr. had a full schedule of patients that afternoon, that he was still in surgery, but that I could expect a call from him yesterday evening. If I did not hear from him by 11:30 this morning, I was supposed to call back. Dr. Cranston did not call me last night, nor did he call me by 11:30 this morning. At lunch time I called the dr.'s office to see what was going on. Again, he had a full load of patients, but he would call me later in the afternoon.

After another phone call on my part in the afternoon, the dr. finally called me back this evening. My thyroid levels are normal, but the cells from the biopsy are not. He wasn't able to go into anything in detail this evening, except to say that the tumor is either a follicular adenoma or follicular carcinoma. From what I've been able to research so far an adenoma is a benign tumor, while carcinoma is cancer. Dr. Cranston said that it would be up to me as to whether we would take it out, but did say that the only way to know which it was for sure was to do surgery and take it all out. He wants to meet with me and talk about it more in depth and in person instead of over the phone, so I will be going this coming Thursday for another appointment to talk about my options. Until then I'll be doing some reading, so that I can go into the meeting feeling prepared and armed with good questions.

Tonight I've swung between feelings of extreme calm and peace, level headed and prepared for whatever may come, to tears and fear of the unknown. I swing from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of minutes, depending on who I'm talking to or what I'm thinking about.

Tomorrow I head to school and a "normal" day. I'm going to try to act as if everything is ok, not only for my own sanity, but because my kids are very good at reading emotions and then being affected by the adults in their day. I'm going to try to be very calm for the rest of the week, and concentrate on knowing as much as I can before the next time I see Dr. Cranston. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go about the next week, I'm sure I will need them.

Welcome to the World

2008-09-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

Announcing the birth of

Elijah James Hoelscher
September 6, 2008

Proud parents are: Becca and Micah Hoelscher

Becca was one of my roomies in college! Can't wait to see my new "nephew"!

Hello everyone!

2008-08-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Saturday we enjoyed a beautiful evening at the reservoir. Ruth and the kids joined Mom, Dad and me for an evening of food and swimming. We grilled Hillsboro sausage, ate fresh veggies and dip, enjoyed several salads and of course yummy smores. After dinner the kids and I went swimming, the water was cool because we were in the shade by that point, but we had a good time playing Monkey in the Middle and just swimming around.

Mint and Feta Lentil Salad
1 cup lentils
3 bay leaves
4 cloves garlic
1/4 to 1/2 tsp. oregano
1 red onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
5 TBSP chopped mint (I used dried)
salt and pepper to taste
6 oz. Feta cheese

Marinade
6 TBSP olive oil
6 TBSP red wine vinegar
2 TBSP lime juice
1/2 to 1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. minced garlic

Rinse lentils. Cover lentils with water with several inches extra. Put in bay leaves, garlic and oregano, and boil. Lower heat and simmer for 20-25 minutes, until lentils are tender. Drain and cool.

Whisk together the marinade/dressing, and add salt and pepper. Add the veggies and dressing to the lentils and let it marinate before serving. Add mint and feta right before serving.

Sunday the Buller siblings sat in Arlin and Maretta's basement to divide out some of the boxes left over from moving Grandma. I went as well, and enjoyed listening to their stories and their laughter together. I am so thankful to be part of 2 large families that love to be together. Not very many are as fortunate as I.

We've had some spectacular sunsets in my area of KS recently. Sunsets are one of my favorite ways of remembering God and his love for us. I've been reading the book "The Shack" these past weeks. It is a book that has been difficult for me to get through (although this is not most people's experience with the book). While at times I have forced myself to keep turning the pages, I do like the fact that the book questions what we feel we "know" about God. While we "know" that God is neither male nor female, most of the people I went to school with only see God as a male figure, and when we talked about God as a mother in Bible class, reacted with a feeling close to revulsion. In the book "The Shack" God appears as an African American woman, speaking in incomplete sentences, and dishing up collard greens. I've never understood my classmate's reactions in that Bible class, whether they were more familiar with a vengeful God, whether it was a battle over the sex of God, etc... For myself, I delight in the idea that God escapes our ability for exact descriptions. My own imagination has several versions of what God looks like, but my favorite closely resembles the grandfather figure in my favorite children's book "Grandfather Twilight", by Barbara Berger. The book has beautiful soft pictures, and its a wonderful 'good-night' book before bed. The story shows Grandfather Twilight as he walks through the darkened forest each evening to welcome the night with his gift to the darkness, the moon. The recent sunsets have had me turning the pages to this book many times in the past weeks. Each time I look at it I smile, and find peace in the knowledge I have a loving mother, father, friend, and protector...May you have that same peace.

Good night!

1 week done!

2008-08-22T05:25:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple weeks since I was sitting on Mom and Dad's back porch, spending the day researching appropriate woods for smoking and which ones Dad can use from his pile in the back, smelling the smoke that was cooking our meat. The salmon is amazing, and something we will be doing again soon. It might just be the best thing we've ever done on the smoker. Maybe we'll take orders next time! :)

School has started. Today ends our first full week. One of my kids has been missing all week, and he's the one that will take the most time from my day. He's got very low skills, and terrible behaviors... This week is the calm before the storm of the next school year. It's been a full week even without him, and I'm tired to the bone. It has been a good week, to see how the schedule will work this year, where there are problems, and fix them before I can't concentrate on those things...

I'm tired not just from work, but I've been making an effort to exercise every morning and evening. As it is now, I'm swimming 1/2 mile in the morning, and 1/4 mile in the evenings, plus 1 hour of water aerobics Monday through Thursday evenings. Rising at 5:40 a.m. has never been something I enjoy, but I know I need to do it. It takes me about 20 minutes to swim my 1/2 mile and then I shower and get ready for school. The pool is just across the street from the school, so I don't even bother going home again. I'm getting done quickly, and hope to add more to my workout, but my shoulders are giving me problems...I think I better stick with what I've been doing for awhile and hope the shoulders can work through it.

Last night I didn't get home from work until 9:30 p.m. After working at the school, I packed up my massage table and went on a home visit. I gave two hour-long massages, then packed up my table again and headed back to town. I unloaded everything, was at home for maybe 10 minutes, and then went to the massage clinic and two more massages. At 9:30 when I got home, I just dropped in bed. No supper, or anything. Far too tired!

Tonight I need to run to Hillsboro after school and stock up on Hillsboro sausage. I'm planning a cookout at the reservoir tomorrow night for the Kreiders (family that I was a nanny for in Germany), and mom and dad. I've got a bunch of food type stuff to get done tonight (pasta salad, lentil salad, baked beans, veggies/dip, sausage cut in appropriate lengths), plus I'd like to have a chance to hang out with a few of my friends and relax tonight! I suppose I should pick up my house too, in case we get rained out tomorrow night.

Tomorrow I have a couple massages, but I'm hoping it will be a slower day overall. Have a great weekend, everyone!

And here I sit...

2008-08-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

I'm currently encamped on my parent's back deck, watching the rain drizzle down, with my feet up, smelling the smells of Winfield. Occasionally I get up to check the temperature on the smoker, and adjust it so the temp stays under 200 degrees. The smoke pouring out of it smells wonderful, and we'll be the talk of the neighborhood today. 2 weeks ago we smoked 12 chickens. Today we are attempting beef--and lots of it! These are the biggest roasts I've ever seen. We'll also do 3 chickens later today, and I'm going to do 2 salmon halves. We've never tried the beef or the salmon, so I'm hoping for good results.

This morning I marinated the salmon in rum, and then put a brown sugar and coarse salt rub on it. They are sitting in the fridge right now curing, and then later today I'll put them on the smoker. It has to be good, right? :) We also made a mop-sauce for the beef--a combination of beer and what we rubbed the beef in. We're hopeful it will keep the beef nice and moist.

Our weather this week has gone between the extremes--hot and humid 100+ to nice and cool and rainy (enough so that I'm all bundled up, and thinking about begging for a pair of pants!) I much prefer the weather of today to the hot stuff we had yesterday, fall is my favorite season after all. Maybe we'll have a longer fall this year--it always seems to go so fast. Instead of fall weather, we end up having 100+ days through September, and then October it is winter all of a sudden. Ok, my perception might be skewed a bit...but the true fall days don't last very long around here.

Yesterday was my first day back at work. I say that, but I really didn't ever not work this summer. I spent much of my summer working for the special education cooperative with teaching summer school, or doing assistive technology work. When I wasn't doing school related things, I was at the massage clinic. Yesterday though was the first day I had to report for the new school year. The SPED coop had inservice yesterday. It is always a boring day, sitting in uncomfortable chairs, and listening to dry reports and regulation changes. I had to present a 30 minute talk on Assistive Technology with my team. It went pretty well, but the director informed me that there will be several more talks to come. I am able to speak to large groups, but it is NOT my favorite thing to do. The director wants me (with help from the other members of the team) to end up doing several teacher inservices throughout the coming year(s). Normally teachers travel to places to hear presentations for inservice from experts in the field, hiring a sub for their classroom, etc... Now he wants to set it up on a more local level, and wants me to do some presentations in regards to specific software and which technology works with which types of kids. I'm nervous about it...again, public speaking is not my favorite, and I feel like I'm still a young teacher, not someone who has been teaching for ages and ages, and very unlike the experts we all go and hear at our conferences. But I also appreciate the fact that he has confidence in me and my abilities. It makes me feel good.

Tomorrow I'm singing a solo at church, and I've invited several people to come and listen. Mom and Dad will be there too, and then we'll go try out one of the new restaurants in Marion.

Monday and Tuesday bring more inservices, this time with Marion District. Wednesday will be a work day for me, a chance to get my room in order, train my paras, etc... Thursday the kids show up, and the school year starts for another round. There are big changes on the air, especially in what is allowed for SPED and pull-out times. It will be an adjustment for everyone, but I'm anticipating a rough year with some of the teachers I work with. They don't always agree with SPED rules and regulations, and take it out on me since I'm the one who has to enforce them. I've also got some difficult kids on my caseload this year, and it will take a lot of time and patience to help them. Please keep me in your prayers as this school year starts. I'm anxious about how it will all turn out.

The name game

2008-08-02T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I've got two new members of my household. I'm hoping you can help me out, since they came without names. Meet ___________ and __________. They were given to me by a friend that I teach with. Originally they were Easter presents for her two children, but the children no longer want to take care of them, and never have played with them. We are unsure of whether they are male or female, but they are both the same sex, as they are several years old, and have not made babies together during that time. Heidi and I had a rabbit when we were younger, and although we too were reluctant to take care of it, we did love to play with it. The rabbits came with their own hutch, which is a vast improvement over the cage Heidi and I had for ours. No more changing soggy newspaper! Yippee!! It's a beast to move though, so that will be interesting whenever I move away from Marion. Please submit any suggestions for names. I also welcome any visits, from children of all ages who would like to pet and play with rabbits! :)

This is the last week before I go back to school on Friday. I gave one massage today, and then came home to clean up the house (did not get very far on this) and take a nap. I also dealt with some of the produce that has been sitting on my counter, and played with the rabbits for awhile. They had their first hop around my yard, which I'm sure is a new experience for them. I doubt they ever got out of the hutch with the former owners. By the end, they were much more willing for me to pet them than when we started. The weather around here is 100+ (I think it was 103.7 on my thermometer when I was outside with the rabbits), so I made sure to give them some air conditioning (frozen water bottles that they can lay against). The ice melted fast in this weather, so I'll have to freeze additional bottles. Thankfully we positioned the hutch so the sun won't be beating in during the hottest point in the day.

The next few days I'm planning on just staying home and relaxing. I'm not telling any of my friend around here that though, as they are all good at coming up with activities for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly, and do like to help them out and spend time with them, but I need a little time just for myself before school starts. I've got a stack of magazines, and books that I've been meaning to read all summer, as well as my house to get clean before the rush of the school year. I do have a day planned to spend time with Kym, since I rarely see her once school starts. We're planning on watching Pride and Prejudice, making bread, painting our toenails and just having fun in general.

My bathroom is completed, which brings me much joy! :) It's such a relief to have a working toilet, as well as nice new linoleum. It feels so much cleaner! I'm still waiting on a new light fixture, as they removed the old one, but overall I'm thrilled!

I'm also posting some pictures of last weekend. I spent Saturday smoking chickens (12 in all) with my father. Mom spent Sat. figuring out her new computer and internet connections, while Dad spent time helping Ken B. in the kitchen with the new cupboards and counter top. It was HOT, but we had a good time together. Next weekend I'll be smoking again, this time with beef, a few chickens, and hopefully a salmon. We haven't tried to smoke salmon before, but I'm eager to try. Sunday I sing in church, and have invited several Marion friends (as well as Mom and Dad) to come and hear me. I'm trying to figure out what to serve them all for lunch. I'm thinking chicken mole, with salad and spicy rice. It has to be something I can prepare before and just heat up, especially since I will be gone all day on Sat. and won't be able to prepare much.

Roughing it--You might be a redneck if...

2008-07-30T06:32:00.001-07:00

Your toilet is sitting on your front porch, instead of in the bathroom where it belongs...

Well, the big news in my life is that after more than a month I'm finally getting somewhere with my bathroom woes. Yesterday the landlord and his son came over, and ripped out the toilet---uugh! Gross water all over. Then they ripped out the disgusting carpet and dragged it through my house---yuck! :( I'll be deepcleaning the carpet as soon as this is all over with! They pounded on the floor for quite awhile to decide whether they needed to rip that up as well, but decided against it and are hoping it will all dry out before the guy who wants to put in the flooring comes this morning. While they were there they also removed the old medicine cabinet I had (which has been broken for at least 2 years, without mirror) and put up a new one. Of course they made quite the mess, and didn't bother to clean up any of it. So I had to. All the carpet remnants, and bits of wood smell something terrible, and made me want to puke. At least something is getting done though.

This morning I'm teaching summer school, and hopefully while I'm gone the guy will come and lay down the linoleum. I'm hoping that if he gets that done, the other guy will come and set the toilet this afternoon. Maybe I'll have a functioning bathroom by this evening? Dare I dream? Last night I had to make sure I used the facilities at the pool before going home, and being without all night. This morning I got up extra early and went to Kym and Troy's so that I could have a shower. By the time I got there I was ready to run into the bathroom, but I tried to show I was in control! :)

I've been going each evening for water aerobic classes at the new pool. I'm really enjoying being back in the water again, and I'm looking forward to being able to swim year round. I'm trying to spend 20-30 minutes swimming laps before class, then the water aerobics class is 50 minutes, and then the last 10 minutes before closing I go down the water slide, dive off the board, or swim more laps. I'm looking forward to taking all of you with me when you come visit, so make sure you bring your suits!

The garden is finally producing a bit. It's overgrown with weeds though, and it's at the point where pulling them is impossible. Quinn went in the other night with the weed wacker, but he only got part of the garden done. I went out on Monday night and looked for tomatoes. I got a few, but most are still marred with hail patches. I did get some zucchini, but they were giant, and probably won't be any good. We need to dig up the potatoes and onions, but who knows when that will happen! The last two days have been rainy--remnants of Hurricane Dolly coming through. I'm happy for the cooler weather, but that will come to an end this afternoon or tomorrow morning, and then we'll be back up to the 100+ weather. The humidity will be even worse now, with the extra rain we've gotten.

My life is boring

2008-07-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

As I've said before, my life isn't very interesting. I've been trying to figure out what to write about, but I haven't come up with much. I know my sister likes regular postings, but.... I entitled this "My Life is Boring"--which is a bit of a misnomer--I never get bored myself, there is always something going on, something I'm doing, etc... But I realize that the things that keep me busy are not always things that are interesting to read about, and in turn are most likely boring for you!

For the past week and 1/2 I've been teaching summer school. Summer school continues for another week and 1/2. I've got a mix of 4th graders through high school aged kids...some have had me for a teacher before, and for some this is a new experience. I've got a few that I'm having a hard time with--I expect kids to work, and try to do things on their own...but for some of these kids it has been bred out of them! Instead of teaching them how to do things on their own, their teachers hand them the answers. This is much easier on the teacher--less time consuming,less work, etc...but does not help the child in the end. When the kid shows up in my classroom then for summer school, it is a rude awakening. After relying on an adult for so long, my classroom is a different experience. I've got one kid who came with work sent by the teacher (this child will be entering the 7th grade in a few weeks)...we were supposed to conquer division in 3 weeks--the kid can't even count by 2s. So, I finally told the kid that we wouldn't even bother with the division problems, that there were other things we need to concentrate on first. We've been working on counting by 2s, 5s, 10s, and yesterday we worked on 3s. We're slowly making our way through the multiplication facts. I'm trying to make it as interesting as possible, showing him little tricks for memorization, listening to School House Rock (3 is the Magic Number), making things tactile... Some of them don't have tricks though, so he'll just have to memorize them. If you had a special way of learning your multiplication facts, please let me know. I'll certainly try to pass it along!

I spent the afternoon out with some friends...one of them has a huge pool at her house, so we spent the afternoon lounging around in the water and trying to avoid the splashes of her two young children. We had a good time--most of us are teaching summer school together--and there is always tons of good gossip! Most interesting is the fact that the local school district has finally settled their teacher negotiations. My salary is the average of all 5 districts in Marion county, so we've been waiting to see what we might get for an increase this year. Insurance policies are also changing, so we're all hopeful it will be beneficial and cover the increases in insurance premiums.

That's all for now... Hope you are all doing well!

Bits and Pieces

2008-07-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

There isn't much new around here. It feels as though summer is coming to a close though.

In the past week I've split my time between the massage clinic and home. Carolan took the week off, which means I had more clients. I'm always happy about that--more clients=more money to pay bills with! Of course the extra clients came just in time to pay for massage supplies I needed to order.

This week I've done some major cleaning (NOT my favorite job, but one that needs to be done, none the less); I've rearranged the furniture in my front room, as well as the dining room; made mozzarella cheese; and made use of the new clothesline mom and dad helped me put up. As much as I hated hanging clothes out when I was a kid, I'm really kindof enjoying my new clothesline. I don't know whether it is the idea of being out in the sun (something I don't do very often since I get hot so easily, not to mention the threat of skin cancer some day); the fact that I'm saving money with each load; or the idea of helping the earth...I really am having fun. Of course with all the sheets from the massage clinic, I'm sure this will get old fast, and it will no longer be fun. Friend Kym has been spending quite a bit of time with me this week, and she helped me rearrange the house. We've had a great time laughing and telling stories. I showed her how to make the mozzarella one morning, after she had made fun of me for being so bored I started making cheese. Of course, after tasting it, I think she changed her mind! :)

Just got back tonight from watching Journey to the Center of the Earth--great flick, and in 3D! I hadn't seen a 3D film since I was a small child, and I have to say this one was impressive! I'd even see it again! I remember that as a child I wasn't too impressed with the cardboard glasses with one side blue, and the other red...maybe I was just too young to really enjoy it. This time was better--and the special glasses were a step up from what I remember.

Monday brings the start of summer school, and what feels like the end of summer to me. At least it will only be mornings, but I'll still be doing massage in the afternoons. I'm sure the days will fill up and it will go by quickly. This summer sure has! I haven't gotten as much on my "to-do" list done as I would have liked, but I suppose everyone feels like that. My garden needs a good weeding, my yard needs to be mowed again, the back room still needs to be cleaned and organized...

We have started to get some produce from the garden. I'm glad, as we had a terrible hail storm several weeks ago, and I thought for sure everything was lost. So far we've gotten several zucchini, some green beans, and a few tomatoes. I'm hoping that the other plants will pull through, but I'm not sure they will. At least I've gotten to enjoy my favorite summer salad: fresh tomatoes, basil and real mozzarella cheese. I'm just hoping that I'll get to enjoy it a few more times!

Okay, it's time for me to head to bed. I suppose I'll head to church tomorrow, although last Sunday I nearly had to get up in the middle and walk out. The pastor was gone, and instead I got to hear a very patriotic July 4th sermon. Uuugh! If I had known which pastor was preaching, I would have just stayed in bed. I know, that isn't the right attitude to have--but, living where I do I'm a very small voice of dissent in regards to current politics. Sometimes I'd like to live in a place where more people share my views, instead of me constantly feeling like I'm swimming against the steam.

"Dirty 3rd" in the "Dirty South"

2008-07-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July, one and all! Hope you're having a safe and fun 4th.

A bigger holiday in my area of town is the "Dirty 3rd in the Dirty South". I live on the south side of Marion, and every July 3rd South Cedar (connects with the street I live on) is practically shut down for a city wide "block party". The street is overrun with people for bbq and huge fireworks once the sun goes down. It all started I think with a house on the corner that had 3 bachelor guys living in it, plus several houses in the area with bachelor guys. Now the bachelors have moved on and no one lives in the house, but the party continues. Since they have moved on, the party wasn't quite as big (read, it hasn't lasted for days on end as in the past, and I'm not having to pick up beer cans from my front lawn), but it was still a pretty good display of fireworks tonight.

So, for those of you who plan far in advance, get out your calendars. You are all invited to my house, next year. We'll have a party of our own, enjoy our own fireworks, good bbq, maybe some homemade icecream, and the extravagance of that other party! :)

Who: You
What: July 3rd/4th Celebration
When: "Dirty 3rd"--July 3, 2009 mid afternoon-evening
Where: My house in the "Dirty South"
Bring: To be determined...bring some fireworks for playing with, and I'm sure we'll have a BBQ of some sort... we can figure out who will be responsible for what at a later date. You will need lawnchairs, bugspray, beverages of choice, pot-luck dish to contribute... I'll let you know later what exactly you'll need.

The big fireworks show usually starts at 9:30 or so, and lasts until 10:15.

Firm RSVP not necessary now, but would be appreciated so that I can communicate further details to those who are interested.

Upgrades

2008-06-29T13:20:00.000-07:00

Well, the biggest thing in my life is that hopefully I'll be getting a new bathroom floor soon. I live a sad life, I know... Ever since I moved into this house (about 4 years ago) I've noticed a smell coming from the bathroom. I chalked it up to the former renter, who had a small boy child who probably learned his toileting skills in my bathroom. No matter how many times I tried to clean the carpet, the smell never came out. It is especially bad whenever it rains, or it is humid. It reeks! Anyway, I finally got up enough guts last week to call the owners of the house, and ask whether they would be willing to pull out the carpet, and replace it with linoleum. First of all, I'm not sure why anyone would want carpet in the bathroom (or in the kitchen, for that matter--I'm sure I'll have to wait several more years before they will replace that!), but the owner was surprised that I wouldn't want to replace it with carpet again! I don't care if they just put a remnant of linoleum in there, it doesn't need to match anything, but I do want LINOLEUM!!! Anyway, while I was in NE visiting my family, the owners came in and inspected the carpeting and bathroom situation. They called to tell me early Thursday morning that the problem was worse than expected, and was I still gone? Nope, I was at home. "Oh, we really were hoping you were still gone, so we could come over and fix the problem. You see, the toilet isn't set right, and everything that is going in the stool, is coming on the carpet, and the wood underneath...."

YUCK!

I told the landlord that I would be happy for them to come fix it as soon as possible, and that I know plenty of people here in Marion who would let me use their toilet and shower while mine was out of commission. That was last Thursday, and I have yet to see anyone coming to fix it. We'll see how long it all takes...the owners are notorius for not fixing anything in my house. The garage door didn't work when I moved in, and it just got fixed about 2 months ago. I may be falling through the rotted floor before anything happens.

In other news...I've been doing a lot of cooking in the past few days. The farm family sent me home with 2 gallons of great farm milk, so I'm slowly enjoying one gallon, and will probably make the 2nd gallon into mozzarella. Mom and Dad came for dinner on Friday night to pick up their gallon of milk, and I made grilled salmon with basil butter, grilled broccoli and cauliflower, roasted zucchini spears, and then homemade chocolate gelato for dessert. Mom and Dad also benefited from my zwiebach and jam making at the farm. After dinner, we (Dad mainly) dug a hole in my back yard, and poured concrete for my new collapsable clothesline. During clean up Mom and Dad noticed my neighbor's apricot tree. The terrible renters have moved out and the house is unoccupied, so Mom and Dad thought I needed to pick up all the rotten apricots on the ground and turn them into apricot jam. I did that yesterday morning after working at the clinic, and spent the rest of the day cutting apricots, and making jam. I made 2 recipes yesterday, and I'm working on batches 3 and 4 today.

Last night I went out to Julie and Quinn's for a fish fry--good catfish, and grilled striper. Lots of people, lots of great food and laughter. I had a wonderful time, and the weather was actually cool enough to sit outside and not sweat to death. I even had to ask Julie for a sweatshirt when the sun went down!

Farm Family

2008-06-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

Kat, sorry I haven’t answered your question. I haven’t been spending as much time on the computer lately. The gathering we had last week was for my Uncle Calvin (Patrick and Carmen’s father) who turned 65. It was also Father’s Day, but the celebration was really a surprise party for Calvin. Lots of good stories and great food shared!

I’ve spent the past few days in Nebraska visiting my Johnson grandparents, aunt Terri and uncle Tim. It’s been nice to spend time with this side of the family. I slept at Terri and Tim’s house, and spent evenings with them. During the day I spent time with Grandma and Grandpa. The weather has been really nice here, and Grandpa frequently reminds me that it isn’t “hotter than hell, like in Kansas”. It cools off in the evenings, which is unheard of in KS. They also haven’t turned on the air conditioner yet, AMAZING! Last night we had a terrific thunder and lightning storm. I went to sleep watching the streaks across the sky and listening to the loud booms. They had a bit of hail with the storm, but nothing like we had in Marion last week. My garden is in ruins, so I was happy that that didn’t happen to these up here. Grandpa keeps telling me I came at the wrong time, since I’m not going to get any fresh produce from the garden, but it was the only time that worked with my summer schedule.

Yesterday we spent the day going to all the “hot” spots in North Platte, running errands and stocking up on supplies. We stopped at the pharmacy, Ace Hardware, Dollar General, Alco…Hopp “E” (local diner), and then on the way back through Hershey we stopped at the lumber yard for another look at the plants available. All the plants were 50% off, so Grandpa bought another rose bush, and Grandma bought some little impatiens to plant in the bird bath we gave them for their anniversary. The base has broken, and the rest has cracked, so it no longer holds water. Grandpa’s roses look magnificent this year. The dalias aren’t up yet, but the roses made up for it.

Today I spent in the kitchen with Grandma. First on the list was making rhubarb jam. I had brought all the supplies with me from home, but knew that Grandma and Grandpa would have plenty of rhubarb for me to use. No one up here uses rhubarb to make jam with, so I’ve suffered quite a bit of ribbing. :) They don’t know what they are missing out on.

That took most of the morning, and Grandma fixed a good meal of barbequed ribs for lunch. After lunch we made zwieback together. There was a lot of laughter in the kitchen, as Grandma showed me how she “beats” the bread instead of kneading it. I showed her how the Grandma Buller taught me to pinch the dough, but Grandma Johnson’s zwieback ended up being much closer to the size they were supposed to be. Again we laughed! I told her that I made them “Dad” sized, because when my Dad helps make them, that is the size they end up. The recipe said that we should have 3 dozen, and we did! We would have had more if I had made them smaller though! It was good to laugh and giggle together!

Zweiback (Grandma Hilda Buller’s recipe)

2 ½ cup milk, scalded

6 TB sugar

2 TB yeast

¾ cup melted shortening

1 egg

2 tsp. salt

8 cups flour

Mix thoroughly. Let rise until double. Punch down. Pinch off pieces of dough a bit larger than a walnut. Place on greased pan. Make a depression in each piece with thumb. Pinch off smaller pieces of dough and press firmly into depressions. Brush with melted butter. Let rise until doubled. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 min. turning pan once during baking for even browning. When golden brown, remove from oven. Brush again with melted butter.

Tomorrow I head for home after lunch. I’ll be taking 3 gallons of fresh farm milk with me. I’ll give one gallon to Mom and Dad, but I’m intending the others for OstKaka, and some fresh mozzarella. Terri and Tim have an extra cow giving milk right now, and until the guy they are selling her to comes, they’ve got plenty of extra milk. I’ve been drinking my fill while I was here, and they’ve been bartering with the rest! So far they’ve gotten fresh farm eggs, strawberries, and hamburger in exchange for the milk. It’s been interesting to see everyone driving in the lane and picking up milk, some getting as much as 4 gallons at a time! The milk is good though, with plenty of THICK, THICK cream on top. I may have to just make icecream with some of it!

Odds and Ends

2008-06-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

So my technology course ended yesterday, with a final day of "show and tell". Of course, mine was the best! Ha, just kidding. I do think that people were impressed with what I had put together for my project, and then I also showed some samples of things I've done in the past. It was a lot of review for me, but I am thankful that I had some extra time to work with Microsoft Office 2007 before starting school and having it thrown on me, along with everything else. Overall, I like 2007, but it does take a little while to find where things are at, and figure out what tools might have been renamed, etc...

Monday and Tuesday bring another workshop: "What's Going On In Their Heads". It will be in Hillsboro, and all day, instead of just mornings. There are a few other Marion people who are going, so I should probably call them sometime today and arrange for carpooling. I'm picking up some extra college credits this summer, so that I can move over on the pay scale...always a good choice.

Tomorrow is a *hush, hush* family gathering--I doubt I'll spoil the surprise here, but I won't say who or what it is for. Anyway, I was supposed to bring a side dish to go along with a Mexican entree. The anaheim peppers at the grocery store were on sale, and actually looked good (our grocery is notorious for putting out rotting vegetables and fruits, as well as out of date canned goods and dairy products). I figured I'd come of up with something to make out of the peppers and bring it along for my contribution. This is what I came up with.

Erica's Take on Chile Rellenos

14 mid to large Annehiem peppers (These can be both mild or hot, so you never know how spicy they will turn out to be!)

1 8 oz. block Neuchatel (low-fat cream cheese)

1 8 oz. block Monterey Jack cheese (freeze so that it is easier to shred)

1 lb. Chevre goat cheese

1 TBSP basil

1 TBSP parsley

2 tsp. onion powder

cayenne pepper, or chili powder to taste

Broil or grill the peppers until they are blackened and blistered. Allow to cool before you try to do anything with them. Make sure your Monterey Jack cheese is frozen (I put mine in the freezer overnight), and then shred. Set aside.

In a bowl, mix the Neuchatel and goat cheese together, adding the spices. Chill again. Goat cheese warms up quickly, and it will be easier to work with if it is cold.

Go back to the peppers. Cut a slit in one side of each, taking out the seeds and inner membranes. Wash each under running water to get any seeds that may have been left behind. Allow to dry on a towel.

Get the goat cheese mixture out of the fridge and portion out 14 equal servings. Once the peppers are dried, you can start filling them. To do this, you take 1 serving of the goat cheese, drop it in the monterey jack to coat it, and then roll the cheese into a snake shape that will fit the chile pepper. The monterey jack on the outside allows you to work with the goat cheese more easily. Place the "snake" into the pepper and fold up the sides around the cheese to look like the chile shape. Place the chile into a lasagna pan coated with Pam. Repeat the process with the rest of the chiles. When placing the chiles into the pan, make sure they are close together! That way they won't ooze all over the place when you bake them.

Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the chiles.

Bake at 350 degrees until done, and cheese on top is melted. Sprinkle with fresh cilantro, and serve with salsa.

Summer is here

2008-06-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been awhile since I've last posted, and this afternoon I finally had a chance to sit down and update this site. School has been out for about 1 1/2 weeks, and in that time I've: gone to the Indy 500 with Mom, Dad, and brother-in-law's brother, Jon; had a massage class; worked at the clinic on several afternoons/evenings as well as full days; weeded the larger of our two gardens; lots of mowing and weed-eating; washed my car; deep cleaned several rooms in my house; and many other things.

Since this last Monday, and continuing through next Friday I'm taking a computer course through USD 408. It's a two week course, meeting every morning from 8-12 and learn about integrating technology in our classrooms. We don't get paid for being there, but are rewarded with a laptop and projector for our classroom (that will be left with the school if we ever leave the district). I'm enjoying the class, but I do have to admit that it is a lot of review. We do have Office 2007 schoolwide for the coming school year, which has some changes and updates to get used to, so I'm using my time to better understand how to navigate all the new twists and turns. So far I really like it. Each of us are taking one of the units we teach during the school year and we're learning about different aspects in technology that can enhance the learner's experience. Since we are all on different levels of how comfortable we are using technology, the class can be interesting at times. So far we've talked about and used all of Microsoft Office 2007, we've discussed "fair use" policies, how to properly cite things... Today's subject was blogging and wikis. I created a blog today that will be used during the school year with my students. If you're interested in checking it out (once we get started) I'll provide the link for all of you. The kids names will remain confidential (maybe with a codename of their choice), but at least you'll be able to see some of the things we do/talk about in class.

This afternoon I'm concentrating on cleaning up the house a bit, and getting food ready for supper guests. We're having some weird weather today, and who knows whether supper will actually happen. This week has had very warm weather, high humidity, and a cold front is blowing in as I type. We're supposed to have severe storms all afternoon and evening, and we've been told to make preparations for spending lots of time in storm shelters today. We'll see if it all happens!

Since I've haven't posted any pics or recipes lately, I think I'll devote the rest of the blog to that. Here are the recipes (as closely as I can remember) for the food we'll have tonight. I'm back on my South Beach Diet, so they are all low-carb and very healthy. Sorry!

Italian Grilled Chicken Breasts

1 boneless, skinless chicken breast per person

1 wedge Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss Original cheese per person

1 slice bacon, cooked crisp, per person

garlic

oregano

marjoram

thyme

basil

rosemary

sage

italian dressing

Using a sharp knife, cut a pocket in the side of each chicken breast. Spread the cheese into each pocket, sprinkling spices on top of cheese and topping with the crisp bacon. Secure pockets if needed with toothpicks. Brush chicken with italian dressing and grill over medium coals until chicken is done. Keep brushing with the italian dressing as they cook.

Ricotta Cheesecake with Lemon Drizzle and Pine Nuts

adapted from "The South Beach Diet Parties and Holidays Cookbook"

3 TBSP pine nuts

6 large eggs, separated

3/4 tsp. cream of tartar

1/3 cup plus 1 tsp. Splenda

2 tsp. vanilla

1 32 oz. container part-skim ricotta cheese

1 tsp. grated lemon zest

2 TBSP lemon juice

Toast pine nuts, either on the stove in a skillet over low heat, or in the oven at 275 degrees for about 10 minutes. Keep a close eye on them as they burn easily! While they are toasting, lightly coat a 9-inch springform pan with cooking spray.

Increase the oven temp to 325 degrees.

In a large metal bowl, beat egg whites until frothy. Add cream of tartar and continue to beat until stiff peaks form. Set aside.

In a separate large bowl, beat egg yolks, 1/3 cup Splenda and vanilla for 1 minute. Add the ricotta and lemon zest (I used more zest than called for), and beat on high until smooth.

Gently fold 1/3 of the whites into the yolk mixture, then add the rest of the whites and gently fold until well combined. Pour batter into pan, place pan on a baking sheet, and bake until cake is golden and mostly set, about 1 hour 10 minutes. Remove cake from the oven and cool on a rack for 20 minutes.

Combine lemon juice and remaining 1 tsp. Splenda in a saucepan; bring to a simmer over low heat. Remove from heat and gently brush the surface of the cooled cake with 2/3 of the warm lemon mixture; drizzle the remaining mixture into the cracks. Sprinkle the top with pine nuts.

Cool cake completely, then run a knife around the edge before releasing from pan. Chill, loosely covered for 4 hours or overnight. Serve chilled.

Makes 12 servings

Other things on the menu for tonight: wilted spinach salad, and roasted zucchini sticks with Parmesan.

I'm sure there will be plenty of leftovers, anyone else want to stop by?

Hallelujah, the Great Storm is Over

2008-05-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

"The thunder and lightning gave voice to the night....the little lost child cried aloud in her fright....hush little baby, a story I will tell...of a love that has vanquished the powers of hell..."

We've had some great storms recently. Each time the dusk comes with the silver lightning and booming thunder claps, this song runs through my mind. The imagery of the 'voice to the night', is beautiful and a bit breathtaking. Storms in Kansas are magnificent things. I find so much of God's beauty in them. In fact one of my favorite activities is sitting on my parent's back porch with the chiminea going, feeling the change in temperature, smelling the approaching rain, and watching the clouds roll in.

As a survivor of the Hesston tornado, I grew up with a respect for what those beautiful clouds can bring. I have to admit though, that along with the respect for the devastation a storm can wield, I get quite the rush from each storm. My pulse starts racing, I'm on edge...not from fear (at least not usually), instead I simply love the sights and sounds that this weather brings.

Tonight I've had the treat of listening to one of these storms. Although I'm not able to be on my parent's back porch tonight, I have had the windows open in my little house, the fresh air wafting in while I enjoy the flashes and booms. I didn't get as much work done tonight as I had hoped, instead, I took some time for myself to listen and "be".

There are other "storms" going on right now, whether in Marion or further away. Some storms I have a voice in, while others are beyond my control. No matter what type of storm though, I am able to listen...listen to myself, listen to others, and above all trust that there is a being higher than me, and that His plan is much better than my own.

Blessings to all of you!

Saying "yes" to what you love

2008-04-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Charles Lindbergh was the first to fly the Atlantic solo and nonstop. He dreamed of extending the boundaries of flight. When he landed his plane, the Spirit of St. Louis, outside Paris on May 21, 1927, he became a hero. He did not fly for the reward of being well known, and the adulation of many, but because he simply loved to fly.

"It is the greatest shot of adrenaline to be doing what you've wanted to do so badly. You almost feel like you could fly without the plane."--Charles Lindbergh

When you do something you love, it can feel like flying. It's been shown that people that immerse themselves in something they love are more relaxed, more creative, and better able to cope with the demands that life brings.

Today I drove to Wichita for a Mennonite Women's Retreat. I wasn't there as a participant, but rather I was one of the workers. I gave chair massages to 14 different people (our group gave 55 massages total!) in the space of 2 1/2 hours. While there were many people I didn't know, I did know several, and it was a good opportunity for me to catch up with them. One of them asked me what my favorite thing about massage is. It was an easy answer for me, and one that did not require much thought.

While I have always wanted to study massage, it quickly became evident to me once I had begun, that I had made the right decision. One of my first massage events that I worked showed me that this was what I was meant to do (in addition to my teaching! :) I love that part of my life too, at least most of the time!). I had had a particularly stressful week at school, and had taken a personal day to go to another school district and give massages as a Teacher Appreciation day from the local parent organization (wouldn't it be great if ALL schools did that!)... As I drove to the town, my mind was consumed with the chaos that defines MES, and the politics that go on in any school district. Even though this was technically a personal day, I was anticipating a day of work, and knew it would probably feel like a big truck had run over me by the end of it all. I would return to work the next day, feeling more run down than when I had left.

Or so I thought. The day turned out to be one of the best days I have ever experienced!

My answer to the question, "What is the thing you like best about massage?" is this... I am at complete peace when I do massage. My mind quiets itself (it will still be sorting things out, but not dwelling on things), my body flows into a routine, I go to a different place... My SOUL is at peace.

Massage can be, and often is hard work. My life is busy, and at times feels like I'm over committed (okay, I KNOW I'm over committed!). I am very tired after a day of massage, and especially the days I work at school, and then work in the evening. But even though I know that I will be physically tired at the end of the day, I'm doing something I love, and in a way renewing a part of myself. My body will be tired, but I'm also allowing myself to fly....

I'm making time right now to do something I've always wanted to. I encourage you to make time in your busy schedule to do the things you love, or try something new that you THINK you'll love.

Long Awaited Spring Break Pictures

2008-04-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

Making a joyful noise

2008-04-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

This morning I went to church. I know, exciting, huh? What a great opening sentence.

When I'm in Marion for the weekend, I attend a small Presbyterian church. I dearly love this church, as it was the church we attended when Heidi and I were small and living in Marion. When I moved back, they welcomed me with open arms, and many memories! The people in this church know and love me(for the child I was, and the grownup I've become), and NOTICE when I'm not there...and I hadn't attended church (in MARION) for over 6 weeks. I had valid excuses ready (3 weeks of influenza type stuff where I lost my voice, and was too tired to really get out of bed, and then 3 weeks of my sister and brother-in-law being in KS and wanting to see/hear them speak on Sundays), but despite my excuses, when I am absent, I am always given a hard time.

Now, showing up on Sundays to sit in a pew is only the start of what the congregation feels is my obligation to the church. As I said, this is a small congregation, and we all have to pitch in in order for it to function. One of my roles is to sing in the small church choir.

I love music, whether singing, playing or just sitting and enjoying. After the first Sunday of my attendance, the people sitting around me told me that I needed to become a member of the choir. This was not a request, instead, it was a requirement. I do enjoy singing in the choir, and like the fact that musically I still belong to something. After graduating from college, I found that there really aren't many musical opportunities for anyone my age. In the past I've driven back and forth from Wichita to be part of the Wichita Symphony Chorale (I'm not able to this year because of my class schedule, but I'm hoping that next year I can start again...), but other than that, there really isn't much. Wichita Symphony music is usually challenging, and while I don't like the practice director, I do love joining with the symphony and the maestro. Our Presby church choir, on the other hand, is NOT challenging. The songs we sing are songs that our 5th grade choir would have been able to handle--of course those Hesston kids are always advanced in the music department! :)

I've digressed though...I was going to tell you about this morning. This morning I decided that I needed the extra hour of sleep and decided not to go to choir practice. We meet an hour before the church service, and depending on the number that show up, the director pulls something out of the closet, and that is what we sing. Needless to say, I've sung the same songs over and over in the 4 years I've gone to the church, and I'm quite bored.

Instead of singing this morning though, I was a part of the congregation. Again, I'll tell you that we are a small congregation, and every member of the church choir made eye contact with me--trying to remind me that I should be up there instead of sitting in the pews. In any other choir, I like to sing the low alto part. In this choir though, I'm required to flip flop from alto to high soprano, depending on who shows up and what part they are. This morning there were 8 male voices, and 3 women (2 altos and a soprano). I know I would have been required to sing the soprano part this morning.

Instead, I sat in my pew and listened as they started a song we've sung several times before. It started fairly well, but as it went on, the song got higher and higher, and further and further out of the reach of the one and only soprano. This lady is a recent addition to our church family, and she was certainly making a joyful noise this morning. She was joyful, and it was sure noisy. As I sat and listened to her screeching, all I could think about was my own highschool director. He and his family attend church at Whitestone. Growing up, whenever I was singing in the front of the church with a group I would look back to where he was sitting. Anytime any of us were singing, he would sit there with his head down, eyes closed and a little smirk on his face. I was never sure whether it was because he was trying to shut off his other senses and concentrate on the voices he was currently training, or whether he was laughing at us singing, and didn't want us to see him. This morning, I may have figured it out.

I too found myself with my head turned to the floor, my eyes closed, and trying to keep a straight face. It was not a smirk on my face that I was trying to cover, it was a look of agony. My eyes were squeezed shut, my mouth contorted...it was all I could do not to cover my ears with my hands. This woman thinks she has been given a gift, and is determined to make sure we all are able to enjoy. The problem though, is that she can't stay on pitch, and really can't hit the high notes a soprano needs. I doubt she could hit them in her prime, in which she is definitely not now!

Exiting the pew, I was stopped by numerous people, asking why I wasn't in the choir this morning. On the way out the door, the pastor stopped me as I was shaking his hand. He asked the usual questions (where have you been, what have you been up to), but then looked me in the eyes and said, "Erica, you know, we REALLY need you in the choir."

It was all I could do not to burst out laughing...instead I just said "I know", and walked out the door.

Thank you, Steve, for your part in my laughter today. Thank you also for the years of teaching, and your part in my musical training. As I teacher myself, I'm aware of the many thank yous that go unsaid, and I didn't want either of you (Marcia--I love you too!!!) to not know how highly I think of you both and value your influence on my life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are special people!

Been a long, been a long, been a long time! :)

2008-04-02T18:47:00.000-07:00

So, the last time I wrote, Heidi and Tim and Baby G hadn't arrived yet, and now they've gone again. Heidi and Gus back to Germany, and Tim to California. During the time between postings, I've gone to NE to see the Johnson side of our family, had spring break, had quite a few things happen at school, spent time relaxing with Heidi, Tim and Gus...

I had a wonderful time spending time with all of my family. It was with great sadness that I headed back to work, and "normal life". I'm planning on posting some pics of all of us, but that will have to wait until the next posting, as my camera is at school right now.

Life, as always, has been busy. It's been a flurry of meetings and staffings at school, and by the time I get home I'm ready to hit my bed. Add to that the fact that my migraines have been especially bad lately, and I'm ready to have another spring break!

This evening, I've spent time cleaning up my house. The stack of dishes needed to get done. The pile of laundry on my couch needed to be folded and put away. The table needed to be cleared....I should still vacuum the house, but the floor actually looks ok. The next two evenings I'm having people over, so I want it to look decent. Tomorrow I have a meeting for our assistive technology team at my house right after school, and then Friday I'm hosting our Girls night gathering at my house.

Tonight, I've also been preparing snacks for the upcoming evenings. I've made a sweet, spicy nut mix (Thanks Maretta!), yummy brownies (recipe to follow), and I'm marinating some chicken for satay. The house smells wonderful! I hope everything tastes as good as it smells!

Here are the recipes of things I've made tonight, in case any of you are interested.

Cranberry Trail Mix (I tripled this recipe)
1 cup mixed nuts (I used assorted mix nuts, and then added additional peanuts)
2 cups small pretzels
1 cup dried cranberries (I used a mixture of dried cranberries, blueberries, and cherries)
1 egg white
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper

Spread nuts evenly on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake 7-8 minutes at 350 degrees until nuts are slightly darker (watch carefully, they easily burn!). Cool completely. Reduce oven temp to 225 degrees. In a large bowl combine nuts, pretzels and berries. In a small bowl, beat egg, sugar and spices until foamy. Pour over pretzel mix; toss until coated. Spread evenly on baking sheet. Bake one hour, stirring every 15 minutes. Cool completely on pan, then store in an airtight container.

Erica's Triple Chocolate Brownies
(Once upon a time, I worked in a little eatery in Newton where I made brownies nearly daily. I gained several pounds that summer from eating those wonderful brownies, and was disappointed when I discovered I never wrote down the recipe. I guess I thought that I had made them so often that I would never forget! Anyway, since I'm having a gathering with plenty of people who love chocolate, I thought I'd attempt to recreate the brownies. Here's what I did tonight, and if I alter anything in the future, I'll modify the post to reflect that)

3/4 cups melted butter
1-1/2 cups sugar
1-1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 eggs
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 to 1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup milk chocolate chips

Melt the butter in a saucepan. Add in the chocolate chips, and cocoa. Stir until smooth. Add in the sugar and stir. Remove from heat and allow to cool a bit. Add vanilla and eggs (make sure to stir so that the egg doesn't cook!) and then the flour and baking powder. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, or whenever you think they're done (for those of you who like gooey ones!)

**I'm making the Chicken Satay recipe up as I go, combining several I've got, and until I test it I'm reluctant to post it. After I finish them tomorrow, I'll post the recipe in case you want to try them. They smell good at least! :)

Time for Thanks

2008-03-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share that although my life at work continues to be stressful, this afternoon was great. I had a dr. appointment with Dr. Cranston, for a checkup on my thyroid. I still have a multinodular goiter, but after a sonogram I'm relieved to know that it has not gotten any bigger than the last time. I also feel like the synthetic thyroid dosage that I am taking right now is at least a starting to make a difference. I have more energy, my hair is starting to grow back in, and my skin isn't nearly as dry as it was before.

As I was driving to class tonight, I really thought about how much I have to be thankful for. Healthwise, I feel like we are heading in the right direction. I've got a group of family and friends who love me (despite my many flaws!) and care about what I've got going on in my life. I (for the most part) like my two jobs. Add to all this goodness that Heidi, Tim and Gustav arrive this weekend, and I'm practically on cloud nine! Oh, and the Kineseology test I thought I flunked last week Thursday I found out tonight that I got a B on it! Yippee!!!

I am so thankful for each and everyone of you! Much love to you all!

Any other requests?

2008-02-20T10:16:00.000-08:00

Heidi has determined that I need to update my blog...so here goes. When Heidi made her demands, er...request yesterday, I told her that I would try to do it last night, but it did not occur. Let me tell you, I heard about it this morning! :)

The problem lies in the fact that I really don't have a very exciting life. Some of my good friends have just announced engagements and baby news, but I have none of those things to report. My life is busy, yes, but not exciting!

So, here's an update. Right now I'm taking "Mechanics of Movement" in Andover each Thursday evening. This is my last class that I need to take from Butler for my massage program. Mechanics of Movement is really just a fancy way of saying kinesiology for massage...needless to say, it has the possibilities of being a difficult class. Since I've had less than stellar experiences with my Anatomy/Physiology class experiences, and Mechanics of Movement relies on a lot of knowledge I SHOULD have learned in AP/Path, this will be an interesting semester. So far, I feel like I'm learning quite a bit, and that I may have actually learned more in AP/Path than I originally thought. We'll see how it all ends up.

I am still taking massage courses on Monday evenings in Marion from my tutor, Carolan. Right now we are concentrating on soft tissue release therapy. I've also recently added Hot Stone Massage to my repretoir, so you'll all need to come and enjoy one of those! Our specials this month at the clinic are a 90 min. Hot Stone Massage, or a 30 min. peppermint foot massage (20 minutes massage on the feet, then warm stones between your toes, and hot towels wrapped around your feet for 10 min).

I'm also working one evening each week at the clinic, as well as during the day on Saturdays. Between classes and working, the chores at home aren't getting done, but I suppose that isn't the highest priority since I'm the only one there.

Healthwise, I've been fighting a cold/influenza type of thing for the past 2 weeks. I've been on a round of antibiotics already, but my ears are still clogged. I'm a lucky one though, as our school is being hit hard by Influenza A and B, strep, staph, and mono. I'm taking lots of elderberry, additional vitamins and drinking lots of water/tea in order to get well, and to not catch any of the other crud floating around.

Our family has experienced a real miracle in the past few days. My Grandma Buller was taken by ambulance to Newton Medical Center last week, and then taken on to Wesley in Wichita. She spent several days in the hospital, and we were told that she had suffered from a heart attack. Her organs started shutting down, and we were told that she would die in a matter of days. On Sunday I went to Wichita and said my final goodbyes, which amounted to letting her know how much I loved her. On Monday, Grandma miraculously recovered and we were told that she would be able to go back to the home in Goessel. She went back to Bethesda last night.

I've experienced both ends of the emotional spectrum in a very short time! It was with great joy that I came back to school yesterday. I had already made some of the preparations here at school on Monday, laying the groundwork in case I would need to be gone (The children I work with do NOT do well with change--in this case an unexpected substitute. I had told them about Grandma and that I would most likely need to be gone, and wouldn't have the chance to warn them before I left.). The kids were so sweet yesterday when I told them that Grandma was doing better. One of the worst behaved children even went and told the PE teacher that Miss Buller had had a miracle and that things were going to be much better! :) Just an example of the fact that underneath all of those bad behaviors, this child really DOES care.

Please keep me in your prayers--the rest of the year will be defined by the end of the year chaos. April and May are notorius for the amount of meetings that are required, but my meeting (IEP load) is already starting now. I've got a mountain of paperwork piling up on my desk, and as of Friday of last week, I no longer have plan time. My plan time has been taken away (even though this is part of my contract), in order to work with a student full time in the resource room as his behaviors make it so that he no longer may be in the classroom. I'm trying very hard to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing, but at the same time, I rely on my plan time in order to get everything done. We also start State Testing and District testing in about two weeks, which means that no schedule stays the same, and I'm constantly juggling kids and paras, trying to figure out which direction they should go, and whose needs are most important. As sad as it sounds, I'm already counting down the days until summer vacation! :) I'm sure I'm not the only one though!

Love to all of you!

Erica's Zesty Chicken Soup

2008-02-04T15:18:00.000-08:00

This was my contribution to our family Super Bowl Party. I don't normally cook with Velveta, but it makes this soup really creamy.

3-4 Chicken breasts, shredded--Save the broth/water from cooking and add to soup later

Saute 1 small bag baby carrots, 1 large onion, and 6 stalks celery (all chopped fine) in 1/2 stick butter.

In a large pot combine sauteed vegetables and shredded chicken. Add 2 cans cream of chicken soup, 1 can cream of mushroom soup, broth from cooking chicken, 1 can Rotel, and 2 soup cans of milk. Add 1 lb chopped pieces of Velveta. Heat throughly, although don't allow it to boil.

Enjoy!

The Race of Life is going strong!

2008-01-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

After my wonderful Christmas "break", this week was the official start of what my "normal" life is... I'm as busy as I ever was. :)

Teaching at MES is always exciting, but the kids have come back with more vim and vigor now after Christmas (this means more discipline problems than before.) We're hoping that it dies down, but the last 1/2 of the school year always holds more chaos that we seem to be prepared for. Yesterday, my friend Julie had to call the police after school because one of our 6th graders was beating up another child right off of school property. The individual has been quite the trouble maker all year, and we all wonder just how far he'll take it. Here's hoping that our fears are all unfounded, and that the year will be a smooth sail until the end!

This week I've worked at the massage clinic (I'm now working Tuesday evenings, and during the day on Saturdays); had 2 massage classes (one with Carolan in Marion, and then I'm taking Kinesiology in Andover), and numerous meetings before and after school. By the time I get home in the evenings, all I want to do is drop into bed--even if it is only 8:30! I realize that some of you might find this humerous, but I'm too tired to care! :)

Today I did a massage at the clinic, and then went downtown to donate my time to the City of Marion. Marion is trying to put some new playground equipment in the park downtown (which is good, since the equipment they have now has been around since I was a little girl--I vividly remember playing on it!) and have been having several fundraisers to try to make it happen. Today they had an auction in the City Building, and Carolan, Carol and I went down to do 5 min. massages in exchange for a donation to the playground fund. There wasn't a good turnout for the auction, and we were quite disappointed. I'm hoping that those that did show up will be generous in their giving!

This afternoon I'm hoping for a nap. I started some bread, so I'll need to bake that at some point. I'll include the recipe. My aunt Pauline's mother, "Grandma" Schmidt, makes this recipe, and I always love being invited to her family dinners so that I can enjoy this bread!

Dill Bread

Dissolve 1 pkg. yeast in 1/4 cup warm water.

Combine in mixing bowl:
1 c. cottage cheese
2 t. dill seed
2 t. salt
1/4 t. soda
1 unbeaten egg
1 T. melted butter or margarine
1/2 T. minced onion
2 T. sugar

Add: yeast mixture and 2 1/4- 2 1/2 c. flour

Stir well to combine. Let rise in greased bowl to double in size. Punch down. Put into two 7x3" or one 9x5" well-greased bread pan(s). let rise again, about 45-50 minutes. Bake at 350 degrees about 30 minutes. Remove from pans and brush with melted margarine.

**Since I'm not home very much, I usually start this in my bread machine, on the dough cycle. When I get home I bake it in the oven! So easy!

Back in the Swing of Things

2008-01-13T19:15:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I've had a chance to sit down and write anything. In the time I've been away, I've had a chance to spend time with my sister, brother-in-law, and my dear nephew, Gustav; I've helped cut pigs; I've hosted a "girl's night" for my coworkers, and numerous other things that just aren't important enough to share! :)

I was blessed to be able to spend time in Germany with Heidi, Tim and Gustav (and yes, you may call him Gus!). We spent most of the time together in their apartment, just being able to share in each other's company. Small trips to the grocery store, and neighborhood restaurants were welcome field trips, with a chance for Gus to try out his new, fancy stroller. It was so hard to leave them and return to KS...at least I know that I'll be able to see them soon! I love them all so much! I'll share some pics, since I know that you are all waiting with baited breath.

Please continue to keep Tim, Heidi and Gustav in your prayers. Heidi is back in the hospital, and seems to baffle all the drs. she comes into contact with, with a condition that none of them have ever seen before. Tomorrow they are supposed to decide whether they will need to do additional surgery for this condition.

I also go back to the dr. tomorrow for a checkup on my thyroid and to see whether there have been any changes. We'll see what he has to say!

More info about this last week

2007-12-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

I've gotten a couple notes from people asking about my PS on the previous posting. Here's a bit more info to tell you about what has been going on this past week.

Please know that I did not tell many people, because I knew that Heidi and Tim needed to concentrate on the birth of their first child, and that this would only worry them. I did not want to risk them finding out about it, as I felt that depending on the results, this was something I wanted to talk to them in person about.

In short, I haven't been feeling well lately. Things that I felt stupid even complaining about (hair falling out, feeling run down, super dry skin even when I drink tons of water and am always covered in lotions and creams, gaining 10 lbs in less than 2 months while keeping to my diet and exercise regime, etc...), because in the big scheme of things, I don't feel terrible--just not myself. I am already on a low dosage of thyroid because my thyroid levels were borderline the last time I was at the dr. for my physical. Anyway, all of my symptoms are things that led me to believe that something wasn't right with my thyroid levels.

I scheduled an appointment in Hesston last Thursday and listed off my symptoms. I told the dr. at the time that I thought something was going on with my thyroid and she agreed. She felt my throat and discovered a nodule. At that point she told me that I could have a nodule because my thyroid was having to work so hard to get my thyroid in the "normal" range, or that it could mean that I have cancer. She got right to the point, which I am grateful for. I'm sure she is aware that I'm the type of person who would have gone home and done more research and ended up more scared, and on my own. This way I had a way of asking questions, etc... She called in another dr. who also felt my throat and agreed with her findings. They drew some blood for additional testing (these came back the next day that my thyroid level was within normal limits--this scared me further because in my research I found that that can be an indication of a malignant tumor). The 3 of us talked a bit, with them reassuring me that it was most likely benign, but that I definitely needed to get it checked out. I was worried that since I'm leaving tomorrow for Germany, that I wouldn't be able to get any further answers and would have to stew about it over Christmas break. As a favor, I think, they got me in with Dr. Cranston in Newton for a biopsy this last Monday.

Dr. Cranston was wonderful! He did a sonogram on my throat and was very good at answering all my questions. During the course of the examination he found that I had a larger mass than originally thought. He called it a multinodular goiter. He aspirated some fluid (using a 3 inch needle straight in my throat without any numbing agent! ouch!!! still hurting from that!) and sent it in for tests. I was told that he would try to get back to me either Tues. or Wed. depending on when the tests came back.

He called yesterday around 5:00 p.m. and told me that there were no cancer cells in the biopsy sample he took. He will be increasing my thyroid dosage to try to help regulate the goiter, and hopefully shrink it. I have another appointment in 3 weeks to monitor it, and test my thyroid levels again. I'm hoping that the synthetic thyroid will help, as I do not want to have surgery for removal and risk damaging my vocal chords. I know that is vain, but music is an important part of my life and identity.

I have been given a wondeful Christmas present this year--my health! (Actually, I've been given several wonderful Christmas gifts at this point!) Merry Christmas to all of you, and I hope that you will be blessed as I have been!

Love,
Erica

Drumroll please!

2007-12-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

Tante (aunt) Erica is happy to announce the birth of Gustav Heinrich Huber. He was born yesterday morning at 10:26 or so, and weighs in at about 9 lbs and 21 inches.

I board a plane on Thursday afternoon and head to Germany to visit the newest family member, and then maybe also visit his parents. I'm looking forward to cuddling and loving on him. He's supposed to have lots of dark hair, deep blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and dimples. Gotta love it!

Merry Christmas to all of you! Enjoy your time with your family, as I know that I will!

PS--Thanks to those of you who knew about my recent health scare, and have kept me in your prayers. I got the good news this evening that yesterday's biopsy had no cancer cells. A medication change and more frequent checkins with the dr. will hopefully get things back under control. I have been blessed several times over!

The goose is getting fat!

2007-12-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

and me along with it!

I'm stuffed to the max with wonderful food after tonight's round of story telling with the Buller family. We had a great time gathering together to hear stories, courtesy of Pauline and Calvin; and of course we always enjoy getting together to just eat and be merry. The Christmas season has started, and with it come the many obligations that also somehow include food. Tonight is not the first gathering, nor will it be the last! Thinking about Christmas food and gatherings gets me to thinking about the other things that go along with Christmas as well.

This past week I've been playing Christmas music in my classroom, and one of the CDs that has been played the most has been John Denver and the Muppets. This was (and most likely still is) one of my favorite Christmas albums, especially the song that Miss Piggy sings "Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat! Won't you put a penny in the old man's hat. If you haven't got a penny, a half-penny will do...." I remember sitting in our home in Marion on Cedar street singing along to this song when I was little, and I remember having such a vivid image of Miss Piggy singing it to me. Now I'm sitting in a home, not far from Cedar street, listening to the same song. Sometimes life doesn't take you very far from where you began!

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year, but it is also a time that I find very sad. I know that many people consider me a "Scrooge" because of my views on Santa Clause, and I also know that I've used this blog in the past to air those views, so I won't put you all through that again! Instead, I'll just say that I urge you all to remember the real reason we celebrate this season.

This season should be about celebration, celebrating the birth of a small baby that was born to save us. Luke writes a story that could be (and has at this point) made into a movie. Luke doesn't write of Jesus' family tree---line after line of names (an especially long version of the Mennonite game!), instead the chapters read more like a script for a musical complete with lots of catchy songs and dance. I know I'm probably interpreting things differently because of the many church Christmas plays I've been in, not to mention the 6+ singings of the Messiah and the many rounds of Christmas carols I've sung. Music is a vital part of my personal Christmas celebration, but if you look to the story in Luke, I think that it also fits with Luke's version as well. If you look at the story, you will read of angel visits, a barren woman who is with child, a mute who can suddenly speak, a virgin birth, and shepherds visiting after being serenaded by angel song. All of these could be captivating reads entirely on their own, but when put together it should be a showstopper! With Luke's words, we should feel the spirit of "great joy" the angel predicted and certainly a spirit of CELEBRATION!

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." Luke 2:10

BLINGO

2007-11-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

I've added a new button on the side of my blog, and thought I should maybe take a bit of time to explain what it is all about.

Blingo is a search engine fueled by Google. For those of you who use google or yahoo as search engines for your web searches, this is basically the same thing. With Blingo though, you are entered to win prizes for the searches you do during the day. I believe that the first 25 times you search during a day, you are eligible to win prizes (this is also affiliated with Publisher's Clearing House). There are random points throughout the day, that if you happen to search during that time you might be a winner. Prizes range from cash, to movie tickets, Amazon gift certificates, laptops, cars, etc...

By using the button on my blog, you will be directed to the Blingo site, where you will have an opportunity to use the program too. You will be a user under me--which means that if you happen to win a prize with your searches, I would win the same prize. If you in turn refer people to the site and they sign up under you, if they win prizes with their search, you would win the same prize as they did.

This is NOT a scam! I signed up under my friend Kym. Within a couple months of signing up, I won a movie ticket. Kym also won a movie ticket because of my win, and it was a great excuse to spend an afternoon and evening together!

To increase my chances of winning, I've downloaded the Blingo toolbar on both my home computer and the computer at school. That way it doesn't matter where I am, if I need to search for information it is right there and ready, instead of having to first navigate to the Blingo/Google website.

Looking for little miracles

2007-10-29T20:07:00.000-07:00

I was able to spend the last few days with one of my friends from high school, Laura VZ. I had a WONDERFUL time, and I'm so glad that I went down to Dallas. We had had PT conferences during the evenings last week, and were rewarded with a day off on Friday. I was able to leave Marion and head south after my last conference on Thursday, arriving at 11:30 or so that evening.

For Laura, our days were filled with "normal" activities--nothing special, merely commonplace! :) But for me, it was much, much more. Beautiful, warm sun-filled days; the opportunity to sleep in in the mornings; the large, furry cat that slept on my pillow and licked my face all night; shopping opportunities; art museums; a KU game; fantastic restaurants and leftovers (yummy fajitas!); and above all, time spent with a wonderful friend! The smiles and stories exchanged meant a lot to me. I truly had a great time this weekend--3 days filled with so many small miracles!

Thank you Laura!

"Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God." --Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Tap the Wisdom of the Body

2007-10-21T19:15:00.001-07:00

The past two weekends, I've made the long trip to Kansas City for 2 different conferences. Last weekend I went to a conference on Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, while this weekend I went to a conference on Headaches and Massage. One was definitely better than the other, but I have to say that I was able to come away from both having learned something(or things).

Of the many new things I learned, I also was reminded of how wonderfully made we are, and that our bodies are wiser than we realize. Our health and well being are two of God's many gifts to us. Our bodies are so amazing that they are able to let us know what we need, while being attuned to our surroundings.

Sometimes we lose sight of the physical signals that our bodies send us. Too often I find myself pushing myself to the extreme: not taking the time to rest when I am upset, even when I know that sleep will give the chance to "hash it out" and awake with a new perspective. If I push myself too hard, illness makes me stop to reexamine my actions!

The body is matter; but it is God's creation. When it is neglected or scoffed at, God himself is insulted. --Michel Quoist

Our bodies are "fearfully and wonderfully made"--an intuitive instrument that can instruct with wisdom, if we only take the time to PAUSE and listen.

One way of listening to our bodies is to take the time to "pamper" ourselves and receive the gift of massage. People that range from athletes to dancers, overstressed homemakers to busy executives (and many others) have discovered the benefits of therapeutic massage. Not only can you relieve stress or soothe sore muscles, you can also enhance your mental and emotional well-being.

Another of the things that I was reminded of this weekend, is that massage is actually an investment in your health. Setting aside the 1/2 hour or hour to have a massage is so much more enjoyable (at least for me!) than swallowing the latest "miracle" drug (and with far less side effects!) And I'd much rather pay for a massage than the pharmacist!

Okay, I've rambled now and been on my soap box. Please forgive me! :) I'm not necessarily trying to drum up business by this posting (although I always welcome new clients! :)), but I do feel that the society that we live in pushes us to the limits of what we are capable of, and that in the process we often forget what it is like for us to feel good and "whole". Massage is one of the ways that I've been able to get back in touch with what my body is feeling, and what it is supposed to be feeling--not the way my body feels as a reaction to what is going on in my life.

"Dear friend, I am praying that all is well with you and that your body is as healthy as I know your soul is." 3 John 2

School stressors

2007-10-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

This semester I am taking anatomy and physiology/pathology for massage through Butler. It is my second semester (the course requires 2 sem. of this) but I'm afraid it is not going any better than last semester. The instructor spends absolutely no time during class explaining anything, instead reading from notes in a monotone, and not really covering items and thoroughly explaining them. I'm sure I'll pass the class, but I'm worried that I won't be able to pass my massage exam to be nationally certified. Much of the information I'll need to know for that exam are things that I should be being taught in this class.

I happened across this last night, and thought that it shares what at times this semester I've truly felt! I'm not getting much from the lectures, so if anyone wants to help me out (Karissa, and Kat--any suggestions?) before I have a nervous breakdown, it would be much appreciated!

23rd Psalm for Students

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk
He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying
He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break
He restores my faith in study guides
He leads me to better study habits
For my grades' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades
I will not have a nervous breakdown
For thou art with me
My prayers and my friends, they comfort me
Thou givest me the answer in moments of blankness
Thou anointest my head with understanding
My test paper runneth over with questions I recognise.
Surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
All the days of my examinations
And I shall not have to dwell in this exam hall forever.

- Author Unknown

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

2007-10-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

This past week has be a trial for me. In fact, I would have to say that the past month has been trying for me. But, in particular, this past weekend was really terrible. There have been problems with kids in my classroom, angry parents (NOT my own!), and to make it even better, I was sick all of this last weekend. I think though, that things are on the mend.

In saying all that, I realize that I am not the only one who goes through difficult times. In fact, there are those that have it even worse than I do. This world we live in is a place that offers plenty of negative comments and criticism. Instead of the negatives we hear so often, we need others in our life who will offer encouragement and support. A circle of supportive friends (and relatives!) can encourage us to reach our full potential and make our lives easier and more fun. I am blessed to be surrounded by people such as these (near and far) that care about me and my little bumps in the road. Thank you! I truly appreciate you, and your many words of support lately. Your love for me is evident.

I am truly blessed.

"Encouragement is oxygen to the soul"--George M. Adams

Long Time No See

2007-09-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

I have a few minutes to post today, and just quickly apologize for my absence. This school year has been crazy so far, and I haven't been spending much time actually at my home and in the vacinity of my computer. Because of this, I haven't been able to post as much as I would like. In addition to life's general craziness, I'm afraid that most of the things happening at school that I would like to write posts about are confidential, which eliminates quite a few of the topics that I would write on.

In general news, the KS climate is a bit cooler now, which means the tomatoes will be putting on again, which also means even more things to do in the evening. I've already spent quite a few evenings canning peach juice, jelly and cucumbers, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to start dreaming about canning...visions of salsa, pasta sauce and juice will swim through my head.

Last weekend was Winfield, a time that I look forward to all year. As usual, there were new acts to hear, and new songs to share. My favorite has to be McCutcheon's song "you put your right foot out, you put you left foot out, you tap, tap, tap...." The audience was rolling! I got several new CDs, and my favorite new group was BlueHouse--an aussie duo with beautiful harmonies.

Well, I need to wrap this up, as I should head for Andover and AP/Pathology class tonight. Just to let you know, I've moved my massage stuff into the St. Luke's Integrated Clinic here in Marion, and am doing massage on Saturdays and Monday evenings by appointment. Give us a call! :)

I hope to find a few minutes soon so that I can write again. I love you all

I LOVE SALMON!

2007-08-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things to fix for myself is salmon--I've baked it, I've sauteed it, and I've grilled it. What makes it so easy, is that it now is sold in convienient packages that have several one-serving packages within. When I come home from work, it is so simple to take one out of the freezer, and have it thawed in minutes! It is also an easy thing to fix if I invite people over for dinner on the spur of the moment, as it is quick to thaw and fix (and people are always amazed when you can whip something up mere minutes after getting off work!)

This last week I invited myself over to Kym and Troy's for dinner, promising that I would bring a fair share of the food since I had invited myself over! :) I brought this salmon recipe, some shrimp to throw on the bbq, rice in the rice cooker, and multicolored zuchini and onions to grill. Troy and Kym added fresh potatoes and tomatoes from the garden, as well as Troy's sweet peas. Everything ended up on the grill to keep the heat out of the kitchen, except for the rice in the rice cooker. We had quite the feast, and all healthy!

Herb-Encrusted Grilled Salmon
(inspired by a recipe on Kalyn's Kitchen blog)

2 salmon fillets, thawed
1 1/2 T. olive oil
2 T. Fish Herb Blend (recipe below)

Mix olive oil and Fish Herb Blend together. Rub fish on both sides with herb mixture and let sit for at least 10 min. while you preheat gas or charcoal grill. Rib grill with a piece of paper towel dipped in olive oil or use nonstick spray (so that the fish won't stick), then heat the grill to medium high. Place fish on grill, and cook until grill marks start to appear, about 2-3 min. Then rotate the cook 2-3 min. to get criss cross marks. Turn fish carefull and cook 2-3 min. on the second side or until fish feels just slightly firm to the touch. Total cooking time will be under ten minutes. **This recipe is easily doubled!

Fish Herb Blend
1 T. dried basil
1 T. dried chives
1 T. dried dill weed
1 T. dried thyme
1 T. ground fennel
2 T. lemon pepper
1 T. sea salt

Enjoy! When I made the rice in the rice cooker, I also added sliced onion, garlic and various herbs. It was yummy!

Did You Know; Shift Happens - Globalization; Information Age

2007-08-14T20:03:00.001-07:00

This is the initial video that we had watched during inservice, the one posted below is an updated version with slightly different facts presented. I would recommend watching both, although there will be a bit of overlapping of facts at times.

Did You Know 2.0

2007-08-14T19:57:00.001-07:00

My school year has already begun, and with it came the inservices. Last Friday was the Special Education inservice, and on Monday and today were USD 408 inservices. While my job as a teacher can be overwhelming when I think of all the academic things that need to be taught to prepare my children for state testing, etc..., it becomes more upsetting when I think of all the technological things I also need to cram in in order to prepare my kids. I think we all paused a bit after being shown this video, and wondered whether we are up to the task. I feel that I am ahead of most, if not almost all, of my fellow teachers when it comes to technology, but when I think of how far my kids have to come, I get scared! How can I ever prepare them for ALL of what they need to know!?!

July 18: Accio Deathly Hallows (no spoilers)

2007-08-14T19:39:00.001-07:00

I am a fan of Harry Potter, and it was with much anticipation and a bit of sadness that I read the 7th and last book in the series. If you haven't read it, I will not spoil the conclusion to the story for you, but if you too are a fan, you might enjoy this link to a youtube video!

A few pics from the last weeks!--In random order because they won't load correctly!

2007-08-12T21:19:00.001-07:00

Round the world and back again

2007-08-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

So, I've had a bit of a vacation from this site, and I know that there are several people out there wondering exactly what I've been up to. Warning to all readers: This will be a long post, please accept my apologies. Sorry to bore you!

July 16, 2007
Today I left Wichita, boarding a plane headed for Denver and then to Frankfurt. Seated next to a Spaniard who insisted on talking to me the entire way, met an interesting guy (who knows where he is actually from, has lived in Santa Fe, but all over the world as well) who ended up getting the Spaniard and me in trouble with the flight attendants--kept wanting to discuss politics and world religions.

July 17
Arrived in Frankfurt with large box of groceries and luggage filled to the brim with maternity items and baby clothes and was met by Heidi and Tim. We bought train tickets for my ride to Bammental, and tried to figure out Tim's Bahn Card problem--"it's in the mail". Headed to Bammental for a quick shower for me, and to drop off the heavy luggage, and then went back to Heidelberg for Heidi's gyno appt. We learned that Heidi and Tim will definately be having a boy child--"X marks the spot!" Afterwards, we went home to Bammental for a Tim-cooked supper of my favorite sausages and potato noodles with onion. It was yummy, especially when washed down with a cold beer.

July 18
Tim had to go in to work a bit this morning, after a fantastic breakfast of brotchen. Heidi and I walked down the Hauptstrasse so that I could see a bit of the city they live in. We met Tim and his co-worker MJ at the bahnhof before heading into Heidelberg to purchase our travel tickets for the coming days. We bummed around Heidelberg, shopping and walking around--Heidi showed me all of her old haunts from her nanny days. Lunch was at Heidi and Tim's favorite German restaurant--salad, noodle soup, schnitzle and pomme frites with good beer. Mmmmm....LOVE IT! We walked around quite a bit more after lunch and then headed back to Bammental. Heidi and Tim showed me their offices and we checked e-mail. Spent a quiet evening eating Doners from the local joint and enjoying some more beer. Phone calls home to both future grandmothers were made to tell of their grandSON.

July 19
Rode to Munich today with arrival at 2:30 in the afternoon. We then rode bus 58 to Auenstrasse 23 and waited for Ruth to come home. (This was the family I worked for when I was a nanny). We talked awhile and then went with the kids to Englischer Garten to the Chinese Tower beer garden. A walk through all the naked sunbathers was an education for all of us! :) We all enjoyed a picnic supper of pommes, 1/2 roasted chickens, obatsda (fantastic Bavarian cheese spread), spiral cut radishes, spare ribs, brown pretzels, beer and apfelschorle (apple juice spritzer)--typical beer garden fare. It was good to have a chance to sit under the chestnut trees and visit with my German family. Afterwards, we rode the U-bahn home, then bus 58 and went for eis (gelato) at our local italian icecream place. We came home to Auenstrasse 23 and stayed up to chat, waiting for Uli to come home from his race at the Olympic stadium.

July 20
Today Heidi, Tim and I walked down the fussgangerzone in downtown Munich. We shopped a bit and just poked around. Lunch was sandwiches and a bottle of wine along the Isar river before setting out. My find for the day was a Blue Rider calendar, which Ruth will hopefully bring to KS for me. We wanted to go back to the Chinese tower for supper, but rain threatened. Instead we headed to my neighborhood PennyMarkt and picked up several pizzas and assorted beers to enjoy and then headed back to the apartment to enjoy a more quiet evening "in".

July 21
We got up really early this morning for Ruth's muffins and watching Matthew on TV. He and a friend were on a German TV show contest and won! After the early morning show, we went back to bed for awhile before a trip to one of my favorite places in the world--Viktualien Markt. We wandered amongst the many stands of fresh fruits and veggies, flowers, cheeses, imported oils and vinegars, jams, honey, etc... We bought supplies for our picnic: some hummus and tsatsiki and 3 large Brezeln (pretzels), before getting back on the U-Bahn and going to the English Gardens. The weather was absolutely beautiful today! We shared a massive meal under the shade of the trees. Feeling full, we walked a bit in the garden, found a piece of shade and all laid down for a nap. We awoke in time to walk back to the U-bahn and ride to Stiglmeier Platz where the English Cinema is. We watched the latest Harry Potter movie while enjoying SALTY popcorn, something that is rarely found in Germany.

July 22
Today we got up early to repack and headed by train to Salzburg, the city of the Sound of Music. Tim had never been there, so it was nice to go with someone for whom it was all new. Once we got there we figured out the bus system and were able to find the youth hostel. Our room had a beautiful view of the castle! We quickly claimed and made our beds, and then headed out to explore. We walked up the mountain to the castle, but would have had to pay to get in, so we walked back down to wander through the old city. Since we were heading on further into Austria the next day, we wanted to make sure we had all the train information and tickets correct. We had quite the experience that exemplified Heidi and Tim's "middle-aged German women" theory, and were ever so thankful for the kind Austrian ticket agent. Once we figured out which trains we were going on, and which city we were all going to end up on, it was quite a relief. Then we only had to figure out the bus schedule that would take us to St. Johannes! After that was all sorted out, we took a city bus back into the AltStadt and shared a picnic for supper while listening to the bells of the area churches. We wandered the old streets and then headed back to the youth hostel. Our room had been invaded by other people and our beds claimed. Heidi and Tim staked theirs out again, but I gave in and made another. We went to bed early, but were woken up by our roommates arriving, and then later when they were talking in their sleep!

July 23
Today we boarded a bus early in the a.m. to head to St. Johannes in Tirol where there is a Huber brewery. We were lucky to be able to get on all our busses, that we weren't too late, and that Heidi remembered that she had forgotten her purse on one bus before we boarded the next bus. On arrivel in St. Johannes we went from the Hauptbahnhof downtown to the grocery store so that Heidi and Tim were able to purchase a bottle of Austrian wine for their collection. We then went and climbed the Huber turm (tower) and ate lunch overlooking the city and beautiful Austrian mountains. My Champignon schnitzle with rice and salad was fantastic, not to mention the great Huber beer. Yum! When we were done with lunch we headed down to the store to buy Huber beer glasses and 10 liters of Huber beer in a Huber kiste (case). This is a beautiful little village that I think I need to come back to sometime. After lugging our, no--Tim's, beer back to the train station and on and off several different trains, we finally made it home to Heidleberg and Bammental. We were happy to collapse at home and sleep!

July 24
Today we spent a quiet day in Bammental. We went for apple juice at the local garden store (Heidi and Tim get a discount because they help pick up the apples that make the juice!), sent post cards and visited the toy store. I ate lunch with the hausgemeinshaft--always an event! We relaxed and napped in the afternoon.

July 25
We relaxed around the house in the morning, and then did some grocery shopping, before hopping on a train to go to IKEA in beautiful Mannheim. Mannheim is NOT a city I need to visit again--there are many more interesting and better looking places in Germany that deserve my attention! We wandered around IKEA spending most of our time in the baby section (can't figure that one out!). At home again we tidied the apartment and made beds to prepare for Mom and Dad's arrival.

July 26
Heidi and Tim went back to work today. I stayed at the apartment and did laundry and dishes, waiting for our parent's arrival. Mom and Dad showed up in their big blue van at about 12. They dropped off luggage and then looked for a place to park the van. Dad and Bill went to Tenglemann's to buy some cheese and meat while I baked some bread for a quick meal for the group. After lunch Bill and Margaret took a short nap while Mom and Dad unpacked a suitcase for Heidi and Tim. Then Heidi and Tim headed back to work while we headed out to visit Heidleberg. We started on one side of the city visiting the ruins of a cloister and then an amphitheater used/built by Hitler. Then we rode down through the old city to the other side of the city and the castle. It was too late to tour the castle but we looked around the grounds. We then headed down to meet Heidi and Tim at the station. They were bringing Leroy and Jerri with them. We wandered around the Altstadt and found a nice little restaurant, afterwhich Heidi and I enjoyed a gelato, courtesy of Bill and Margaret.

July 27
Today we headed to Sinnsheim to a museum full of old cars, airplanes, and military things. There were also several "fashion models" to go with each exhibit. Leroy and I rode in the kiddie rides together, and the best part of the museum was the slide that started high in the air in an airplane, down through a chute into the museum. I made sure everyone went, although some were a bit reluctant. After the museum we headed back to Bammental to meet Heidi and Tim and then ate Doners with assorted drinks in the hausgemeinshaft common area.

July 28
Today we drove with Heidi and Tim (and the whole group) down the Rhine river between Mainz and Koblenz, looking at all the castles and the Lorelei. We then followed the Mosel to the village Loguich, stopping in Edigar for a bit of wine tasting (try the fantastic red peach liquor if you ever have a chance!) Supper was in a hilltop restaurant above Trittenheim, where the Mosel flows in a horseshoe shape below and you have a beautiful view of the area vineyards. We enjoyed the evening, despite the cool air during supper.

July 29
After a wonderful breakfast we headed for the city of Trier, the oldest city in Germany. We took a bus tour and then explored on foot. Heidi, Bill, Margaret and I enjoyed icecream at a special place that made their own waffle cones! We drove back to Bammental to spend the night.

July 30
Today we headed south to my hometown of Munich again. This time I was to be the tour guide for a group. Heidi and Tim had to stay home to work, but I was looking forward to showing off my city to the rest of the group! We stayed in Dachau, in a former brewery in the old city. After checking into our hotel, we drove into Munich to park at the Olympic Stadium and then ride the train into the heart of Munich. We walked around the downtown a bit, and then headed to the beer garden for a true "German Beer Garden" experience. We all enjoyed a good meal, and great beer!

July 31
Today after breakfast we headed for the Dachau concentration camp. Although I've been here several times, each time I visit I always experience the same feelings of sadness and disbelief. The cruelty that humans are capable of is astonishing to me. We spent several hours in the museum and wandering the grounds, which are immense. After the sobering experience of the camp, we headed into town to explore the Nymphenburg castle. We toured the inside, but spent most of the time in the beautiful grounds. This was one of the places that I spent quite a bit of time at and I have many good memories of time spent here playing with "my" children.

August 1
Today I awoke with a terrible migraine, so I had to skip breakfast and try to rest a bit longer before our group left. We traveled today to the village of Prien to visit a palace built by "Mad King Ludwig", which is located on an island in the Chiemsee Lake. This palace is one of 3 built by the crazy king, and was built to look like Versailles. The island is beautiful and home to several species of bats. I enjoyed walking the paths to get to the castle, and the amazing fountains in front of the palace. After the tour of the castle and walking around the grounds we headed for Bad Goisern which is southeast of Salzburg, Austria and our pension for the next evenings, located on the berg Predigstuhl. Supper was at the restaurant at the hotel, and we spent the evening looking out over the beautiful mountains, watching them turn from gray to purple to rose colored.

August 2
Our agenda today included a stop in Hallein to visit a salt mine and learn a little more about the history of the Salzburg area. We had a great tour of the salt mines (in German, Italian, and English!) and enjoyed our rides on the underground salt lake, and down the 2 slides. After the tour of the salt mine, and after shedding our white oompa loopa suits, we walked around the recreated Celt village that was also included as part of our museum fee, and then headed into Salzburg. A terrific rainstorm hit while we were there, but I managed to get some great shopping done! We spent the evening at our hotel enjoying another great meal at the Predigstuhl restaurant and watching the fog roll down the mountains. I love this place, and can't wait to come back! Absolutely gorgeous!

August 3
Today we drove northwest towards Meersburg (back in Germany) which is located on Lake Constance. We drove through beautiful country--the Austrain Alps. Beautiful! After our long drive we were eager to check into our pension and find a good place to eat. We took a walk out of town to a nearby restaurant (supper was a bit frenetic as the walk took longer than anticipated, and we were needing to pick up Heidi and Tim at the train station by a certain time!). Thankfully everything got sorted out and we were able to eat our meal, and get to the train station in the next town with Heidi and Tim only having to wait for a bit after their train came in.

August 4
After breakfast we headed into the Old City and wandered the streets and small shops. There was an arts/crafts fair type thing, so it was fun to poke around in the little stalls. I found some little fairy tale books auf Deutsch--I'm always looking for German children's books to keep. After several different meeting places and time changes for our group, we finally all met up and headed for the boat landing. We took a ferry to the beautiful island of Mainau which is in the middle of Lake Constance. This was my second visit to the island, but as before, I found that I love this place! Mainau is an island that is famous for its flowers and plants. The last time I visited was at Easter time, and the island looked completely different this time. The best part last time was a green house filled competely with orchids. This time there was a special building filled with butterflies. Beautiful!

August 5
Today we started back north towards Bammental. We drove through the Black Forest, making a stop for some parts for Burton's cookoo clock, and another stop at a wood carvers shop. We also had to stop for a meal and some excellent Schwarzwalder Torte (chocolate cake with kirsch drenched cherries, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings!) Yum!

August 6
Today Heidi and Tim went back to work again, while the rest of us headed to the Alsace area of eastern France. Many of the people here speak German as well as French (the area changed back and forth between France and Germany depending on several wars). We stopped in the beautiful village of Riquewhir, which is famous for wine and the storks that nest on top of the houses. The group split up to poke around the city. Mom, Dad and I stopped at a little cafe and enjoyed a lunch of quiche. I also bought some Alsatian wine to bring home with me, and enjoyed talking to the grape farmer about the different wines and the weather for the area! After getting a bit lost in France, we finally found our way back to Germany and then to Bammental. The evening was spent packing our bags again and getting ready to go back to KS.

August 7
Dad, Mom, Leroy and I left early in the morning so that I could make my plane on time. They dropped me off at the airport (Dad got another speeding ticket, we think) with Dad heading back to Bammental to pick up Margaret and Bill, and Leroy and Mom going to pick up Burton's rental car. I was a bit worried that my luggage would be too heavy and I would have to pay additional charges, but everything went through ok. There was a bit of trouble at the passport check to let me out of Germany--there were some American's in front of me who aroused the concern of the German government and were being severely questioned about their travels, and a fine...it got sorted out, but took about 20 minutes. By the time I got up there and showed them my American passport, they were suspicious of Americans, which meant I got questioned too. (My passport still has all my working papers in it from my time in Germany, so it always raises some eyebrows, but I think the people in front of me made my questioning experience worse!) My plane connections were a story unto themselves. We didn't leave Frankfurt until 1 1/2 hours later than we were supposed to--people who had checked their baggage never showed up, so we waited for them to come for over an hour, before the pilot decided that they weren't going to come. We couldn't just leave though, instead they went through the cargo and had to find the people's luggage first! This took another 1/2 hour. So...we left Frankfurt late, and I was supposed to have had just an hour layover in Chicago. Once we got to Chicago, we had to go through customs. As always I was questioned (what is it about me? do I look dishonest?) and had to have my luggage pawed through and checked. By the time I got my luggage rechecked through to Wichita, and headed to the right terminal, my flight had left without me, or so I thought. When I got to the gate it was supposedly leaving from, there was a long line of ANGRY customers. My flight that was supposed to leave at 10:35 hadn't left yet, and it was 12:00. People were fighting over who should get the standby seats if there were any seats left over, being rude to each other and the airline workers and grumbling in general to themselves and anyone else who would listen. At various times there were airplanes supposedly sent to pick us up, but because of mechanical difficulties, they never arrived. Finally they sent an airplane for us, but we all had to change to a different gate. While waiting for the airplane to be cleaned and restocked, we watched what we think were two luggage carts crash, and 3 Chicago fire trucks arrive with firemen and hatchets running all over. At last the firetrucks left, the airplane was stocked, and we were ready to leave. And it was only 2:00! The plane that was supposed to leave at 10:35 really left at 2:15 with plenty of angry people on board. I was just glad to be heading to KS, and hopefully a chance to set my bags down and rest! Carmen picked me up at the airport and let me nap on her couch while waiting for my parents. Mom, Dad and I got home to Hesston around 11:15 or so, and headed straight to bed!

Taking myself out

2007-07-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'm taking myself out...because romantically there isn't anyone around here who is interested in me, or that I am interested in. I know, I sound silly...but I'm taking myself out--and I'm going out of the country to do it! Now, that is a date! :)

As a teacher I work hard throughout the school year. I go to school early to help kids, and get lesson plans ready. I stay after school to help kids or attend meetings. I work hard throughout the day, teaching and smoothing the way for a population that not many feel called to work with. In the evenings, I go home, but school is constantly running through my mind. In the summer, I teach summer school, volunteer, and work other odd jobs.

I put in my time at work, and when I'm not there I am busy running errands, going to school, trying to accomplish all that I possibly can, and check off as much as possible on my "to-do" list (there's always more to be done, but I do what I can). I feel that I deserve some time for rest and relaxation now.

Monday afternoon, I'll be boarding a flight in Wichita that will take me to Denver, and from there I'll go on to Frankfurt, Germany. I've been packing for the past week, trying to cram in as much stuff for Heidi and Tim as I possibly can, but still have room for clothes for myself! I may end up wearing maternity clothes before this vacation is through! :) At least they will be stylish maternity clothes--no frumpy outfits allowed! I'm looking forward to spending some time with my best friends, Heidi and Tim. We're planning on doing a bit of traveling, but most of all, I'm just looking forward to being with them. I've truly missed them this year, and I'm excited about being together again. The time will go quickly, I'm sure.

While I'm there, I hope that I'll have a chance to post and update everyone on all that we've done, and are doing. Check back, I'll try to post as often as I can.

I'll be flying back on the 7th of August, but I'm going to do my best to get bumped. Whichever day I end up coming back, I'll have to spend the time on the return flight sorting out everything I need to do for the start of school. I'll only have about 3-4 days before school starts when I get home. It doesn't matter how rushed I'll feel though, being with my family again will make it all worth it!

"Play is the business of childhood, and its continuation in later years is the prolongation of youth." --Walter Rauschenbusch>

Making a date with friends

2007-07-05T20:41:00.000-07:00
Okay, I admit it! Sometimes I take life too seriously. I know, I know, it's a surprise to all of you! :)

There have been some instances of late that have made life seem more like an uphill climb, fighting all the way, instead of the playful romp I'd much prefer. I decided to do something about it today though, and spent the afternoon with Julie and Quinn out at the lake on the dock and enjoying the boat. I had so much fun this afternoon, I think I'll repeat the experience tomorrow as well!

Relaxing with friends puts problems into perspective. Friends are there for you through tears and laughter, troubles and triumphs. Friends make life worthwhile, ensuring that love and laughter are a part of your week.

Laughter can relieve tension, soothe the pain of disappointment, and strengthen the spirit for the formidable tasks that always lie ahead. --Dwight D. Eisenhower

Sand Fantasy

2007-06-26T20:49:00.000-07:00
Okay, so I may be the last person on the block to know about this, but my friend Kym introduced me to something really cool tonight. It's called sand art, and if you go on YouTube you can find several videos on it.

The ones that I like the best are done by a lady, Ilana Yahav. Ilana is a sand animation artist.
Using only her fingers, Ilana draws with sand on a glass table. If you attend one of her live performances, a video camera is trained on the glass table and the images are then projected up onto a screen so that all can see. My favorite of them all is "Just Imagine". Her website is www.sandfantasy.com . Following are excerpts from her website telling about her art form...

'Ilana draws on sand, using only her fingers. As she weaves together sand, lighting and music, Ilana creates incredible three dimensional vistas they play out in perfect time with the musical accompaniment, Indeed, it is difficult to decide if the music accompanies the work of art, or vice versa Ilana's fingers dance in the sand on the glass to the music, the resulting aesthetic dynamic is powerful and moving. Ilana uses this original technique in the creation of advertisements and image building clips.'

'The art of "Sand Fantasy" was created for specific song lyrics and themes, where some of the clip messages were presented as a story created by sand. The show is created not only after a song's main message and spirit, but is also synchronized with the rhythm and music.
The combination of the production of music clips with this unique art usually raises tremendous interest in the local media (TV, newspapers, magazines) and helps enhance public relations for the singers or musician involved.'

**For those of you who make a habit of watching Animal Planet, they used sand art for a marketing series. Amazing animal pictures! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvFBcUb9mZ0

****While you're at YouTube, check out this video! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY-XTs-9Psk Wish we could have done something like this when I was in German class!

This and that

2007-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00
The countdown is on...it will be only a few short weeks until I am boarding a plane and flying to see my sister and brother-in-law. It feels like I need to cram in as much summer as possible before I leave, so I've been filling my days to the brim.

Yesterday I spent time moving stuff from one classroom to another at the school in preparation for summer school, which starts next Monday. I also spent time getting copies done, and trying to think through some lesson plans for certain kids. After I was done with that, I rode my bike over to Kym's house and ate a salad with her, while playing with Jaxxi. We had an enjoyable few hours playing with the baby, and enjoying the cooler, rainy weather on the front deck. In the afternoon I did some cleanup around the house, getting dishes and things like that completed, and then went out to mow the lawn. The recent rains have made it so that it is too wet to get in and mow, but still make the grass grow more! It looks like I need to borrow a baler now, and maybe in a few days I can make a hay bale! :) I was a sweaty mess when I was done--the humidity yesterday was something else!

So far today I've gone on an early morning walk around Marion with my friend Julie, run some errands downtown, and I'm in the middle of making some homemade yogurt. This afternoon Kym and I will go for haircuts--I know, I lead an exciting life! :) It's been good to have a few days of relaxation though, I like spending time in my own home, something that I don't seem to do much!

Tomorrow the big thing on my calendar, aside from my morning walk, is learning a new sequence for massage class. I'll be learning side-lying massage, and prenatal massage, so that I can give Heidi some massages while I visit. It's important to be trained in the specific strokes, because certain types of massage and work on certain pressure points actually start labor, which is not something we should do at this stage! Maybe if she's overdue and ready to pop at Christmas when I visit, but not at this point! After massage class, I will hop into my car and head to NE to visit Grandma and Grandpa J. Tim and Terri are on vacation right now, so I'll be doing some of the farm chores while I'm there. This is the first time I'll be back since they sold the animals off, so I'm not sure how I'll react to it all. I've tried to prepare myself as best as I can for the change.

Date night with Grandma

2007-06-13T14:40:00.000-07:00
Tonight is date night with Grandma B, and everyone is coming in my direction. After my 5 mile bike ride around the lake this morning I started on the ribs so that they could bake all day, and hopefully fall off the bone by tonight. I even made my own BBQ sauce for them. I also was blessed that Heidi and Terri were online and I was able to chat with them for awhile.

I've been busy picking up the house a bit, folding and putting away laundry, although I'll save my major cleaning for Friday in order that everything is ready for my purse party. I also had my TM1 final today--the full Swedish body massage sequence. I was a bit nervous, and made a few mistakes, but overall it went really well. I have a meeting on Friday with the ladies at the massage clinic to go over procedures and expectations. I'm eager to start moving my things into "my" room, and decorating the room to make it my own.

When I got home, I baked a quick loaf of beer bread for dad--carbs, carbs, carbs! ;) Pickerings will be coming over after dinner for some more talk about our summer travel plans.

The rest of the week is going to be some more "deep" cleaning of the house, getting curriculum and plans done for summer school, May girl sleep over, purse party, and maybe a few other fun projects thrown in there!

Erica's South Beach-Style BBQ Sauce
1 1/2 medium sized onions, chopped
2 T. garlic, minced
Drippings from meat
1 cup water
4 T. vinegar
2 T. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup lemon juice
2 tsp. Splenda
2 tsp. mustard
1/2 cup ketchup
2 T. Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce

Saute onions and garlic in the meat drippings. Add in all other ingredients and simmer for 20 minutes.

Great News!

2007-06-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Summer, or what I've had of it so far, has been busy. Our family had a wonderful, wet trip to Indianapolis. Upon re-entry in Marion, the week was busy rushing around catching up and preparing for Becca's beautiful wedding this last weekend.

Our garden is bountiful, and rewarding us with an enormous amount of produce. We've got lettuce, spinach and cilantro coming out of our ears--a good problem to have, if you ask me! We've harvested all of our cauliflower by now, and I have put some in the freezer for later. Our broccoli plants are doing really well too. We've got little jalapenos, bell peppers and tomatoes putting on. Our bean rows are nice and straight, our cucumbers are spreading out their winding tentacles, the onions are slowly growing bigger, and the potatoes are flowering and bushy. I think we'll be blessed with more than enough--plenty to can, freeze and share with others.

I've canned some salsa verde already. I cut part of the cilantro plants out (it barely made a dent in it!), and added jalapenos, tomatillos, garlic, onions, lime juice, and a few pablano peppers. It's a beautiful green color, and can burn your skin off! I accidentally splashed some in my left eye, I thought I was going to have to go to the ER! Thankfully I was able to wash out the eye with cool water and plenty of tears.

My good news for the day is that I've officially now been invited to join the massage clinic here in town. As early as next week I can move in and start setting up a client base. Yippee! I need to figure out how I want to advertise, and how I'm going to go about all of this... I want to at least make enough to cover the rent for the room I'll be occupying, and not be "out" of any money at the end of the month! If you have any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them! Of course, I'd welcome any of you to be my clients! ;)